Page 84 of All Her Broken Pieces

Blinking up at me, her pupils have returned to their normal size as she appears to be coming down from the rush of adrenaline that flooded her system. Her mouth opens and closes several times before she speaks, “How did you do that? How did you know I was having a panic attack and know what to do?”

“Lizzy has a lot of panic attacks,” I say, stroking my thumb along the apple of her cheek.

“And you researched everything about them so you could help her?”

“I did. She had them quite frequently for many years. The breathing helps her the most, and so does grounding, but since she’s nonverbal, I have to describe things for her to see, feel, smell, touch, and taste. Kind of like when I had you look at my eyes and dimple.”

“I don’t know what came over me.”

“Do you have panic attacks often?”

“Not normally, but I’ve had a few. Most of them seem to be work-related. Seeing Mark must’ve triggered it. Thinking about losing everything I’ve worked so hard for scares me. I’ve spent my entire life trying to impress men like him so I could get ahead. If he sees me here, I’ll be reduced to a sexual creature. I’ll no longer be ‘one of the guys.’ If he doesn’t respect me, I’ll have given up everything for nothing. I can’t…” Her breathing starts to pick up again.

“Shhh, just breathe,” I soothe as I move one hand behind her neck and the other around her shoulders, pulling her into me. “You’re safe with me. He’s not here. He didn’t see you,” I say softly against her skin as I hold her tightly to me.

“Why are you holding on so hard?” she asks so quietly I almost miss it.

“Sorry.” I loosen my grip on her.

She lets out a deep breath as she locks eyes with me. “I didn’t mean that. I’m a mess. You deserve so much more than this, so much more than I can give you. You deserve someone who doesn’t make you sneak around, someone who isn’t worried what others think. Why are you holding on so hard to me?”

My heart stutters in my chest as the meaning of her words sinks in. “I’m holding on so hard because everything good in my life leaves, and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My bio mom split to chase her next high because I wasn’t enough, my dad works all the time and there are too many of us fighting for his attention and I’m not enough to capture it, and while my Nonna didn’t choose to leave, she was taken away from me and nothing I did for her was enough. Every adult in my life has left me because I wasn’t enough. But with you, I feel like I’m enough. I’ve always felt like my purpose was to help others, but I’ve never felt more important than when I’m with you. If someone as beautiful and strong as you needed me? Fuck, I could do anything.”

We sit there in silence, and I hope that the weight of my confession sinks into the depths of her heart. Several minutes pass before she speaks.

“I do need you. I didn’t know how much I needed you until now, but it’s more than that, Ethan. I want you. And that terrifies me. I’ve only ever wanted one person before, and when that ended, it fucked with me.”

“I will do everything in my power to be everything you want, and I’m not going anywhere. I mean it when I say you’re it for me,” I say as I hold her face in my hands and kiss her forehead. “What do you need right now? I can go check to see if your boss is gone, and we can sneak out.”

“No, it’s fine. I just need to sit for a minute. Can you hold me?”

“I’ll always do anything you ask of me.”

We sit there in a private room of a sex club, her straddling my lap, while I hug her tightly, one hand around her waist while the other tangles in her hair at the nape of her neck. And there is nothing I’d rather be doing.

CHAPTER27

Bridget

“Sure you’reready to meet my parents?” Ethan asks.

“I’ve already met your mom, and I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she’s great. The girls are excited to meet you, and I think you’ll like my dad too. That’s assuming he even makes it. There are always a lot of plumbing emergencies around Thanksgiving. One year, he got called out on a job that kept him out most of the day. Apparently, a toddler tried to flush half the turkey down the toilet and ended up clogging it so badly they needed a plumber to snake it, which led to a bigger issue they uncovered.”

My eyes shoot to him in surprise. “Please, do tell me more about this disgusting toilet discovery while we prepare a lovely meal for your family,” I say sarcastically.

“Suffice it to say, those flushable wipes aren’t actually flushable, despite what the package may say. It was a costly repair involving digging up pipes in their front yard.”

“Lovely. What is it with you and poop?”

“I only asked you once, and it was a valid part of your post-op care.”

I can’t help the laugh that pops out of me as he darts around the island and grabs me from behind, lifting me in the air. “You enjoy fucking with me, don’t you?”

“I can think of something I enjoy more, pup.”

He sets me down and slaps my ass, leaving an impressive sting before he rubs it in soothing circles. “First we cook, then we fuck.” He reaches around me and pulls two aprons out of the drawer. He loops the strap around my neck before tying the strings around my waist and kissing my neck.

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