Page 80 of Escape to the Sun

“Yes, Mom. I’ve been unhappy for a long time. I just didn’t know how to go about ending it. I guess I should thank Joe for having an affair and forcing the situation.” No. Maybe not. “Okay, I won’t thank him. But you get the point.”

Her mother was silent for a few minutes. Finally, her voice was sad when she spoke. “I didn’t realize you were so unhappy, Heather.”

“Of course you didn’t.” She looked at her lap. “I never told you. I never told anyone, Mom. It wasn’t something I talked about. And I knew if I said something, you’d just tell me to come home. You’d tell me how you always knew he was no good for me. And I didn’t want to hear that.”

“I wouldn’t have—” Heather’s pointed look cut her off. “Okay, I would have said that.”

They both sat back in their chairs. The sun was starting to set, creating a vibrant palette of reds, oranges, and pinks streaking across the sky.

“Heather, do you know why I’m here?”

The question was so unexpected that she wasn’t entirely sure she’d heard it correctly. Slowly, Heather turned to her mom. “No,” she said after a moment. “I don’t.”

“Do you think it was easy for me to come here?”

She shook her head. “I know it wasn’t.”

“And I don’t just mean the travel.”

“I know, Mom.”

“Do you know why I never wanted you to leave home, Heather?”

“To protect me.”

Her mother nodded. They’d had the conversation before. Many times. Or at least, some variation of it. Her mother was silent again for a few minutes. “I both failed and succeeded.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a hard thing for a mother, Heather. Maybe one day you’ll understand.” Her mom wouldn’t look at her while she spoke, and Heather didn’t force it. “After your dad died, I didn’t want anything as much as I wanted you to stay safe. And with me. I don’t think I ever told you that part before.” Heather shook her head, but her mom didn’t notice. “I wasn’t only afraid of something happening to you; I was afraid of losing you.”

“Mom, you would never—”

“But that’s exactly what happened.” She continued as if Heather hadn’t said anything. “I lost you because I loved you too much. But you know what? You’re safe. So I guess I did okay.”

Heather reached over her chair and grabbed her mom’s hand. A tear dropped from her eye. “Mom. You did great.” She meant the words as she spoke and she realized she’d never before told her mother that before. “And you didn’t lose me. I’m here. And you’re right, I’m safe.”

“That’s all I ever wanted.” There were tears in her mother’s eyes when she turned. The light was starting to dim, but Heather could see them clearly. “And for you to be happy. It breaks my heart that you were unhappy all those years and you didn’t say anything because you thought I wouldn’t understand.”

“I just couldn’t go back. Not because I didn’t love you,” she added quickly. “But I needed to get out and see things. Experience some of the world. And I couldn’t do that if I went home to you. At least I didn’t think so. Does that make sense?”

Her mother chuckled and shook her head. “No. But it doesn’t have to.” She squeezed Heather’s hand. “I’m glad I came.”

“Me too, Mom. Me too.”

Not all of their problems were going to be solved in one night. But they were off to a great start and that was more than Heather ever expected. They held hands and caught up on the last few years as the sun set below the horizon and the solar-powered lights on the dock flickered to life. And only when the first star appeared in the sky did they go inside and continue their conversation over dinner.

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