14
The next morningdawned bright and beautiful, the way they always did. Seeing the sun and feeling the heat on her face energized Heather. And she needed the energy after a restless night. It was as if her mother had invaded her thoughts and her dreams.
Thank goodness for Ash being at Casa del Sol, because even if he was right about her mother wanting to fix things between them, the idea of trying to bridge that gap was overwhelming for Heather. Besides that, her mother didn’t indicate in any way that that might be the reason she was in Panama. She’d spent the evening complaining about how long the fight was, how muggy the air was, how hot the sun was, how crazy Bocas Town was, and how just in general, everything since she’d left home was terrible. Heather had to bite her tongue multiple times to keep from asking why she bothered to come if things were so awful.
But she didn’t.
Because if Ash was right and underneath all the complaining and the tough exterior, her mother was trying to be vulnerable and open herself up to mending fences, she didn’t want to slam the door before it was opened. Despite everything that had happened with her mom over the years and even the years before she’d left when Heather had felt trapped and smothered, she still loved her. And she was the only family Heather had.
She may not agree with her parenting style, but she didn’t have to. She was her mom. Underneath it all, Heather was just a little girl who knew her mother loved her and wanted the best for her. That’s why she’d made the choices she’d made.
Right or wrong.
Regardless, it would be way easier to try to bridge any gap if her mother had a better attitude. She’d suffered through the rest of the evening without saying anything she’d regret and when finally she suggested to her mom that they get a good night’s sleep and regroup in the morning, Heather almost cried with joy when her mom agreed.
After guiding her mom back to her bungalow, she’d been hoping to have a chance to talk with Ash and maybe even finish what they’d started before her mother’s interruption. It seemed like a million years ago that she’d been stranded in the mangroves. It had only been a few hours, but it might as well have been a lifetime ago because with her mother’s arrival, Heather was taken right back to those same feelings of when she’d been a teenager, trapped in her mom’s grip.
Only this time it was different because she’d had a taste of freedom. More than a taste…she’d had a life.
And it may not have been the life she’d dreamt of, but it was a start and she was finally ready for more.
And that’s exactly what she was going to tell Ash.
Except when she returned, he was gone. It was probably for the best. It had been a long day and the conversation she wanted to have with him deserved a fresh start.
Which was exactly what she was hoping for that morning when she made her way down to grande casa. Camila was already there, cooking up something that smelled delicious. The coffee was on, and the sun was shining. It was the perfect day in paradise, and hope and happiness swelled inside her.
Heather took her coffee out to the dock and had just sat in one of the deck chairs when she heard the creak of the wooden boards behind her.
So much for a moment of solitude.
“Good morning, Heather.”
“Mom. You’re up early.” Her mother was dressed surprisingly casual in khaki shorts, a light pink blouse untucked, and a gigantic straw hat that was almost comical in size. She stood and gestured to the chair next to her. “Do you want some coffee?”
To Heather’s surprise, her mom nodded agreeably and sat next to her. Heather called to Camila and through a series of hand gestures, conveyed the message that she needed another cup.
“Did you sleep okay?” she asked as she sat back down.
“I did, thank you.”
They were being exceedingly polite with each other but at least no one was upset. Still, it couldn’t go on forever. When Camila brought out another mug of coffee and a tray of fresh papaya with a wedge of lime to squeeze over the fruit, they were given a reprieve from the small talk.
“This is delicious.” Juices ran down her mom’s chin as she spoke and picked up more fruit.
Heather nodded and took her own piece. “Everything tastes better in the tropics. Sweeter. Juicier. It makes it hard to believe that it’s the same fruit we get back home in the grocery store.”
Her mom paused and stared at her. “Do you still consider Idaho home?” There was hope in her question, and for a moment, Heather considered lying to her. But after a second, she shook her head.
“No. Not really.”
“Heather.” The disapproval was back in her mom’s face, her lips pressed into a hard line. “You know you always have a home there. You didn’t have to run away. And you certainly didn’t have to stay away. You made the wrong choice with Joe,” she continued. “But you don’t have to stay away to prove a point. You don’t have to be stubborn, you know.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again.
She wasn’t going to do it. She wasn’t going to get dragged into her mother’s trap. The trap that she’d never be able to get out of. Not this time. Heather stared out to the horizon and didn’t respond.
“You don’t have to like my choices, Mom. I’m okay with that.”