Page 77 of Bear's Heart

Josie shook her head, a slow, frustrated defiant shake of her head.“Can we just turn this around for a minute?”

“You can’t.Josie, I know what I’m dealing with, and I know what I’ve been through, and I know what will happen down the road—”

“I’m not Savannah, Bear.Maybe she couldn’t handle the challenges, but I can.I was there when Jasper was born, and I have been there on the nights that no one thought he’d survive, and we got through it as a family—”

“But I’m not your family.”

“But Susie is.”

“Yes.”

“And you said you wouldn’t want her to date someone like you, or to get serious with someone like you.”

“Yes.And I mean it.”

“Okay, but what if Susie was the one hurt?What if Susie was injured?Your beautiful, warm, loving, lovely sister who made the family laugh?Who has been there for you when you were at her lowest.What if she was in an accident, and paralyzed—”

“Don’t.”

“Hear me out, Bear.What if she was single and her mind was all there, and her body was there, but due to a spinal cord injury, she was paralyzed.Would you want loving, strong men to avoid her?Would you scare off the good guys?Would you think she deserved less than she did before she was hurt?”

“Of course not.”

“Would you think Susie is just half of a woman now, so she only gets half of the man?”

“No.Never.She’d still be Susie.”

“Exactly.”Josie burned with anger, her hands knotted at her sides “You’d still want the best for her.You love her.You’re proud of who she is and the woman she’s become, and you’d want someone wonderful for her, someone who sees her as you do.And I see you.I don’t see what doesn’t work in you.I just see you, who you are, and who you have always been.But I also can’t make you love me, and if that’s really the issue here… you don’t love me… then you’re right.Let me go.Because that’s the only way I can leave you.It’s the only way I can give up on us.”

*

Josie held hisgaze so long that Bear’s insides hurt, his chest tight, his gut filled with bits of broken glass.He didn’t want to lie to her.He wasn’t a man who liked dishonesty, but the truth would keep her here, tethered to him, and that was exactly what he couldn’t do.

“I don’t love you the way I should,” he said after an endless silence.“I’m sorry, Josie, I really am.”

Her features crumpled; her shoulders slumped.“You mean that, don’t you?”

“I do.”

Chapter Sixteen

If August hadbeen the best month of Josie’s life, then September was the worst.She moved back to her parents’ home outside Bozeman because she couldn’t bear to remain in Marietta.She was sorry to give up her job at the gallery, but just driving down Main Street gave Josie pain.

Her parents were happy to have her home, and Josie applied for jobs in downtown Bozeman since she needed work, and since she’d achieved what she needed to do with Bear’s business for her design project to be accepted by her advisor, Josie was essentially done with school.

It was strange to have so much to do and then suddenly to be at loose ends.No one was hiring, either, at least, not work she was excited to do.Her dad told her to take some time for herself.He said she’d worked hard her entire life and it was okay for her to just rest a bit.

It was good advice but Josie couldn’t rest.She couldn’t relax.She couldn’t eat, or sleep, or focus on anything.Everything in her felt bruised.Broken.But maybe it’s because her heart was broken.

Marietta was in the past, and Bear was too, not that she could forget him just because she’d moved home.He seemed to always be there in her thoughts, and her heart, but their last conversation had been so brutal that she could only pick up the pieces of her heart and move forward.

Rye and Ansley brought Mick with them when they came to visit.They seemed as happy as always, and Mick absolutely favored Ansley, sitting at her side, and following her wherever she went.

Mick’s devotion to Ansley made Josie smile.Clearly Mick knew a good human when he saw one.But before Rye and Ansley left during their last visit, Ansley drew Josie aside.“You’re losing too much weight,” she said to Josie, giving her a quick hug.“You need to make sure you’re getting some protein and healthy food in you.”

“I just can’t eat,” Josie answered.“I can’t chew or swallow.It’s like there’s a rock inside my throat.”

“Would it make you feel any better to know that Bear isn’t doing very well, either?”

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