Page 50 of Home in Nevada

Jeff:Tell him I said to stop thinking about it.

Jeff: Also, tell him he shouldn't have read that stupid fucking PRIVATE journal and yes, I'm pissed about it. What the hell???

Jeff:He should forget me and just go home.

Shit, my phone’s buzzing—it’s Lucy. The last thing I want to do is answer, but ignoring her isn’t an option. With a sigh, I swipe to pick up.

“Jeff, what’s wrong with you?!” she snaps, her words coming out fast and sharp. “Jamie wants to say goodbye before he leaves. He has plenty of time—”

“It’s not a good idea,” I interrupt. “He should just go. And you shouldn’t have fucking gone over there, Lucy! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I’m helping,” she says, her voice firm. “Dude, he wants to see you—”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Jeff, that’s what he just told me. That’s what he’s telling me right now.”

“He wants to see me because he’s worried about me. He shouldn’t be. He needs to just leave.”

There’s a heavy silence on the other end. I try to steady my breathing, to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside me, but it’s useless. The tears are already welling up, blurring my vision as I keep going.

“He needs to go home and forget about me, Lucy.” My voice cracks, and I hate how raw and exposed I sound. God, I’m so tired of crying. My jaw aches from clenching it, trying to hold back the flood. My eyes are puffy, my chest hollow—it’s like my body is running out of tears, but my heart isn’t done breaking.

“He’s wasting his time, and he doesn’t deserve this, Lucy. He needs to go home. He deserves so much more than me. He’ll be okay. He’ll find someone who will take care of him, who’ll make him feel secure. And loved. And special, like he fucking deserves. And he’ll forget about me.” My voice trembles, my throat tight with emotion. “He doesn’t deserve how shitty and selfish I’ve been. I was a mistake.”

“Jeff—” Lucy starts, but I cut her off.

“He deserves someone who knows what they’re doing. Someone he can trust to love him, to be confident enough to take him out without hesitation... Someone who will hold him when he’s sad and tell him how much they care so he never has to worry.” My words spill out in a desperate rush.

“JEFF—” Lucy tries to interrupt again, but I can’t stop now.

“To make him feel safe. To make him trust that he’s the only one who makes them feel that way. To make him feel like he’s not second best to anyone, ever—”

“Jeffrey, you’re on speakerphone, dude,” Lucy says, her voice softer now, cutting through my rant like a knife.

My heart stops.

“What?” I choke out, the heat rushing to my face, turning it bright red.

“You’re on speakerphone,” she repeats, quieter this time.

I don’t think. I just hang up. My hand shakes as I drop the phone onto the couch beside me. I stare at it, my thoughts a chaotic mess. All I can hear is my own voice, replaying the words I just said, and the horrifying realization that Jamie heard every single one of them.

Oh my God. What the hell is wrong with her?! Did she do that on purpose so Jamie would hear me?! How long was she planning to let me ramble on like a bumbling, fucking mess?!

Lucy calls again, but I don’t pick up. I send her to voicemail, my chest tight with humiliation.

I throw my phone onto the counter and head for the shower. A cold one. Something to snap me out of this spiral, but it doesn’t work. The embarrassment clings to me like a second skin.

When I get back to the living room, my phone is lighting up again. The sight sends my stomach into a tailspin. I don’t bother reading anything except the last text from Lucy:

Lucy:We’re coming back over there. He wants to see you.

My chest tightens. They’re coming over?! The text is from ten minutes ago.

Panic surges through me. I have to leave. Now.

I scramble to gather my things, tossing stuff into my bag as fast as I can. My heart pounds as I glance out the kitchen window and see Lucy’s car pull up.

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