Page 58 of Shelter for Martina

Riley, Maeve, and Janine had been there all day working in the kitchen. Every time Martina tried to help, they ran her off. “I can’t even help with dinner.”

“It’s supposed to be your welcome home celebration. You’re not supposed to cook it,” Bud pointed out. He hadn’t had the heart to tell her that all her family was leaving the next day. They’d promised they’d be back for the funeral, but he wasn’t sure they’d get to come.

The guys all came in dragging the kids with them, and even Darnell had come and brought his and Renita’s girls. It was a lovely afternoon as everyone ate and laughed and talked. Bud watched Martina and he didn’t think he’d ever seen her happier. The womenfolk insisted on staying until everything was put away and the kitchen was cleaned up. By the time all was said and done and everyone had said their goodbyes, it was almost ten and Bud was exhausted. He knew Martina had to be tired too.

They got ready for bed and snuggled down, his arms around her and her cheek on his chest. They’d only been lying there for a few minutes when she tipped her head up and kissed him. It wasn’t the kiss that surprised him—it was the neediness of it, the pure hunger coming from her lips, that was a shock to his system. “Babe,” he whispered, pushing her back, “are you sure you’re up to this?”

“I need you, Albert. Am I too ugly for you?”

“Dear god no! I’ve told you that a million times! I just don’t want to hurt you, little girl, that’s all.”

Her voice was deep and throaty when she said, “AlbertMarlon Griffin, I’m not made of glass.”

The woman he made love to that night was the one he wanted to make love to every night for the rest of his life. Gripping her ass with his hands, he hunched into her, loving the feel of their bellies pressed together. “God, I love you, Martina,” he whispered to her, rubbing his cheek against the downy softness of her shorn hair.

“I love you too, Albert. More, baby, please?”

He gave her more. He gave her all he had. He always would. He’d always give her everything he could. There wasn’t a soul on the face of the earth he loved more than Martina. And he knew she loved him too.

* * *

They’d decidedto use the community center, and it was bursting at the seams. The funeral director had made it happen, and Bud had to give it to the guy, he’d done a great job. There were flowers everywhere, all kinds of flowers, even though Martina had asked that expressions of sympathy take the form of donations to a local crime victims’ charity.

He kept an eye out. The family was all up front, with Martina sitting on a stool near the casket, and they were greeting friends and community members as folks came to pay their respects. When he looked up and saw Marty, he made a beeline to the back. The younger man plastered himself to the wall, a look of alarm on his face, and when Bud reached him, he held up his hands. “Please, sir,” he whispered, “I don’ mean no harm. I jus’ wanted to come say how sorry I am.”

“Put your hands down, Marty. Nobody here is mad at you. It’s okay. Would you like to go talk to Martina?”

Marty glanced around. “Darnell’s up there.”

“I think he’ll be okay with it. Let me go ask him, all right? Stay here.” To Bud’s surprise, he didn’t have to cajole Darnell—Renita’s widower was fine with Marty being there. When he returned to the young man, he said, “Darnell says it’s okay. Come on.” Bud led the way and when Marty reached the front, he could barely look Martina in the eye.

Her voice was soft and welcoming. “Marty?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He stepped a little closer. “Ma’am, I’m sorry ‘bout Renita. I didn’ hurt her, I swear.”

“I know. Thank you for helping find her and bring her home. I appreciate it.”

“I jus’ wish I’d ‘membered sooner, ya know? I mean, it wouldn’t-a changed nothin’, but at least it woulda been faster. That weren’t right, for her to be missin’ like that.”

“It’s okay. She’s here now. And I’m sorry for some of the things I said to you.”

“No, ma’am. I deserved ever last one of ‘em. I been a bad person all this time, but I’m-a tellin’ ya, I’m gonna do better, I swear. This here done made me want to be a better person. An’ I’m sorry ‘bout my daddy. He was a very bad person, an’ I didn’ realize it ‘til it was too late. But he’s gone now, an’ he won’ be hurtin’ nobody ever again.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Marty. Even if he was a bad person, he was your daddy.”

“I didn’ know ‘bout him for all them years. It’s not like I’m-a gonna miss him a lot now. It’s okay, but thank you.” He turned slightly. “Darnell, man, I—”

“Let it go, Marty. I’m not gonna be your best friend, but I don’t wish you any harm. I just wish you peace.”

“Thank you. You’s a bigger man than me, man. I mean it. I respec you, I do. I hope you have a good life. I’m sorry your wife is gone. She was ‘bout the only friend I ever had.”

“Thanks. You’re welcome to stay here for the service.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much. I just wanted to pay my respecs. At’s all. I’ll leave y’all alone. Peace to ya.” Marty took about three steps backward, his face blood red, then wheeled and headed for the back. Watching him go, Bud saw someone else he needed to speak with, and he followed Marty’s path and stepped out into the foyer.

The young trooper there stepped back, but Bud was right in his face. “It’s okay for you to be here. Nobody blames you, Eldred,” Bud whispered.

“I feel like such a damn fool, Bud. Such a damn fool! Mrs.Anderson wouldn’t have gotten hurt if I hadn’t been talking out of school. I was an idiot. I can’t believe—”

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