Page 39 of Choosing Happily Ever After

She just had to forget that she had ever let herself consider that Levi could be part of her future. Besides, it’s not as though she had time to feel sorry for herself. And even if she did, it wouldn’t be good for the baby.

The baby.

And shewasgoing to have a baby. The thought put a smile right back on her face.

“What are you grinning about?” Faith’s voice snapped her from her thoughts. “I didn’t think a trip to your cancer doctor would make you happy.”

Hope couldn’t help but laugh as she walked past her sister into the kitchen, slapping the handful of papers and pamphlets into her hands as she went. “Check it out.”

Faith was right behind her. “These are papers about sperm donors.” Hope turned to see Faith staring at her quizzically. “So you’ve made your decision? I thought you were still thinking.”

She couldn’t look at Faith in the eye, not when she had that look on her face. That look that was full of concern and disapproval. She knew her sister wanted her to just have the hysterectomy and be done with it. And there was a large part of her that had considered it. After all, it was the best chance she had at beating the cancer. It gave her the highest odds. But…she couldn’t ignore the pull of having her own child. She just couldn’t. No matter what it might cost her.

“I guess I did.” Hope hoped she sounded casual. She peeked into the oven. Faith wasn’t much of a cook, but she was good at picking up food to warm up and serve, and as far as Hope was concerned, that was good enough. “Smells good.”

“It’s just a rotisserie chicken,” Faith said absentmindedly. “Are we going to talk about this?” She waved the papers in the air and Hope sank into a kitchen chair with a sigh.

“What’s to talk about?”

“Your life, Hope. That’s what there is to talk about.”

“I’m not dying.”

“You could!” Faith struggled to control her emotions, and Hope had to look away. “If you don’t get the surgery, Hope…” Her voice fell. “You could die. And I can’t…”

Guilt flooded her as she listened to her twin sister try and fail to control her emotions, but Hope couldn’t let herself even consider an alternative. She’d made her decision. She couldn’t go back. Hope sat at the table and stared at her fingers and waited her sister out while she wiped at her eyes, trying desperately not to cry. Hope knew Faith well and she knew how much it pissed her off when she cried. Faith hated to show too much emotion.

Finally, Faith pulled herself together. “So that’s it then?”

Hope nodded.

“And that’s why you broke up with Levi?”

The question probably should have startled her, but it didn’t. Part of her had been expecting it and wondering what had taken Faith so long. She answered honestly. “Yes.”

Faith shook her head and mumbled something Hope couldn’t quite make out. She didn’t bother asking for clarification.

“That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Faith said after a second. “I mean, stupider only to the fact that you’re doing this in the first place.”

“Faith…”

Her sister held up her hands. “I know, I know. It’s your decision, but you’re my twin sister, which means I’m still allowed to have an opinion.” Hope wasn’t sure that’s what it meant at all, but she kept her mouth closed. “And I think it’s important that you know what mine is.”

“Noted.”

“Okay,” Faith said. “But I have one more thing to say.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“I think it was a shitty thing you did.”

Hope was genuinely taken aback. “Shitty? What was shitty?”

“What you did to Levi.” Faith pushed up from the table and stood. “It was a shitty thing to do.”

“No. It wasn’t.” Hope shook her head. “I did itforhim, Faith.” She could feel the emotions she’d been carefully pushing down start to bubble up to the surface.

“He deserves to know the truth, Hope.”

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