Page 54 of All Her Broken Pieces

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, I think my pain meds are wearing off, and I may have overdone it a little with all the gyrating. But I’m a big girl. Nothing I can’t handle.” She stands from my lap, her words seeming to hold another meaning.

Before I can overthink my actions, my hand clasps her wrist. “Please don’t pull away, please don’t shut me out. Let me be here for you.”

“Okay.” Her voice is small, and her eyes won’t meet mine, but it’s a start.

“I’ll grab your ibuprofen. Why don’t you head back to your bedroom and lie down?”

“Does this mean you’re going to stay the whole six weeks?”

“I did complete the dare, didn’t I?”

“Good” is all she says as she turns down the hallway toward her bedroom. I can’t help the smile that stretches across my face.

CHAPTER17

Bridget

Over the next few days,Ethan stays no matter how hard I try to kick him out. And I try. Nothing deters this man, and I can’t decide if it’s annoying or endearing. He’s constantly underfoot. I’ve never felt like my apartment was small before, but now he’s everywhere I turn, his presence larger than life. It’s like I can’t escape him or his twenty-two-year-old energy. Seriously, how does he have so much energy all the time? I must have been high off that orgasm when I agreed to let him stay.

I’ve never lived with anyone aside from my parents and a roommate my freshman year of college, and even then I spent so much time in the library and in study groups around campus, I never really felt like I lived with anyone. Hell, I don’t even remember her name. As soon as possible, I moved off-campus into an apartment on my own and have lived that way ever since.

So, having Ethan here every day for the past week has been… a lot. I mean, it hasn’t been terrible having someone take care of my laundry and heavy lifting, while handing me coffee every morning. And he has my ice idiosyncrasies down pat.

It’s harder to remain Ethan’s friend when, for the first time in my adult life, I think I want more from a man. But I’m not sure if it’s actually him that I want, or if it’s the forced proximity that’s making him seem more attractive. I’m not saying I want to be in a serious relationship with him today, but if I’m going to do more than fuck someone for the first time in over eighteen years, he could be a good candidate. Letting someone in is scary, though. But carrying all this baggage is so fucking exhausting too.

We’re compatible physically, but is he someone I can trust with my heart? And does he want the same things I do? I’m not about to let someone in only to find out they want different things out of life. It’s a risk I’m not willing to take. I need to look out for myself, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that no one will ever put me first, so I have to.

But isn’t that exactly what Ethan’s been doing for the past week? Putting me first? It seems to come naturally to him. How long will it really last? Sure, we’re in a post-op bubble now, but once we go back to our normal lives, he’s sure to move on.

To someone younger.

To someone with more free time.

To someone who can give him more than I can.

It’s early evening, we’re watching something mindless and bingeable on a streaming service. I’m reclining on the couch, propped up by pillows, while he sits across from me on the loveseat.

“You mentioned something to Nurse Maggie that surprised me, and I wanted to know more about it.”

“Okaaay,” I draw out, confused about what he could be referring to since it’s been a week since I’ve had surgery, and his question seems to come out of nowhere.

“Did you mean what you said before you were discharged? About not wanting to have kids?”

He’s been sitting on this for a week? Unsure where he’s going with this, I look into his emerald-green eyes. Is he disappointed? Do I want him to be? Does he think I’ll change my mind? Regardless of his answer now, will he change his mind?

“I meant it. Having kids isn’t something I’ve pictured in my future. Especially now that I only have one working ovary. I’m thirty-eight years old. If I wanted kids, I should’ve started before now. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t have a lot of people in my life. No support system to help me raise a family. And I’m not sure I’m capable of taking care of another person when some days I feel like I’m barely holding it together. But I think it’s good for us to get this out in the open now so you can move on from this and find someone that wants to make a family with you.”

“You make a lot of assumptions about me based on my age. You know that?”

“You’ll want kids, Ethan. You’re young. You have so many years ahead of you to find someone your age that can give you the family you’re going to want. Even if you don’t want it now, there’s plenty of time for you to change your mind.”

“Didyouchange your mind?”

My brows knit together as the realization hits that my argument is falling apart. “No, I didn’t.”

“For someone who recently went off on a nurse for assuming she’d want kids, you sure are doing the same thing to me because of my age.”

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