Page 30 of Home in Nevada

“When you said I wouldn’t know what to do with you—Jamie, I wanted to rip your pants off and fuck you so hard right then—”

“Jeff!” Jamie’s voice cracks, caught between embarrassment and amusement. He’s off mute now, and definitely laughing, even with the serious nature of the conversation hanging in the air.

“Well, I’m a fucking wreck, dude. Fuck all of this, Jamie. I don’t even know who I am.”

“Quit being a drama queen. You’re Jeff.”

Jamie’s words, simple and unpolished, somehow hit harder than I expect. They offer a sliver of comfort, grounding me in a way I didn’t realize I needed.

“Quit freaking out,” Jamie adds, laughter still in his voice, but there’s something softer underneath it. “Why do you think any of this changes who you are? You’re still the same guy who made me play Mario Kart with broken controllers just so you’d win. The same guy who orders burgers plain because ketchup freaks you out.”

His words pull a small laugh out of me, despite everything. It’s such a Jamie way to remind me of myself—pointless and dumb and exactly what I need to hear.

“Yeah, well, that guy’s still a fucking mess.”

“Maybe,” Jamie says, his voice lighter now, “but you’re my favorite mess.”

For the first time all night, I manage a genuine smile, my heart racing in my chest. “Hey, Jamie… I’m so fucking glad we’re talking again.”

“Me too, Jeff. I missed you. For a long time.”

The relief in his voice feels like a balm to my frayed nerves, softening the sharp edges of everything clawing at me. Exhaustion tugs at me, but hearing those words makes the weight of the night just a little lighter.

“I missed you too,” I say, my voice unsteady. “I missed you so much, Jamie. I hated leaving you. I hated not replying to your text. It haunted me, but… all I wanted to do when I got back to Nevada was see you again. I hoped somehow you’d forgiven me.”

“…I didn’t think I would,” Jamie says quietly, his voice trailing off.

“Would what? Forgive me?”

“See you again.”

His words strike something deep inside me, the ache in my chest growing heavier. “Well, surprise.”

Jamie laughs softly, the sound bittersweet and familiar, like a thread pulling us back together. “Hey, Jeff, I gotta go. I have work in the morning. It’s really fucking late.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” The words slip out automatically, almost robotic, and I cringe at how detached I sound. It’s not how I want to leave things, not after everything that’s happened tonight. But my emotions are a mess, tangled and frayed, and I know I need to give Jamie space.

“Okay. Goodnight, Jeff.”

His voice is soft, steady, and I wish I could cling to that steadiness for just a little longer. There’s so much I want to say, so much I feel like I need to say, but the words stay lodged in my throat.

“Night, Jamie,” I finally reply, my voice barely above a whisper.

As the line goes quiet, I sit there holding the phone, staring at the screen as his name fades away. The room feels colder without his voice, and the silence presses down on me, heavier than it was before.

I know I’ll talk to him tomorrow, but the ache in my chest doesn’t care. I don’t want to let him go—not tonight, not again.

Chapter 9

The one where Jeff finally says it.

Lucysinksintotheoutdoor café chair with a dramatic sigh, the metal scraping softly against the pavement. I take the seat across from her, the sun casting a warm glow over the scene, like some kind of ironic cosmic joke considering the shitstorm I’m about to unload on her.

She fumbles with her bag for a second, muttering under her breath before finally letting it thud to the ground. Her eyes dart to my face.

“Alright, spill. What in the living hell happened to your nose?”

I glance down at the table, my fingers fidgeting like they’ve got a mind of their own. Where do I even start? “A lot. I mean... a lot happened.”

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