Page 43 of Shelter for Sharla

WildaFern tipped her head and frowned. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry! I hope you’re doing okay.”

“Yes, ma’am, thank you. I am, thanks to this wonderful son of yours. You sure did a good job raising him.”

Oh my god, she’s going to send me to a commune and keep you!Carter was trying not to laugh. Boy, Sharla was pouring it on thick and his mother was lapping it up! He almost laughed out loud when WildaFern said, “Well, I did my best.”

The smile Sharla gave his mother was a mile wide. “You did good. Would you care for something to drink?”

“Um, no thanks. It never occurred to me that you might… What I meant was… If I’d known…” WildaFern fumbled for words, which made it even harder for Carter to keep a straight face.

He couldn’t help it?he had to poke the bear. “So is there enough for two, Mom? Because if not, I’m going to have to find something else for us to eat.”

“Oh, yes. I brought enough for you to eat for a couple of days, so there should be plenty. I’m sure glad I did this. You’ll enjoy it.” She stood there for a few seconds as though she didn’t know what to do before she said, “Well, okay, I’ll be going now. Y’all have a pleasant evening.”

“It was nice to meet you, Mrs.Melton.”

“Nice to meet you too, dear. Carter, honey, will you walk me out?”

“Sure, Mom.”Oh, hell. Here we go with the third degree, Carter’s inner child groused.

They’d no more than made it out the door before the questions started. “So, how did you two meet?”

“Through work.” That was a good-enough answer.

“And what does she do for a living?”

“She’s a respiratory therapist in Hopkinsville.”

“Oh!” She seemed genuinely surprised he hadn’t said she was an exotic dancer or prostitute or something, or at least that’s what Carter imagined. “So, is she divorced or widowed?”

“Divorced. For a long, long time.”

“Oh.”

It would be nice if she’d just stop there, but there’s no way she’s going to do that, Carter told himself, and he was right.

“Son, do you have protection?”

It took everything Carter had not to roll his eyes. “Mom, I’m forty-two years old. If I don’t know how to take care of myself by now, I never will.”

“Well, you can’t be too safe, you know.”

“Yes. I’m aware. But I need to get in here and eat before it gets cold, right? That’s what you always say, isn’t it?”

“Well, um, yes, it is. Okay. So I’ll be going now. But I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay, Mom. Thanks so much for the food. I know we’ll enjoy it. Bye.” He backed away, waving, and hoped she’d take the hint. Sure enough, she climbed into her car, waved, and drove away. Carter practically ran to the house and slammed the door closed behind himself. “Oh my god.”

Sharla stood in the kitchen doorway, laughing hysterically. “Okay, that was the most entertaining thing I’ve seen in a long, long time! She’s a hoot!”

“When we got outside, she asked me if I had protection.”

Sharla doubled over. “She did not! Oh my god, I can’t breathe!”

“I know, right?”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her I’m forty-two years old and if I can’t take care of myself by now, there’s no hope.”

---