Page 17 of Wanting Happily Ever After

“It’s just a snack,” he repeated.

She laughed. A second later, the tears came, confusing her even more.

She felt Brody move closer, and then his arms were around her, holding her close. He took the yogurt cup from her hand and hugged her tight.

“It’s just yogurt,” he said. “There are enough things in life to cry over. Yogurt just isn’t worth it.”

His words were meant to make her laugh, and they did. But they almost made her cry harder. Sarah wasn’t a crier—she rarely let her emotions loose so recklessly—but for the life of her, she couldn’t seem to stop crying. And even crazier, she couldn’t decide whether she was crying over yogurt or Brody or something else entirely.

“Sarah?” Brody’s voice was laced with concern. “Look at me,” he demanded. “Please.”

She left the comfortable security of his chest and lifted her head so she looked in his eyes. Through the blur of her tears, she saw the worry on his face. The care and concern. Andlove.

Before she could convince herself otherwise, she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his.

It was sweet and soft and also…everything but.

Sarah let herself melt into the kiss. He pulled her closer and cupped her cheek, and it all felt so completely perfect. And for a moment, she let herself believe that it really could be. But then, reality crashed through all themaybesand she pulled away.

She felt the absence of him acutely and instantly. But still, she turned away. “I shouldn’t have done that,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.” She moved to walk away but he grabbed her hand and held her fast.

“That was perfectly fair.” Brody’s voice was low and gravelly in a way she’d never heard before. “I’m not complaining, Sarah,” he added. “But if you walk away, I don’t—”

“I have to walk away.” Sarah turned and looked directly at him. Her tears had dried now, but the wild ride of emotions was still slamming through her. “Brody, we can’t do this.”

“We can.”

“No.” She shook her head, resolute. “You’re my best friend and up until a few minutes ago, I didn’t even think you felt that way about me and now…well, I can’t lose you, too.” She exhaled slowly. “I just can’t.”

He was silent for a moment but then he nodded without releasing his hold on her hand. “Okay,” he said. “If you say we can’t do this, then we can’t. I’m not going to pressure you. But without knowing what the hell you’re talking about, I’m going to say this.”

She waited a breath before he continued.

“We absolutelycando this. And you arenotgoing to lose me.”

The weight of her secret was heavy on her heart. It had been over five years, and she’d never told anyone about what had happened at the lake that day. She’d never told another living soul why Josh had gone for a swim that day. And why she’d lost him. Sarah exhaled slowly and looked directly into Brody’s eyes.

“I lost my best friend once before, Brody, and it almost killed me, too.”

“Sarah, nothing is going to happen to me.”

She smiled sadly. “You don’t know that.”

“No,” he said. “I guess I don’t. Not with absolute certainty.” He took a step closer. “But, Sarah, you can’t live your life scared that an accident will—”

“It wasn’t an accident.” She blurted out the words, but the moment they were out, it was as if a weight had lifted.

“You already told me there was no child he was trying to save. But still, it was an accident, Sarah.”

“No,” she said again. “I let everyone believe what they wanted about the child. That’s true,” she continued. “But that’s not everything.”

He watched her with question in his eyes, but to his credit, didn’t rush her. Sarah looked down for a moment. It would be so easy not to say anything more. It would be so easy to continue to keep her secret.

But it would be so much easier just to tell the truth. She swallowed hard and looked up. “It was my fault,” she said softly. “Josh’s death was my fault.”

Had he just heard her right?

Brody was sure he’d misunderstood what Sarah had just said. He had to have misheard. He chuckled a little, but she didn’t smile. “What do you mean?” he asked more seriously. “How was it your fault? I thought it was a drowning.”

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