“Did someone do this to him?” I glance down at him.
“Yes.” He scoffs. “His friend. Dad was trying to do the right thing. And his friend, in a fit of rage, set my father’s study on fire. He locked us in the room across the way. He probably figured the fire would kill us all. It almost did.”
“How did you get out?”
“Mom.” He runs a hand over his hair. “Her leg shattered in two different places, but she got us out.” He lets out a dark laugh. “I was an idiot. I ran back to save Dad. That’s when the fire got me. If I hadn’t, mom’s leg would’ve healed properly. But because of me, she had to limp back to get me. I hate that I did that to her. That because of me, her dancing career ended.”
“You can’t put that on yourself. You were just a kid.” I cup his cheek. “I’m sure all Freya cares about is that you survived.”
“She’s mentioned that.”
“Where is he now? The man who did this? Is he in jail still?” I’m angry on his behalf. Archer is right. No one should have to pay for a man’s greed. Jesus, what kind of monster would do this to another human being? And worst, to a child? “Someone who can do something as atrocious as this doesn’t deserve to live.”
“No,” he says through gritted teeth. “He deserves to live a long and painful life. He deserves to lose it all.”
“Do you mean that man is still at large? No one called the police?” I can’t imagine someone getting away with something as big as this.
I glance around Archer’s dad’s old study and the devastation that man left behind. How is this not evidence enough to put someone in jail for murder?
“This man has a lot of influence.” He peers up at me. “And he had too much to lose. Mom only had moments to decide. She knew she had to get us to safety. She exchanged justice for my life.”
“That’s terrible. Is that why you keep this room like this? To remind you that justice hasn’t been served.”
“Exactly.” He puffs out a breath. “Do you understand now? Until I have delivered this man to my mother, I can’t have peace. Once I’m with done with him, I will be no better than him. And you’re going to finally see me for what I truly am, a monster.”
“Don’t say that. You’re not the monster here. He is. He deserves whatever you have in store for him.” I bend down to kiss the top of his head, running my hands down his bare back.
“You say that now.” He braces his arms on his knees, giving me access to all of him.
I trace my finger over his scars. What does it mean that he’s letting me touch him like this now? If this room in chaos is a reminder of what’s truly important, a reminder of how his father died, and that his killer was never brought to justice, I can only assume his scars are his daily torment. I can’t imagine living with the knowledge that the person who took everything from you is still out there, possibly living a happy life they don’t deserve.
“Ask me.” He braces his hands on my hips, looking up at me, his eyes wet.
“Hmm? Ask you what?” I touch the stubble on his cheek.
“Ask me to send it all to hell. To forget about this revenge that has consumed me for decades. For you—” His eyes soften as he searches my face. “I never considered the idea of letting go before. Not until you came along. For you, I think I could forget.”
“I cannot ask you to do that. It’s too cruel. You deserve peace. How can you have peace when your father’s killer is still out there.” My lip trembles. It cuts me to know that he’s had to carry this in his heart for so long.
“You are my peace. You’re the only world I need.” He presses his lips to my stomach. “Ask me.”
I shake my head. “You’ll hate me for it.”
“You want me to love you. But now you see why I can’t. I’m broken, Paloma.” He rises to his feet. “Even after all of this is finished, I’ll still be broken.”
“I don’t care.” I wrap my arms around his waist. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He studies my features for several beats. After a while, he says, “I want to show you something.”
“Okay.”
He takes my hand and leads me out of his father’s old study. He seems more at ease now that he’s told me about his past. But I’m still in shock from everything he said. All I can do for him is be here and show him every day that there’s a life beyond the pain he’s already suffered. I want to believe that we do have a chance at being happy together.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask as my gaze roams the planes on his wide back. “And why are you shirtless?”
“I was downstairs doing a quick workout before my meeting at ten.” He takes the steps down to the second level, then stops at a set of tall double doors. “The guys have been working long hours trying to finish this room. A new library to replace the bad memories.” He pulls on both knobs and lets the doors swing open.
“This is incredible.” My jaw drops as I step into the fully renovated three-story library.