Page 42 of Refuge for Flora

“I haven’t either.”

“Then I’m not really too worried about it.”

“Are you on the pill?” She shook her head. “Are you worried about that?”

“No.”

“I’m not either.” That struck him as just a little odd, being unworried about something like that, but for some reason, it didn’t seem important. “Okay then. We know where we stand. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes. Take the bathroom and do what you’ve gotta do.” He was still laughing as he left the bedroom.

But once his feet hit the tile floor, every wrong thought in his head began to surface. Why was he doing this? Was it really what he wanted? Or was it just to scratch an itch? Flora didn’t deserve that, to be somebody’s bandage, to be peeled off and cast away when their heart healed. He needed to know that she was okay, that she understood how broken he was. Didn’t he at least owe her that? Did he owe her anything? Was she using him like he was using her? Orwashe using her?

The hallway was dark as he exited the bathroom, and the bedroom appeared to be. But when he drew closer, he could see something?the flicker of a candle. She’d found his lighter. Lying there in his bed, her hair fanned out over the pillow, she looked like some kind of ethereal apparition come to lie on his discount store sheets, and touching her seemed imperative. If he was dreaming and he woke, she’d be gone, but if he touched her, she’d be real. She was lying on her side, her back to him, and in her hand she held one of the photos from his nightstand. It was of him, his parents, and his sister, and it was on his sixteenth birthday. The room was silent, but somehow she sensed him there and turned. As soon as her eyes found his, she smiled.

Something in that sweet, uncomplicated expression sent a flood of memories into his mind, memories of what it was like to be loved?no, cherished?and he came to a realization years in the making. Jessica had never felt that way about him. She had never cherished him, never longed for him. Her lips moved, but he didn’t hear her. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Is this you? It looks like you.”

“Uh, yeah. That was on my birthday. My folks and my sister.”

“Pretty family. And you were a cute kid.” Something in the way she spoke the words told him she was somehow jealous. What she’d told him about her family hadn’t made them sound like people he’d want to know. Did they care even the tiniest bit about her?

“Thanks.” He wasn’t sure if she was undressed under the sheet, so he slipped off his boxer briefs and slid into the bed beside her. He’d wondered if she’d reach for him, but she didn’t. Those bright eyes just stayed right where they were, fixed on him, waiting.

Remembering to keep his hands soft and gentle wasn’t easy. Everything inside him wanted to push, to hurry, to reach that pinnacle. A flush spread across her chest as his hand palmed one breast, his thumb brushing back and forth across an already-hardened nipple to hear her moan. “Flora, I’m not playing with you.” When he caught her gaze, she seemed puzzled. “I mean, I don’t sleep around. This isn’t some game for me.”

“I’m glad. I don’t think I could survive that.”

That was the moment that Barrett realized the step he was about to take came with a huge responsibility. The woman in the bed with him had been used and abused and mistreated. She didn’t deserve that from anyone, and especially not someone who knew what she’d been through. But the trust in those eyes was overwhelming, and he found himself wanting to be that man, the one who sheltered her, who held her, who protected her, who offered her a refuge from the storms of life. The rock she could cling to. The rope she could tie around her to haul her back to safety. He wanted to be that man, the one who pulled her from the icy, choppy waters, wrapped her in a warm blanket, and took her to shore. He wanted to take it slow, but he just… couldn’t. She needed him, and he needed her just as much. “We’ll make it if we just stick together.”

There was that sweet, shy little smile he’d seen before. “Can you forget about the cheap, trashy, filthy thing that I am? I mean, you’re a nice guy, and you’ve got a good job, and I don’t even have a home, just living with Mrs.Murphy, and?”

He pressed a finger to her lips to quiet her. “There are a lot of things you are, but cheap, trashy, and filthy? None of those. And don’t say you don’t have a home. If I’m anywhere near, you’llalwayshave a home. You’ve come home, Flora. I know you don’t know much about this area and you haven’t seen a lot of it, but these people, they’ll be here for you and help you. And as long as you want me, I’ll never be far away.”

“I’ll always want you,” she whispered, and a tear rolled from the outside corner of her eye into the hair at her temple.

For the first time in three years, Barrett let himselffeel. He felt her hands on his shoulders, on his back, wrapped around his ribcage. He felt her eyelashes brush his cheek and her lips brush the side of his neck. The warmth and softness of her body clung to him, and he wanted more than anything to never turn loose of her. He only fumbled with the condom for a few seconds, and then he froze. Regardless of what she said about herself, he saw her as unspoiled, unsullied, a woman who’d never been loved, just used. He never,neverwanted her to feel that way again. As he sank his hardness into her, he watched her face, the way she bit her lip, and felt the sharpness of her nails as she gripped his biceps.

But when he reached down between their bodies and began to stroke, he watched her belly tense and her back arch. Her hands left his shoulders and pressed palms-first into the headboard. She made noises, sweet, sexy little noises, and they turned him on in ways he’d never known before. “Barrett, Barrett, oh… Barrett, god, what… Yeah, just like that. You know what you’re doing, don’t you?”

“I like to think so,” he whispered to her and nipped the side of her neck. All it took was a pinch of her nipple from his free hand and she rocked into her climax, a low, guttural groan coming from deep in her throat. “That’s it. Yeah. Damn, you feel so good around me, babe.” His finger stopped stroking her and she smiled. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “Yeah.” He planted a hand on the mattress on either side of her shoulders, and she gripped his forearms. “Yeah. Please?”

Her hips rose with his every stroke, and he was in heaven. Jessica had been only mildly interested, but this woman was excitingly enthusiastic. She wanted him, and her every movement was intended to show him how much she wanted him. To be with a woman who reallywantedto be with him that way was priceless for Barrett. She could never understand what it meant to him.

He needed it to last longer, a lot longer, but he’d been too long without and his body wanted it more than he did. All he really wanted was for her to come again, and with a little encouragement, she got there. But it pushed him over the edge, and he was done, that little sheath of latex filled to bursting. He lowered his weight onto her and wrapped his arms around her, his hands wandering downward and cupping her ass. She shuddered as his lips moved against the side of her neck and he whispered, “Mine.”

“Barrett?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I feel like I’m suffocating.”

“Oh. Sorry.” He rolled off, but she rolled with him, and they stilled with her in his arms. “Better?”

“Much. That was… No man has ever made me feel that way. It almost felt like you lo… care about me.”

“I do. I can’t say those three little words yet, and I don’t expect you to either. But I want to, and I want it to be with you.”

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