Page 46 of Falling for the Enemy

He crossed his arms trying to look in control, but it was more defensive. “I don’t know it at all.”

“I’ll lay it out for you then. We work at the same university. That should be an obvious one, I think.” I was talking loudly and fast, and I swung my arm around. I was starting to feel myself fall apart, and I didn’t want that. I took a deep breath and looked straight at him, which only made my chest ache and feelings of regret worse. I couldn’t tell which I regretted more—the kiss or allowing myself to have feelings for the man. “I have no idea where I’ll be in a year because frankly the campus walls are slowly closing in on me.”

Jack glanced around. “Yes, who’d want to give up a terrific adventure like this?”

“See, there’s another thing. There’s no way I’m going to give my heart over to someone who clearly sees me standing here upset and responds with flippant, curt remarks.”

Jack dropped his arms and looked contrite. A rarity for him. “You’ll have to excuse my instinctual coping mechanism. It’s always in overdrive when you’re around. I haven’t figured out how to behave with you because you are the most frustrating, complicated, annoying and, at the same time, amazing woman I’ve ever met. And let me remind you thatyoukissedme.”

“You kissed back.” The only lame retort I could think of.

“Well, that’s because I’m human.”

“It was a mistake. Forget it ever happened.” I felt inexplicably on the verge of tears, but I fought hard to keep them back.

“Let me tell you something that I think you need to hear, Professor Lovely.”

This time I crossed my arms, and it was definitely defensive. I was protecting myself from whatever he was about to say because for some damn reason whatever the man said really mattered to me. As much as I liked to think they hadn’t, the months of sharp scowls and anger had dug into my soul.

“A woman can be drop-dead gorgeous, outstanding in her field, loved and admired by everyone and still have major flaws.”

I flinched at his words. “Well, then good for me. I’m none of those things, but I own up to the fact that I have plenty of flaws.”

“You’re all of those things, but you don’t see this one flaw. Or maybe you know it’s there, but you choose to ignore it. You’re afraid to give your heart to anyone. You’re so concerned about being fiercely independent that you won’t allow yourself to be with someone. Zach told me you’d left a string of broken hearts in your path around the world.”

“In other words, you formed your entire opinion about me based on what Zach said. Zach is a jerk, and he chews with his mouth open.”

Jack took a step closer. “Maybe this time you’re worried there’s more to it than you expected.”

My reaction to his words hit hard. It was time for my own coping mechanism to go into overdrive. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

He flinched at my response, and his jaw tightened. He was back. The Jack I knew from work. I’d hurt him and I regretted my comment. The truth was this time did feel different, and that was what had me more than a little freaked out.

“Fine, Lo, when we get back to the university, we go back to the way we were, only I won’t waste a second being angry or upset or anything at all. We’ll be neutral and act as if the other person doesn’t exist. This whole trip will be erased from our memories. We don’t even have to acknowledge each other in the hallway. You’re invisible to me, and I’m invisible to you. Does that work?”

I could feel the tears again, but there was no way I’d let him see them. “That’s fine.” I walked away quickly because I could no longer hold them back.

Chapter Thirty

JACK

Itossed and turned all night, quite a feat given the shaky cot beneath me. I was surprised to find it still intact when I woke up. I’d gone through an incredible spectrum of emotions with this trip. It started with frustration and anger because I hadn’t signed up for it, and it meant not spending time with Holly, something that grew more precious with each passing year. Soon she’d be a teen and spending time with her dad would be a nuisance for her. I was forced to go on the trip, but once we were on the road, I realized I missed the adventure of being in the field, being out in nature. The first few days were nostalgic, and they felt good. Being away from the usual chaos of the university and the constant chatter of technology and social media, I was able to reflect a lot on my life. I realized the divorce had turned me into a grump. I planned to move past my disappointment at how my marriage had turned out. It was time for that proverbial new leaf to be turned.

The one thing I hadn’t counted on or expected was to fall in love with my nemesis. Although, to be fair, she was only a nemesis of my own creation. I put up a wall the second I met her, and that wall became a hostile fortress the more I saw her. Now I knew why. I kept up my defenses solely to keep myself fromgetting hurt. Lot of good that did me, because I got hurt anyway. I planned to rebuild that same fortress, only this time I’d leave off the hostility. I’d go about my day and let Ava go about hers, and, slowly, I’d find a way to peel my feelings for her from my heart.

Norm was up already. He groaned as he worked to put his shoe onto the bad foot.

“Need help?” I asked.

“Nope,” he said between gritted teeth. “Almost there.” He gave the shoe a final yank and released the breath he’d been holding. “I’ve found the ‘pull the entire bandage off at once’ method works best. I get the shoe to a certain point and then just yank it on. The pain subsides pretty fast. I think my foot and toes are moving better already. What time are they coming to get us?”

“Well, Harold is coming to pick you up this morning. We should probably get a move on.”

Norm patted his backpack. “I’m ready. Believe me, no one wants out of this place more than me. You said Harold was coming to get me. Are you and Professor Lovely staying?”

“No but Harold only has two dirt bikes. I volunteered to walk back alone, but Professor Lovely insisted she’d walk, too. She didn’t want me to hike back alone in case something happened.” Our hike back together was something I no longer looked forward to, but Ava wouldn’t hear of me walking back alone.

“That’s right. I forgot they only had two bikes.”

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