Page 13 of Unclench Me Softly

ME:

yes

asher

aka: sentient guilt spiral

aka: anxiety in joggers

aka: a man who apologized to the air for arriving

CALLIE:

is he hot tho? i feel like he’s hot

like “i built a wellness app and cried when it failed” hot

ME:

he is

it’s a problem

he’s all “i haven’t touched a woman since the algorithm betrayed me” vibes

but then he says things like

“you look like someone who holds a lot”

and i blacked out for a second

CALLIE:

girl

he sees you

emotionally

which is honestly more dangerous than being choked

ME:

stop

my boobs perked up like we’re bonding mammals

i was not prepared

i have a ceremony to lead in 2 hours and my third eye is googling “accidental soulmate syndrome”

CALLIE:

i’m screaming

also

you do realize you’ve now got a rage monster and a soul whisperer under one roof

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