Page 20 of Bear's Heart

Instinctively, she held her breath as her obstetrician moved the flat cold ultrasound around, placing the wand in different spots on her flat stomach to get the best position to listen to the heartbeat.

She didn’t want to hear the heartbeat.Didn’t want to think of the baby.Didn’t want a baby.But here she was, having another checkup, trying to buy time and figure out what to do when time was the very thing she couldn’t buy… not if she was going to end the pregnancy.

She should just end the pregnancy.

“Sounds good,” Dr.Matthews said, lifting the Doppler and giving her an encouraging smile.“Nice strong heartbeat.”

She didn’t smile back.She couldn’t speak.She’d vowed she’d never do this again, go through this again.And yet here she was.Pregnant.Again.

She’d ended the pregnancy last time.That decision, two years ago, had been brutal.It tore her up, haunting her.She’d vowed then, never to go that route again.But here she was, thirty, single, and pregnant again.

“Any questions?”Dr.Matthews asked.

How about, how had it happened this time?She’d been so careful, was so zealous about protection.

But obviously not careful enough.

She shook her head, just wanting to get this over with.Wanting to get the information she needed and get out of here.“No.”

“Well, you’re entering the honeymoon phase now.Second trimester is generally the easiest part of pregnancy.Your energy should be back, and sex shouldn’t be a problem, either.In fact, lots of women say sex is better now than before they were pregnant.”The doctor gestured.“Let your partner know that he won’t hurt you, or the baby.Sometimes men get worried about that.”

Noah would be one of the men who worried about something like that.Noah was a good man.He’d marry her if he knew she was pregnant with his baby.

He couldn’t know.

But then, she hadn’t told Bear, either.

“Are you taking your prenatals?”the doctor asked, rolling back on his stool to reach for his iPad.The medical group had given up paper in favor of e-files.Apparently, everyone had gone electronic.

Savannah wasn’t sure how she felt about it.But then, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore, was she?

She sat up and pulled her top down, covering her stomach.“Yes,” she said, answering the doctor.“Taking the vitamins.They make me queasy.”

“They can.And the iron in them might constipate you.”

“And they do.”

The doctor smiled at her.“I’m glad you’ve decided to keep the baby.I know it was a difficult decision, what with your career.But babies travel.Your little one will get used to life on the road.”

Savannah’s smile never wavered.There was no way she could ask Dr.Matthews about options now.The laws had changed.She’d have to go somewhere far from here to have the procedure done.“And who is going to want to see a pregnant country singer on stage?”

“I’m certain you’ll figure out how to dress to hide it as long as possible.”

She slid off the table, smoothed her skirt down over her slim hips.They should be slim.She’d perfected starving herself.All the new country-western stars were thin.She wasn’t a star yet, but she was thin, too.It was just a matter of time now before she hit it big.Her agent even said she was getting some traction.Her new record was getting played more than the first one had.With a little luck and continued hard work, she was aiming to hit the charts this time.

So no, there was no room for a baby in her life.She was just thirty.She had plenty of time for babies later… should she even feel inclined to be maternal.

But to end another pregnancy?

She winced, uneasy.Her parents would die if they knew.Her dad was a pastor, and her mom was holier than him.Which was why she’d told no one about her pregnancy two years ago and wasn’t about to tell anyone about this one, either.

But Noah would want the baby…

Savannah suppressed the little voice, not wanting to think about Noah, aware that he deserved better.Aware that he deserved someone like him… someone loyal, loving, honest, kind.

Bear hadn’t been kind.Bear had been tough.Bear had been fierce.Beautiful.Sexual.He’d been so unbelievably good in bed.She’d loved it.Loved the way he didn’t take her attitude.Loved the way he tied her up, made her hot, made her come.She’d loved dancing with him.Loved walking with him.Running to him, from him, loved everything about him…

Until Tulsa.

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