Page 49 of My Secret to Protect

‘If you stay in bed all day, will you sleep?’ The question throws me off, so he continues. ‘Bree, you’re exhausted. I see it today more than I have the past few weeks, so if we cancel today and you stay in bed, will you be able to sleep?’

I hold his gaze for what feels like a long time before, embarrassingly, I burst into tears. My hands come up to cover my face as I cry, and then I feel his strong hands grip my biceps.

‘Go, take a shower, pix, and get dressed. I’m going to make you some breakfast, then we’re going to walk Beans, and then we’re getting ice cream. No arguments.’

He turns me toward the stairs and as I head up and climb into the shower, I note that the plans we made to parade ourselves around town as a couple seem to have changed for something more private, and as pissed off with him as I am, I couldn’t be more pleased.

There’s Only One Way This Can Go

Arlo

Herperiodswerealwaysbad. She warned me about them back then and told me to ignore what a bitch she could be at that time of the month, but when it came around, she was nothing but a hungry little snuggle bunny, and it seems she still is. I’m not the one getting the snuggles now, obviously, but she seems to be more drawn to Beans than ever. He doesn’t mind one bit, and I am most definitely not fighting jealous feelings toward my dog. I wanted to keep her at arms’ length today. That kiss last night at the bar was intense, and we could have used some distance today, but now, all I want to do is make sure she’s okay. This has nothing to do with the plan and everything to do with wanting to make her smile when I know she feels like crap. I’m fucked.

‘I love him,’ she says as she sits in the sand by the side of the lake, my big idiot flat on his back, balls in the wind, four legs spread out, tongue hanging out of his mouth. I can’t help but laugh.

‘Fuck, Beans. You have no shame, bud.’

Bree chuckles at that and continues to give him all the belly rubs.

‘You have nothing to be ashamed of,’ she says to him in an encouraging voice, like the way you might talk to a preschooler after they pee their pants, but you don’t want them to be embarrassed. ‘You’re a good boy, baby, yes you are.’

Inhaling deeply, I shake my head and drop to sit on a log. I’m almost forty, six foot four, covered in tattoos, an ex-prisoner, and an ex-motorcycle club member. I’ve seen and done some shit, I own my own business, and I’m generally a pretty intimidating dude to most people, but all I want to do right now is lay down and ask her to callmea good boy. I’m fucked.

‘We’re supposed to be walking,’ I grumble, and she turns to me, standing and brushing the sand off her knees.

‘Don’t be grumpy.’ She walks over to sit on the log next to me, and I reach down into the bag that I brought. ‘It’smyday to be grumpy, not yours.’

Without asking if she wants one, I hold out a chocolate bar and wait for her to take it.

‘What’s that?’

‘Chocolate, short stuff. I ran to the general store while you were showering.’ I shrug and avoid her attention, which is fixed on me, so I focus on Beans, who’s now playing at the water’s edge. ‘I remember you saying chocolate helped, don’t know if it still does, but I figured it can’t hurt.’

‘It helps,’ she says softly as she takes the bar and starts to unwrap it before offering me some. I shake my head no and stand to throw a stick for Beans. It feels good that it helps, that I did something to make her feel better. It shouldn’t feel this good. It shouldn’t matter at all.

Bree

Hebroughtmechocolate.

I don’t know why him telling me that he ran out to the store to buy me chocolate because I crave it when it’s my time of the month made emotion tighten my throat and tears wet my eyes, but it did.

It kind of hurts. All I ever wanted was a partner to share life with, someone who understands that for four days a month, I will bitch and moan and cry and eat. I wanted it to be Arlo once, and now, I wish it could still be him, but he’s made it clear it won’t be, and he’s doing it anyway.

‘Come on, let’s walk,’ I say, standing, needing to focus my energy on moving my body instead of watching the man I’m trying hard not to fall for all over again play with his dog—as though he wasn’t hot enough already.

He has me confused. Nolan has me exhausted, but I can’t deny that the space Arlo Harper carved out and left vacant twenty years ago is opening up to try and pull him in like he’s the key to the door I kept locked, and there’s nothing I can do to stop him getting in. My heart is going to break all over again.

‘I love it up here.’

I stare out across the water, watching the rippling reflection of the blue sky above, listening to the sounds of the birds and the waterfalls in the distance.

‘It’s a beautiful spot,’ Arlo agrees, crouching down to take out a water bottle from his bag and passing it to me. ‘Your brother keeps asking me to come fishing with him.’

Laughter bursts out of me. Doug is obsessed with fishing, but I also know he wants to get to know Arlo,my new man, a little better.

‘Yeah, it’s kind of his thing. He always did it, but once Bowie came along, it was how he found his quiet, you know?’ I shrug and take a swig of water. ‘Nick has a cabin on the other side of the lake.’ I point out in the direction of the cabin. ‘If you think it’s beautiful over here, you should take Doug up on that fishing trip. The cabin is in this gorgeous, secluded little spot with its own little beach. Nick, Doug, and Leo have been working on putting in a dock so he can get a boat up there, and the kids can jump off into the water.’

‘The kids?’ He turns to me, one eyebrow raised, and I smile.

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