Page 34 of Shelter for Sharla

The ride to the funeral home was painful. Carter could tell no one really felt like talking. Several times he glanced over at Sharla, but she was staring out the window, not looking toward him, and he couldn’t catch her eye. Family visitation was at noon, and they made it there with three minutes to spare.

As soon as they pulled up in the parking lot, Carter turned to them. “I will be here partially because you all asked me to be and partially as a professional. I won’t be sitting with you; I’ll be standing in the back to one side, keeping an eye out. If there’s a problem, I want to catch it fast.”

Sharla’s eyes popped open wide. “You don’t really think there’ll be a problem, do you?”

All Carter could do was shrug. “There are nut jobs everywhere. If one of them decides to target the funeral, I want somebody to take them down fast. I know people are upset that a trooper has been killed, but I’m hoping everyone understands that this service is for you guys, not Tamara. I talked to SheriffDowd and he’s going to have a few guys around. But there’s something else I need to talk to you about, so pay attention.” When Chelsea and Lionel’s eyes found his, he continued. “If you see anything, and I meananything, that doesn’t look right, anybody you think shouldn’t be there or anybody or anything that stands out in your mind, I need you to tell somebody. One of the officers. I mean it. Don’t hesitate.”Should I? Yep. I think it’s time, he told himself. “We think Tamara was intentionally drugged.”

“I knew it!” Lionel shouted.

“If that’s the case, the old saying that the perpetrator always comes back to the scene of the crime, well, it’s not always true, but it is a lot of times. It’s possible somebody might show up that would need to be talked to, and I don’t want them to slip away. Got it?”

“Yes, sir. I’ll keep an eye out,” Chelsea assured him.

“We all will. Right, Lionel?” Sharla added.

“Yes. I will.”

Carter gave them an affirmative nod. “Good. Let’s go.”

He hung back appropriately inside while the three of them were led into the small chapel by the funeral director. The sounds of Chelsea and Sharla crying were heart-piercing to him, and he listened carefully for Lionel’s grief, but he heard nothing from the boy. They’d been in the chapel for about fifteen minutes when he heard footsteps and saw Lionel come pounding through the doors. “Lionel! Wait up!” The boy glanced back at him and rounded a corner, so Carter picked up the pace to catch up.

He caught Lionel just as the young man reached the back door. “Leave me alone!” he barked back.

“Lionel! Wait! Let’s talk, okay?” They both stopped just outside the door, Lionel’s back still turned to Carter. “Look, I know this is hard. It’s gotta be. Losing somebody is never easy. But Chelsea and Sharla need you, and you need them. Please go back inside with them. It’ll be easier on everybody if the three of you stick together.”

“I can’t go back in there!” Lionel screamed. “I can’t do it! If I do, I’ll, I’ll…” That was the tipping point, and Carter couldn’t miss the silent sob that shook Lionel’s shoulders.

He didn’t reach to touch the younger man, just stood there nearby. “It’s okay to cry, son. When my dad died, I cried for days?I mean,days?and I didn’t think I’d ever stop.”

“Yeah, well, how old were you? Eight?”

“Nope. Thirty-two. I didn’t have any brothers or sisters, so my dad and I were really close?my mom and I are too. I miss him every day.”

“I never even knew my dad,” the boy said, his head bowed.

“I know. But that’s okay. You knew Tamara. You, Tamara, and Chelsea?you were sisters and brother. You’ve still got Chelsea, and she needs you, Lionel. Sharla does too. She’s the closest thing to a mother you’ve got, and from what I can tell, a damn good one too.”

“She is. She loves me and Tam. I knew that from the very start.”

“Then go back in and crywiththem. It’ll be good for all of you to share that. Hell, sometimes I go to my mom’s and we start talking about Dad and webothstart crying. And it’s okay. There’s no shame in it, and there’s no weakness there. Everybody has emotions, son. It’s okay to let them out, especially with people who love you and feel the same way you do.”

Lionel stood there for a full minute, not moving, and Carter wasn’t sure if he’d gotten through to the kid or not. Finally, he turned, his face slick with tears. “Thank you, SheriffMelton. Thanks for doing this for us.”

“You’re welcome, and call me Carter. That’s my name, and I don’t mind a bit. And if you need somebody to talk to, Lionel, a guy for, you know, guy stuff, my door is always open to you. Anytime. Not kidding. Always.”

“Thanks.” Lionel stood motionless for a few seconds before he said, “Guess I’d better get back in there.” Carter held the door for him and waited until he entered, then followed him silently back to the door of the chapel.

There was still no one except Sharla and Chelsea inside when Lionel returned, and Carter realized they reallywerealone. They had no other family, just the three of them. When Lionel rejoined them, Sharla turned and motioned for Carter to come to her.

“You okay?” he asked as he neared her.

“Yeah. I thought maybe you’d want to come see her.” Carter balked, but Sharla took his hand. “It’s okay, Carter, really. I think she’d want you to be here just like we do.” He still didn’t want to step up to the casket, but he let Sharla lead him.

He’d seen her in the morgue, but there she’d just seemed like an object, something that someone was poking and prodding, something that was providing information for them. But there in the casket, dressed in a pale pink dress, hair and makeup done, she looked like a sleeping princess, her full lips blush pink and her hands resting lightly on her stomach. A pain shot through his chest as he took in her youth, cut short so unfairly, and he found his eyes starting to go blurry. “She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?”

“She does. She really does.” Carter stood there, overwhelmed with emotion, and finally stammered out, “Sharla, if there’d been any other way, if we’d had any other option, I promise you, we didn’t want to?”

She pressed a slim finger to his lips to quiet him. “Shhhhh. We know that. You were doing what you had to do to survive. I don’t know if she would’ve shot another one of you, but she’d already shot one, and you couldn’t take that risk. Nobody blames you. Nobody. But I know you saw her out there in the weeds and stuff that night, in the dark, and in the morgue, and I wanted you to get a chance to see what a beautiful young woman she was.”

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