Page 3 of In Daddy's Care

Soren shrugged. “Yeah. One thing has nothing to do with the other.”

Shane leaned forward, making the tiny table between them seem even smaller. He looked fascinated. “Do you mind if I ask why?”

“I just told you. Kids are gross.”

A loud sigh rent the air. “You know what I mean. How did you find this kink?”

Soren fought an actual shudder. He hated when people called being a Little a kink. Logically, he understood it was, but—for him—it wasn’t really sexual or even a lifestyle. It was hard for him to explain his thoughts on a topic he had never fully understood himself. “I guess it’s…” Soren genuinely tried. Every word he considered didn’t sound right in his head. He was afraid to say them out loud. In his frustration, he shrugged. “Maybe I just have daddy issues.”

“Do you?” The open challenge in Shane’s question made him realize how clearly Shane saw him.

“No.” He took a breath. “Maybe. I don’t know. I went no contact with my parents the day I turned eighteen, so I guess it’s possible. Mostly, I think it’s just me. Even though I’m only twenty-five, I’m exhausted in a way that can’t be described. My mom was an almond mom. She stayed scared as hell I would gain a single pound and then I couldn’t become a professional dancer and take care of her in her old age. On the opposite side of things, my dad had me in Judo classes, scared as hell my mom was making her son gay and embarrassing him in front of the guys. I stayed stressed out, hungry, and bitter. At the same time, I overachieved at everything I did because I wanted to be loved.At school, I was the funny kid because, you know, trauma,” he said with flair. A bitter-sounding laugh escaped Soren.

“Then I turned eighteen.” A weight lifted from Soren’s chest. “I had planned and scraped and saved. There was no way I would stay a minute longer than legally bound. The second the clock struck midnight, I was out the window and renting a small place above the Chinese restaurant where I worked. It was dirty and minuscule. I had nothing except the leftover food they gave me each night. It was hard, and the harder things got…” Soren shrugged, incapable of voicing what had shifted inside him. The harder things had gotten, the less he had wanted to be an adult. No one had ever just let him be a fucking kid.

He moved on from the ugly parts. “The owner’s wife sawA Christmas Storyonce. She didn’t speak English well, and she thought giving animal pajamas on Christmas was an American tradition.” A smile tugged at Soren’s lips. He didn’t even see Shane across from him any longer. All he saw were the memories in his head. “She bought a very similar bunny onesie as the movie. It got ridiculously cold in my apartment, so I was grateful as hell. She took my happiness to heart and kept buying me pajamas. I was in bed one night, cozy and safe. There were no parents berating me and—for the first time—I understood freedom.” Soren shrugged. Shane’s engrossed expression cut through the memories. Soren made a dismissive gesture. “From there, one thing just led to another until I found The PlayPen. Then I found Kyson and Jupiter.” No one understood how much he loved those men for the found family they had given him. Emotion swelled in his chest. “I finally had a home.” He had to stop before he cried. Life still wasn’t perfect, but it was athousand times better than his childhood. Still, he couldn’t talk about himself anymore. It was too hard.

Shane stared at Soren. He didn’t know if Soren realized how his every thought and emotion lived on his face. His every expression gave him away. It was refreshing. It made Shane feel closer to him than he ever had to anyone. There was no subterfuge or power dynamic. Everyone else in Shane’s life was some type of boss. He answered to everyone and always would. Soren was real. He made Shane feel real too.

“Whatever the reason, you’re fucking adorable in those onesies.”

Soren blushed. His beautiful eyes danced away in his open nervousness.

Shane didn’t want that. He adored those eyes. “I make you uncomfortable. I think I went too far earlier and made you—”

Those sexy eyes focused on him without an ounce of shame. “Please don’t. Don’t apologize. I already overthink everything and if you say you regret anything, then I’ll think you didn’t mean it and then I won’t sleep from wondering if I shouldn’t go with you to the wedding.”

Shane set his hand on Soren’s, cutting off the hurried and panicked-sounding chatter. “Stop.” He linked fingers with Soren. Soren’s lips parted in surprise, but his gaze never wavered from holding Shane’s stare. Possessiveness roared inside Shane. “I don’t regret a damn thing. That wasn’t where I was going at all. In no reality am I sorry for what I did. I only meant I would never intentionally scare you. If, at any time, I go too far, tell me.” He felt the heat build inside him. Shane couldn’t imagine how his face looked as he stared at Soren. “But, yeah, I still meant what happened earlier. If you don’t tell me no, it’ll happen again.”

Soren blushed.

A hunger struck Shane with enough power to stop his lungs. Goddamn. The things he would do to this man. Soren was the perfect size. He wouldn’t break when Shane got rough. Shane’s stomach muscles clenched. And he would get rough.

A pizza appeared between them, breaking the spell. The way Soren looked regretful as they released each other’s hand gave him hope. It wouldn’t be much longer now. Soren would be in his bed. He needed it to be Soren’s move. Again, Soren was Kyson’s best friend. If Soren felt used, Shane wouldn’t be fired. He would be killed. People like him didn’t lose their jobs. He knew too much. Shane had seen too much.

Soren served them both. He did so with his bottom lip held between his teeth, as if trying to be as careful as possible.

Shane studied his every nuance. He would never understand how Soren didn’t see his beauty. Maybe it was his childhood. Never being good enough fucked with a person.

“I told you about my childhood. It’s your turn.” Soren took a bite and stared at Shane as he chewed, waiting for a response.

Shane supposed that was fair. “I grew up in Philly. We were poor, and I stayed in trouble.” The way Soren smiled at the confession kept Shane going. “I was always big, so I used my size to keep from getting teased about my cheap clothes and shoes. My parents did the best they could, but they married young and neither of them had an education. My dad worked at this company as a file clerk. He was as at the bottom as a person could get, but it was a huge company with great benefits. They paid for him to go to college for business finance. Meanwhile, Mom worked nights at this place, making baked goods to go out to all the local grocery stores each morning. So, I was always alone.”

Shane took a bite to wash down the bitterness. After he swallowed, he returned to the story. “Once Dad graduated, they transferred him to Los Angeles to a much higher paying job. We packed up and moved to the opposite coast. Mom didn’t have to work anymore, so she used her free time to go to nursing school. Things got better. They had my sister. Then, boom. Dad had a heart attack at work and didn’t even make it to the hospital.” Shane took another bite and drink to buy himself time. Those days were the worst of his life. He cleared his throat. “Mom checked out. I don’t know. She just completely shut down. I took care of my sister, hoping Mom would snap out of it. She didn’t, and she got fired from her new nursing job.” The bitterness hefelt couldn’t be held back. “I begged her to remember she had kids who needed her. We had lost Dad too. I was only sixteen. Izzie was three. We needed her. But she just went to bed one day and never got up again. Occasionally, my aunt would fly across the country, drag her from bed, and make her shower and whatnot. But she couldn’t stay, and she too thought Mom would just get up one day and go back to being a parent. Plus, I was so scared she would take us back to Philly, I put on the best fucking show you’ve ever seen. Our house was scrubbed. The fridge was stocked. I had to do some horrible shit to make that happen, but California was home to me by then. This was the place where my life had finally gotten better. Then I made a huge misstep.”

Despite everything, a smile pulled at Shane’s lips. What should have been the worst moment of his life had turned out to be his saving grace. “I tried to lift the wallet of this posh-looking guy as he left the bank. He had a shine to him I had never seen, and we live in L.A., so that’s saying a lot. His clothes were so perfectly fit, they had to be tailor made. The moment I had my fingers on his wallet, he turned fast and had me on the ground before I knew what happened to me. All I knew was I stared at the sky and the eyes of a killer. He had no soul. I had never been scared of anyone. But this guy, I saw my death in his eyes. Still, I talked shit and made threats.” Shane laughed. “I was seventeen and dumb. After a moment of staring at me wearing zero expression, the guy smiled and then laughed. He roared with laughter—like full-on threw his head back and let it go. Then, he motioned to a man nearby and said, ‘Put him in the car.’ The next thing I knew, I was snatched from the ground and on my way. Damn, I wanted to beg and say I had a sister at home who would starve if I didn’t come back. But I couldn’t because I couldn’t do anythingbut stare at the guy. I don’t know. I was transfixed. Beau Bosi is very much larger than life. He isn’t disobeyed.”

Shane shook his head. He didn’t know how to explain what it was like to be the focal point of that kind of power. “He made me the offer of a lifetime. His wife needed a keeper. The hours were reasonable. The pay was too good to be true. All I had to do was see nothing, know it was for life, and recognize I was dead if I stepped out of line. Honestly, I didn’t hear a thing after the numbers. It was way more than enough to keep the bills paid and Izzie in daycare. There was a lady who lived next door who already kept Izzie for me at night while I ran the roads to support us. I had the means to finally pay her. That held for several years until right before Banks turned nineteen. Beau informed me I had to go live with Banks full time. His son was the one who truly needed a keeper now. He needed someone to ensure he didn’t turn up dead in a back alley. Izzie was a teenager, and I couldn’t bring her to live with Banks, witnessing all the drugs and whatnot. Thankfully, she loves our aunt, and our aunt adores her. We made arrangements for Izzie to go live with her and for me to send money. I went to see her as often as I could, but I had signed my life away to Beau. It was the best I could do.”

Soren served them a second slice of pizza. “I’d say Banks would’ve likely been fine with Izzie living with you, but—like you said—I’ve seen what happens at his place… or what did happen before he fell in love with Kyson.”

Shane nodded as he ate. He would never speak badly of Banks, but yeah. There was no way in hell Shane would have had that mess around Izzie.

“What happened to your mom in all this?”

Shane had been mid-bite when the question hit. He set his slice back on the plate. His mom was always the hardest topic of his life. “At first, I tried hiring a nurse to take care of her. The person I hired said she was beyond help and needed a full-time facility. So, that’s where she sits. I don’t even go see her anymore. She’s not there. Not really.”

Sadness tinted Soren’s features. “I’m sorry.”

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