Page 40 of Justice for JoElla

That time when he took her hand, she didn’t pull away. She didn’t grasp his hand, but she didn’t snatch hers back. She just sat there for a little while longer, tears coursing down her cheeks, until she finally said, “You should go. Run. I’m a mess. Nobody needs to be around me. I’m no good for anybody.”

Brandon shook his head, and he was surprised to feel tears pooling in his lower lids. “That’s not true, sweetheart. Not at all. I just think you’ve had so many people walk away or disappear that you anticipate it, and you won’t let anybody in.”

“Oh, and you want in? Really? You sure about that?” He could hear it all in her voice?skepticism, disbelief, fear, anger, even hilarity that someone would actually think they wanted to be close to her. It was as though a huge, red bubble of anger and pain surrounded her, pushing against anyone who had the courage or stupidity to try to penetrate it.

A tiny voice spoke in Brandon’s head:This is it. You’ve got to make a decision right this minute. It has to be the right one. And if you make the wrong one, you’ve got to be willing to see it through, regardless the personal cost. Are you man enough for that, BrandonFox?

He couldn’t tell if he was answering her or the voice in his head when he said, “Yes. I’m positive.” Maybe it was both. He instantly wondered how many people had said that to her and then backed away when the going got tough.

Brandon thought about medical school. It had been brutal. The long hours studying, the clinicals, the residencies, years and years of preparation. His buddies had wanted to be internists or specialists. His intention had been surgery, but general surgery. He wanted to work in a hospital where he’d see a variety of procedures but, more importantly, never form long-term relationships with patients, so he threw himself into the concept and kept going with his eyes on the prize.

Once he’d finished all of that, along came the board exams?brutal indeed. After that, decisions had to be made. Was he going to stay there? Go off to a bigger city? It was for damn sure a hospital in Louisville would want him, but did he want that? Not really. His reasoning was simple. In Louisville, he’d be one of many surgeons. But in Taylorsville, he’d be one of the elite. That was what he’d thought he wanted, and he had, at least for quite some while.

The one thing he hadn’t done was form strong relationships, not even with his wife and kids. That was one of the things he respected about his brother. Landon loved people, and he loved helping people. When he made a promise to someone, he kept it. When he told someone he loved them, he showed it. And it had been easy to fool around on Maria, because he knew if he ever lost his job, she’d be gone. She was in it for the money. She’d made no bones about it, and he’d been under no delusion. It hit him like a coal train:Maybe this was what I was looking for all along.Could that be? Only one way to find out.

He rose and sat back down beside her. Even through their conversation and her turmoil, the butterflies were still there?not all of them, but quite a few of them. He didn’t make any attempt to touch her, just sat there and waited. The energy between them was odd, and Brandon didn’t know what to do or say. He was about to try to piece something together when she finally spoke. “I don’t know how to let you in. I don’t know how to let anybody in.”

“I get it. I do. So let’s do this. Let’s just spend as much time together as we can.”

“And I guess we’ll have to do that at my place, since you’re staying at your brother’s.”

Brandon shook his head. “No. There’s one thing I know without even having to ask. If you want to come to Landon and Jerrica’s with me, you’ll be more than welcome there. Everyone is welcome at their house, and they’d be glad to see you. Honestly, if we happened to be there and you or I did a load of laundry, Jerrica would be thrilled. Landon too. They’re both trying to work and take care of a little one, and Liella told me Jerrica showed up to pick her up one day looking like a bag lady from the homeless camp. It’ll get easier when Sim gets older, but right now, they’re both running on fumes.” She didn’t respond, so Brandon forged on. “And I’d like to take you to meet family. Not my parents. God knows I’m not takinganybodythere.”

“Why? Because you’d be ashamed of me?”

Brandon rolled his eyes. “Oh, hell no, nothing close to that, babe. You’d have to know how they treated Jerrica and Breckin.” When she cut her eyes toward him, he added, “Liella’s fiancée. They were horrible to him.”

Her eyebrows arched. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah. First, they didn’t like that he was a firefighter like Landon. They gave him hell over that, and then they were pissed that Liella would?I think the term Mom used was ‘get herself attached’?to ‘somebody like that,’ meaning somebody who had a dangerous job. There was almost a war at the table and Breckin came back at them with both guns blazing. Oh, and Dad kept asking the same question over and over until Breckin had to answer it, even though Liella begged him to stop.”

“Question? What question?”

“They asked him about his parents, and he said he never knew his dad. My dad kept asking over and over how that could be until he finally spit it out. His mother was raped when she was a teenager, and that’s how he came to be.”

“Oh my god!”

“Yeah, but he’s cool with it. Says he’s absolutely not ashamed of who he is, and he sure as hell shouldn’t be, because he’s one of the finest people I’ve ever met. I’ve met his mom and his stepdad too. She’s an amazing lady, and his stepdad is just a couple of years older than him. He and Iris met because of Breckin. He and Jason played softball together, and Breckin introduced them. That man’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to Liella. The guy is stone-cold in love with her and everybody can see it, especially her. But that’s why I wouldn’t take you to my parents’ house. Nobody should be treated the way they’ve treated Breckin and Jerrica.”

“Then who were you talking about?”

“Jerrica’s parents, the Ligons, have kinda adopted me. Most of the time when Landon and Jerrica are going over there, I’m invited if I’m not working. They’re such great people. Their house is the same as Landon and Jerrica’s?you walk through the door, you’re automatically family. I’d love for you to meet them, and I know they’d love to meet you.”

“Huh.” She sat there for a few seconds, then lifted her hand closer to her face. On the back of it sat a blue butterfly, and when she had him even with her eyes, he walked toward her face, not away, then sat there facing her, unmoving except for the slow up and down motion of its wings.

Brandon didn’t want to spoil the moment, but he would’ve loved to snap a picture of her and the butterfly. Instead, he sat and watched, trying hard to commit the scene to memory. When he thought of her, that was the JoElla he wanted to remember, the quiet, gentle one who communed with butterflies in the afternoon sunshine. Her tears had stopped, but her eyes were closed, and he thought about how peaceful she’d looked that morning before she hit him in the head and all but levied a curse on him. He was enjoying the moment, relaxing and taking it all in, when his phone rang. JoElla’s head instantly whipped around and she gave him the stink eye, but he simply smiled at her. “Landon. I should probably make sure everything’s okay. Hey, brother.”

“Hi. Where are you?”

“In the great outdoors, enjoying fresh air and sunshine.”

“Are you alone?”

Brandon hesitated before he answered. “What is this, the Inquisition?”

“No. Change of plans. I was wondering if you were coming to the house for dinner. Jerrica’s family is coming over here instead of us going to their house, and I’m firing up the grill, but I didn’t know how much to cook.”

“So if I wanted to, could I…” He didn’t know how to ask without JoElla’s glare becoming a full-blown storm.

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