Page 39 of Autumn at the Cornish Garden Café

‘You do?’ she asked. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I am sure. More certain of it than I’ve ever been about anything. Although I’m flawed in many ways, my desire is to make you happy. I want to give you everything you want and to fill your life with love. I want to marry you and have a family with you…’

He kissed her again, and she tried to relax into the kiss, but something he’d said nagged at her like a burn. Henry wanted to marry her and to have a family with her. Such easy words to say and yet they were charged with meaning beyond what some people understood. She’d heard the words before and believed in them, trusted in them, and then she had been left broken.

She pulled away from his kiss and placed a hand on his chest. It felt like the air had thickened, refusing to fill her lungs. Panic clawed at her throat.

‘What is it?’ he asked, his eyes filled with concern. ‘Did I say the wrong thing?’

‘No. Yes. Oh … I don’t know.’ She shook her head. She needed to get away from him.

To think. To breathe. To listen to what her mind was telling her about the situation because when she was near him it was hard to think clearly.

She waded out of the water, grabbed her shoes then marched in the direction of the village.

‘Rosa?’

She turned. He was still standing in the water. The moonlight limned his body and he looked like he’d just come from the sea — ethereal, otherworldly, too good to be real.

‘I’ll call you. Please … don’t follow me. I need … some space.’

She turned away and hurried up the sand and when she reached the pavement, she slid her feet into her shoes and jogged home. The sand grated against her skin but she didn’t care. The discomfort was nothing compared to the pain in her chest. She felt she may even deserve it because she had let things come this far with Henry when she knew, deep down, that she didn’t have the right to lead him on.

Rosa’s heart was too damaged to love. It was shut down to possibility. Shut down to risk.

She simply couldn’t take a chance on Henry because if she did, and he hurt her, she would never recover. Resilience could only carry her so far.

When she reached the bookshop, she let herself inside, then locked the door and sank to the floor. As the tears flowed, she hugged her knees to her chest and surrendered to the pain.

If only Henry Clay had come into her life with his kindness, handsome face, and ability to make her smile before she was broken. If only she hadn’t met him now, after she’d already decided she couldn’t let anyone in. If only she could move on from the pain and learn to love again.

If only…

25

HENRY

Henry trudged through the village. It had been a week since he’d attended the Halloween party with Rosa, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen her since then. Well, not seen her up close, that was, because they lived in a small village. He’d seen her in the shop, at the café and on the beach, but he’d done his best to stay out of her way. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel there was any pressure from him. He knew what that was like, had been on the receiving end of pressure, and it wasn’t what he wanted for himself or for Rosa. She had asked him to give her space, and that was what he would do.

And this even though he was desperate to speak to her, to ask her what had changed when they’d been down at the beach. To find out if he had said or done something to make her have such a dramatic change of heart. Things had been going so well. They’d had a lovely evening, and he’d felt like things between them were progressing. But then he’d said or done something and it was like a switch had flipped inside her and she’d shut down and left him. As she’d walked away, he’d longed to cry out to her, to beg her to stay, but he’d known that would be wrong. Rosa had needed to stretch her wings and fly away, and she had every right to do so.

Henry had gone to work, had got through the days, had done his best to put his sadness from his mind. It was difficult, though, when he had felt so connected to Rosa. They also had Christopher to think about, and Henry had tried to visit him when Rosa wasn’t there, when he knew she’d be at work. Christopher had asked if everything was OK, had patted Henry’s hand and told him that everything would be all right. Henry didn’t know if Rosa had said anything to Christopher about her feelings, but he knew Christopher wouldn’t break her confidence if she had.

He wiped a hand over his brow now. Despite the chilly November morning, he felt very warm after his morning run. He was trying to keep in his routine, to stay above the sense of loss for something that had barely just begun, but it wasn’t easy. He was off work today since it was Saturday, so he couldn’t distract himself with school, but he could visit Christopher and bring him breakfast. Perhaps he’d see if the elderly man wanted to go to the café to eat. It could be nice for him to have a change of scenery.

He’d pop home and shower, then go to Christopher’s and see what he wanted to do. Staying busy was the only way he was going to get through this strange time. He hoped Rosa would soon want to speak to him, but until she did, he needed to sit tight. She had to make the next move, so he’d wait to hear from her.

26

ROSA

It was a bright but cold November morning and Rosa was in the shop. She’d opened up an hour ago but felt restless, so when Vinnie arrived, she asked him to watch things. She felt the need to see Christopher and check on him.

‘I’ll be back in an hour,’ she said to Vinnie.

‘No problem.’ Vinnie nodded as she left the bookshop and walked out into the cold.

Wrapping her scarf around her neck, she strode along the pavement. The sky was navy blue and clouds were being whipped along like trails of smoke by the brisk breeze. She knew the gunmetal grey sea would be freezing cold today and imagined wading into it and plunging beneath the waves to try to get rid of the ache in her heart. The thought sent a shiver running down her spine, and she tucked her hands into her pockets.

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