Page 34 of Home in Nevada

“Yeah, kinda.”

“No one noticed,” I say, trying to sound casual, though my stomach twists even as the words leave my mouth.

Jamie scoffs dramatically. “Seriously, Jeff? They noticed, you hot dumb idiot. My boyfriend pointed it out the second he saw me. And I even tried covering it up instead of just owning it, because I’m also an idiot, I guess. Stop being stupid—how could you think he wouldn’t notice something like that?”

A weird mix of relief and guilt washes over me. I don’t say it, but a small, selfish part of me is glad he noticed. It’s shitty, but it’s true.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have commented on my Instagram photo either,” I tease. “Are you sure it wasn’t that? Because that comment really made it sound like you wanted in my pants.”

The line goes quiet, and for a second, I wonder if I’ve gone too far.

“He was pissed,” Jamie finally says, his voice quieter now. “And honestly, he had every right to be.”

“I mean, yeah,” I admit, the knot in my chest tightening. “We both messed up. It was wrong.”

Jamie doesn’t respond right away, but when he does, his words tumble out like he’s been holding them in for days. “I kissed you first, Jeff. That’s on me. I shouldn’t have done it.”

I shake my head, even though he can’t see me. “Don’t do that. Don’t put it all on yourself. I kissed you back, Jamie. I wanted it. I didn’t stop it. That’s on both of us.”

“Still,” Jamie says, his voice heavy, “I knew better. I knew what I was doing, and I did it anyway. That’s... not who I want to be.”

His words hit me hard, because they echo exactly what I’ve been feeling since it happened. “Yeah,” I murmur. “Me neither. Honestly… I hate that we did this. I mean, I liked it—I liked it a lot—but it wasn’t the right way to do it.”

“Me too,” Jamie says softly. “I don’t ever want to be that person again, Jeffrey… All the making out we did in secret back in high school too, you know? I feel like a jackass.”

“Same.” I swallow hard, the weight of the moment pressing down on me. “We’re not gonna let this happen again, okay? No more... this. Not if either of us is in a relationship.”

“Promise,” Jamie says immediately, his voice firm.

“I promise.”

For a moment, the line is silent, the weight of our guilt hanging between us like a heavy fog. But then I ask the question that’s been nagging at me.

“So… Did your boyfriend... did he break up with you?”

Jamie exhales, and I can hear the resignation in the sound. “Yeah. He did. It’s over. I haven’t heard from him since he exploded on me about my neck. Honestly, I can’t blame him. He’s probably better off without me.”

“That’s not true,” I say instinctively, though I’m not sure he hears me.

Jamie lets out a humorless laugh. “Well, either way… I guess I’m single now. Just in time for our little reunion.”

I force a chuckle, but the truth is, the weight of what we’ve done still lingers. I know we’ve both got a lot to figure out before anything between us can feel right.

Jamie’s voice sounds heavy, and I hate hearing him like this. I try to lighten the mood. “So... you saying you’re gonna be single when you visit me next month?”

“Probably.” Jamie chuckles softly. “Not like you will be, though...”

That stings more than it should.

I force a laugh. “Dude, are you kidding me?”

Jamie’s laugh is real this time, light and deep, and it hits me hard. He has no idea how much I want to be with him… Without the guilt, without all the bullshit.

“Hell no. You’re a total slut, Jeffrey. I bet you a hundred bucks you’ll end up in some girl’s bed and fall in love again. Like you always do.”

I let out a genuine laugh too then, shaking my head. “Wow. Yeah, okay, fucker... You’re on. It’s a bet.”

“Okay then.”

---