Page 19 of Wanting Happily Ever After

He shook his head.

“It’s my fault. No matter what happened out there in the lake,” she said with so much sadness in her voice it caused Brody physical pain. “He never would have been there if it wasn’t for me. He never would have gone for a swim if I hadn’t selfishly wanted more. I ruined everything.Everything.In such a completely and terribly permanent way. And all because I wanted more.”

He knew where she was going with her line of thinking, and it didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense; it made sense to her. Brody shook his head and opened his mouth to stop her but she beat him to it.

“I won’t do it again,” she said. “I won’t lose what I already have because I think I need more. Not again.”

“No.”

“Brody, don’t. Please, I—”

“Sarah, this is crazy.” Brody moved so he faced her and took both her hands in his. He squeezed them and brought them to his lips as he spoke. “You are worthy and deserving of so much more. You should haveeverythingyou ever wanted. You deserve it all. And I know this terrible, horrible thing happened, Sarah. But it isn’t your fault and you need to stop blaming yourself and let yourself live. I care about you, Sarah. You’re not going to lose me.”

She closed her eyes and, for a moment, Brody thought maybe he’d gotten through to her.

But when she opened them again, she had a small smile on her face. “You’re right, I’m not going to lose you, because we can never be anything more than friends. Best friends,” she added quickly. “But just friends.” She shook her head and got to her feet. “I know this is confusing.” She chuckled a little. “Hell, it is for me too. Up until about twenty minutes ago, I didn’t even know you thought of me like that, and maybe that was easier because now knowing…well, it all seems a little too real and I just don’t think I can handle anything else. Please understand.”

He didn’t. He didn’t even come close to understanding what she was saying, but Brody knew enough to know that if he pushed it, he’d push her away. After a moment, he nodded. “Okay.” He swallowed hard. “Friends.”

Even as Brody said it, he didn’t know how the hell he was going to manage to keep his feelings for Sarah in check. Not after that kiss. Not now that everything he was feeling for her was growing so quickly and gaining strength by the second. But if it was what Sarah needed, then that’s what he would do.

Friends.

At least, for the time being.

ChapterSix

Bag of towels.Check.

Sand toys.Check.

Umbrella.Check.

Tote bag with enough sunscreen for an army.Check.

Cooler full of cold drinks.Check.

Folding chairs.Check.

Sarah stood back and examined the pile of essentials she’d put by the door.

The only thing she didn’t have was a cooler full of food, but Brody had insisted he’d take care of lunch and snacks, and considering she was enough of a stress case without having to worry about preparing food that wouldn’t go bad in the heat, she’d readily agreed.

Brody.

It had been three days since they’d kissed.

And since she’d pushed him away.

And worse…or maybe better…told himeverything.

Sarah had never told anyone about that day and what really happened. She’d never told anyone about her feelings for Josh and what she’d longed for. Not one person. How could she? They’d hate her. Nicole would blame her for her brother’s death. Her father would never look at her the same way and everyone around town…well…no. It had just been better to let everyone think that they were desperately in love and that he had been the love of her life. A hero who’d had a terrible accident.

She should have felt panicked that her secret was now out there for the whole world to potentially discover. After all, she hadn’t specifically told Brody not to tell anyone. It was kind of unspoken, but still...there was nothing stopping him from telling someone. And if he did…

He wouldn’t.

She knew it in her heart. That was why she’d been ready to unload it all. And even though she’d meant the truth to act like a wall to keep Brody at arm’s length, she’d felt closer to him ever since. Sarah knew he was just being respectful to her by agreeing to be friends. He probably thought she had completely lost it, especially after she’d kissed him. But she’d meant what she’d said. She couldn’t lose him too. It had all become perfectly clear with one kiss.

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