Page 11 of In Daddy's Care

Too many things weighed on him at once. There had been too many revelations in such a short time. Shane opened his mouth and words fell out. “I don’t know what in the fuck I’m doing. You have no idea how badly I wanted to snap that guy’s neck, but what right do I have? I’m not free to be with him. I can’t ask him to be a slave to the Bosi family, the way I am. Things were just so amazing between us. He taught me how to dance and we spent so much time talking and laughing. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Then, I find out too late he was a virgin, and I definitely did not treat him like one. Then he was so happy to see me, and I just had to watch while his face fell because I couldn’t let Beau notice him. But then he stopped talking to me and I didn’t know how to fix it or if I had any right to try since I have nothing to offer. Then today, he’s with fucking Bronx Lively. Goddamn it. That guy is way better than me.” His shoulders fell as the wind left his sails and there was nothing left to say.

Kyson stared at him wide-eyed.

Shane couldn’t look away.

“You think you’re a slave here?” Banks' question caught Shane off guard since he didn’t know he had returned.

Shane’s head whipped toward the kitchen doorway where Banks stood, looking like a kicked puppy. “Well, fuck. I’m just failing everyone.” He tried to explain. “It’s not you. You know I love you and living here.”

Banks made a dismissive motion, cutting off Shane’s explanations. “No. Don’t do that. I know my dad practically stole you off the street, but I thought you knew—now that you were with me—that you’re completely free. Obviously, I get your mindset. This is your home and the only safety net you have from ending up in police protection when they make you testify against us.”

“Or dead in a shallow grave,” Shane added.

“Or that,” Banks agreed as he crossed the room and handed Shane an open bottle of water. He sat next to Shane on the couch and held his stare. “I know the burden of this family, but I would never stop you from chasing happiness. Did it never occur to you that Soren spent nearly every single night here, even when he knew Kyson would be busy with me? Do you think he did that because he has nowhere else to go? No, dumbass. He did that to be with you. Do you think he has no life outside of us? Of course he does, but he chose us. Are you hearing me? He chose.” Banks’expression screamed for Shane to listen to him. “You’re not stealing his freedom. He picked you. Now it’s entirely possible you’ve completely fucked that up, but I have faith you can fix it. Please know I’m fine with you taking the time you need to do that, because seriously, dude, that whole bit about not treating him like a virgin wasn’t cool at all. But would you really be one of us if you didn’t totally wreck everything you care about at least once?”

Kyson shoved at his arm. “You should probably go now. Don’t let the Bronx guy win. That’s my best friend he’s trying to steal. I don’t want to send Banks to kill him, but I will. He can’t have Soren.”

Banks winked at Kyson, as if completely willing to do whatever his baby asked. Shane stood and set his water on the coffee table. They were right. He had to get to Soren. Shane needed to beg his forgiveness.

A soft knock landed on the door. All heads turned that way. As far as Shane knew, there was no one coming by today. Of course, Axton had been staying with them a lot. It was probably him. Shane answered on his way out.

Soren stood on the other side of the door, wearing kitty pajamas and holding an extremely nervous-looking Adan’s hand. “Hi.” He sounded just as nervous as Adan looked. “Can we come in?”

Despite his burning need to see Soren, his gaze still slid toward Adan. He had no idea how Kyson or Banks would react to Beau’s former affair partner darkening the door.

Kyson peered under his arm. “Did I hear Soren?” His gaze moved to Adan. “Oh. That’s where you went. We wondered why you weren’t sleeping in the club any longer.”

Adan’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry. If you want me to find a way to pay extra or something, I will. I just didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

Shane realized Soren and Kyson’s kindness had eclipsed all barriers… again. They just kept saving people. It hadn’t been that long since Kyson beat the shit out of Adan. Now he welcomed him with a forgiveness he didn’t deserve.

Shane moved aside, and Kyson pulled Adan into the apartment. “I thought you knew we knew. We kept leaving food for you in the employee break room fridge.”

Their conversation faded into the background as Shane stared at Soren.

“Am I allowed to come in too? It’s truly a bad sign for Adan to get invited, but not me.”

Shane came back to himself. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” He still didn’t immediately move. “Can we talk?”

A weak smile touched Soren’s lips. “That’s kind of why I came. Plus, I didn’t want Kyson to think I was keeping Adan a secret or anything. I know how Banks and he feel about him. Justifiably, of course,” he quickly added, like he expected Shane to chastise him for caring about other people.

Shane shook his head. “I don’t care about that right now.” He took Soren’s arm and pulled him inside. After closing the door, he led Soren to his bedroom. He purposely tried not to meet anyone’s gaze as they passed. Soren was likely here to tell him to go fuck himself. Shane couldn’t stand everyone witnessing his heartbreak. He closed them inside the bedroom.

Soren looked around. “It’s crazy how many times I’ve been here and I’ve never seen the inside of your bedroom.”

Shane glanced around too, seeing what Soren did. It was a big room with space for a couch and bed, giving him a little peace from working. “It’s not much, I guess. My room at Beau’s is much nicer, but it feels like a prison.” And this one felt like home. Funny how it took breaking down to recognize the truth. Banks was family. Maybe he was also Shane’s boss, but Shane would be here even if he wasn’t.

Soren flashed him a smile. “Well, you’ve seen my place, so…” He laughed.

“There’s nothing wrong with your place.” Shane hesitated. In the end, he had to start somewhere. “Except that it’s not here with me.” Shane used Soren’s open moment of shock to lead him to the couch. He tugged Soren into his lap. “You look adorable.” He toyed with the zipper on the cat pajamas. “I failed you in a lot of ways.” Shane finally met Soren’s stare. Soren looked open to listening, so Shane didn’t stop. “The other day, with Beau—”

Soren made a gesture, cutting him off. “Stop. I know. Obviously, at the time, it hurt. But after spending every night for a weektalking to Adan, and spending the past hour really thinking about things, I get it. He’s dangerous. I mean, I guess I already knew that, but I didn’t know it, you know?” He didn’t wait for Shane to respond. “Then Adan told me what it was really like being Beau’s and it sounds terrifying, so I see why you pretended I’m no one.” A hint of insecurity touched his features. “Obviously, I get I’m still not anyone, but you know what I mean.”

“I love you.”

The absolute shock etching Soren’s features made Shane putting his heart and pride on the line worth it.

He took a deep breath and then pushed on. “I can never leave here. Wherever Banks is, that’s where I have to be. That’s just reality for me. For a long time, I’ve wanted to be with you more than I want my next breath, but I know what that’s asking. How can I claim to love you and then ask you to live like me? That question has driven me crazy, because seriously, I love you. You’re more important than I am.” Shane knew Soren might have shown up today to ensure Shane knew they were done. But he couldn’t let Soren leave here without knowing how he felt. As Banks had said, it was about choice. Soren had to choose him.

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