Page 71 of Home in Nevada

Jamie’s struggling to hold back laughter the entire time, and I’m doing my best to sink deeper into the mattress and disappear completely. He flips the page over, grinning like a maniac.

"But that’s all that happened. Is that weird? I stopped to play the game again, but Jamie kept looking at me like it was weird. I hope he wasn’t too weirded out. It was kinda dumb. I dunno why I did it, it was basically an accident. It just made me feel good, I guess. Jamie is my best friend in the whole world, but... I dunno why I did it. I hope he doesn’t tell anybody.

When Mom and Dad came home and Jamie left, I still had a boner—"

"Jamie," I groan, cutting him off as he puts the paper down and looks at me.

"Should I read the rest of it out loud? ‘Cause it gets pretty graphic after that, when you talk about what you did in the bathroom. I don’t know why you go into so much detail in your diary about your dick—"

"You can stop. I remember," I mutter, glaring at him. "Jamie, why thehelldid you keep that?"

"For the jerking-off part, obviously," he deadpans, smiling like the asshole he is.

I glare harder, and he softens. "'Because it’s when you first kissed me," he says more seriously.

"Do you haveanyidea how embarrassing this just was for me?" I ask, still blushing.

"Well, yeah," he says with a smirk. "Why do you think I read it?"

I can’t help the smile that sneaks onto my face. I roll onto my side and start tickling him, and Jamie squirms hysterically, trying to escape to the other side of the bed.

"Quit it!" he yelps, blocking my hands with his arms.

I lunge closer, but he keeps fending me off. "Quit it, Jeff! I was just messing with you!" he shouts, breathless with laughter.

I pause, hovering over him, giving him a questioning look.

Jamie’s smile fades into something softer. "I took it because it’s when you first kissed me," he says. His voice drops, quieter now. "Do you have any idea how many times I replayed that kiss in my head?"

I stare at him, caught off guard.

"A lot," he continues. "You kissed me for, like, twenty minutes by accident."

I burst out laughing, trying to stay serious but failing miserably. "It wasn’t for that long."

"Yeah, dude, it was," he insists, completely certain.

I study his face, still trying to read him like I always do. Jamie doesn’t let me in easily, but when he does, it hits me like a freight train.

"I had such a huge crush on you, even before you did that," he adds softly.

"I know... now," I admit, searching his face. "Why?"

Jamie blinks, surprised. "What? Are you kidding me?"

"No..."

"Jeff, you were—" He stops, giving me this look, like I’m dense for even asking. "You were always, like, the coolest kid in school. Everyone loved you. I have no idea why you didn’t stop hanging out with me after elementary school. You probably wouldn’t have been friends with me in middle school if I hadn’t started playing football. I only played because of you."

"You didn’t like football?"

Jamie shrugs. "No, I liked it... once I gave it a chance. I ended up being really good at it. Am I right?"

I laugh. "Yeah, you were decent, I guess..."

Jamie grins at that, but I know the truth. He was the best player on the team in high school, hands down. I just can’t bring myself to admit it out loud. Instead, I lie there, trying to wrap my head around the fact that he started playing football just to stay close to me.

"Okay, whatever." Jamie rolls his eyes but keeps going. "You were my best friend, and you were super hot, Jeff. That’s why. How could Inothave a crush on you?"

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