Page 43 of Laying it Bare Biker Style - Grayson

Although I wish I could’ve said the same about my progress with having sex. I had no idea what I would have done if that bastard had done more than put his hands on and in me. Although through the entire heartbreaking struggle, Grayson had been so patient as we diligently forged ahead. I was able to sleep snuggled in his arms at night, but anytime he tried to touch me intimately, I freaked the hell out. But I was so determined not to allow that sleazy excuse for a human to take this from us. So I begged Grayson to keep trying, even though it always ended with my entire body trembling and tears streaming down my face. Yet, Grayson held my quaking body as I sobbed out my frustration and anguish. It hurt Grayson almost as much as me because he hated seeing me in such emotional distress. And part of him saw it as him causing me the pain. Needless to say, it had been a rough six weeks.

But although it had felt like it had taken forever, we moved past that huge obstacle and Grayson and Ifinallywere able to make love last night. And not just once, but three times since we had been so freaking ecstatic and had missed that intimate connection; we really couldn’t get enough. So not surprisingly, I was a little sore today, but it was so worth it. My brain no longer held me back from what my heart and body craved. The reminder each time I moved that Grayson hadfinallybeen inside of me again was more of a balm to my soul than an ache between my legs.

When there was a knock on our front door, I hurried to answer. As soon as I pulled the door open, Sage’s eyes popped wide.

“Oh my God! You had sex!” She shrieked before shoving a startled Jade into Ryder’s arms and wrapping me in a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

“So I’m not the only one who can see the glow on her.” Grayson came up beside us.

“Sorry, I’m not going to hug you, Grayson.” Ryder raised his fist to give Grayson a bump. “But I’m glad to see the tension gone from you as well.”

Grayson closed the door behind our friends since Sage still hadn’t released me.

“This is a cause for celebration. I should have brought wine with us.” Her arms finally unwound from me and she took a step back.

“It’s okay. Grayson and I celebrated last night . . . three times.”Why the hell did my cheeks heat? It wasn’t like I wasn’t used to talk like this.

“That deserves another fist bump.” Ryder chuckled.

Grayson wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me to his side. “It tore me up to witness her breakdowns as we tried to work through this.” He kissed the top of my head. “But I’m glad she pushed the issue. She’s been so strong through all of this and is making great strides. But we both needed to move past that hurdle.”

I had talked a lot to Sage about it. Grayson had encouraged me to do so and it wasn’t like I was sharing about him not being able to perform or being bad in bed. It was therapeutic to share with a friend. And Sage was an incredibly compassionate one. It also helped to talk about it with someone who didn’t feel as if he was adding to my strain. And the therapist I had been seeing recommended talking with close friends about it as well.

The two of us headed to the living room and sat on the loveseat while Ryder and Sage sat on the couch with Jade nestled in Ryder’s arms, sleeping peacefully.

I smiled; she was wide awake three minutes ago.

“I knew the two of you would work through things quickly. You guys are perfect for each other. And I have to agree with Grayson; you’re one tough cookie.”

My lips dipped into a frown. “I’m over the moon we were able to move past my intimacy issue, but I really wish I could bring myself to go out without dragging Grayson along. Although I know he doesn’t mind going everywhere with me.”

“Damn straight, I don’t. I told you I would be with you every step of the way. You’ll get there.” Grayson tugged me onto his lap, wrapping me up in his arms.

“I want to be able to go out again with you, Sage. Or maybe we could plan something with Angel and Misti as well. But I don’t know if I could go with just us and one of the club members. I get edgy just considering it.”

“Princess, it’s only been six weeks. You’ve been through quite a trauma and it’s going to take time to heal. I think you’re being too hard on yourself. We can hang out at the club for now. Or you could invite the girls to our place some night. You girls can watch a movie and drink wine. And me and the guys can sit out on the deck and have some beers. As for shopping; if you need a new outfit or something, you can always shop online for now.”

“I guess I can do things that way for a little while longer. I just miss actually trying on clothes. Sometimes I find something that way that I wouldn’t have normally bought.” Which brought back the memory of when Sage and I had been kidnapped from the mall and I had lost that gorgeous piece of lingerie. I was overdue for a shopping trip to replace that item and find one that was identical or close to because I had been positive Grayson would drool over it. And now that I had overcome the intimacy obstacle, I needed a perfect outfit – or several – so we could continue celebrating my triumph in sexy style.

“Girl, what I wouldn’t give to be able to try on clothes and find some nice things.” Sage put a hand over her ‘barely you could tell she had been pregnant’ belly. “But I have a bit more to lose before I can happily do that. So you continue to heal and I’ll continue to firm up.”

“Baby, you look gorgeous and there is nothing wrong with your body.” Ryder leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“And you’ve been blinded by love.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

When the oven beeped, I slid off of Grayson’s lap and stood. “The lasagna is ready.” Then I headed for the kitchen.

“It smells amazing and I’m starving. What can I do to help?” Sage came in behind me.

“Nothing. Just sit your butt down at the table.”

I pulled our dinner from the oven and set it on a pot holder beside the basket of sliced bread in the middle of the table. Then I grabbed the bowl of salad and dressings from the refrigerator and added that to our feast. I had set the table while I was waiting for them to arrive and Grayson had been in the shower.

When Ryder and Grayson entered without Jade, I shot them a quizzical look. “What did you do with the munchkin?”

“I spread some blankets out on the floor and lay her down. She’ll sleep for a little while longer. Hopefully long enough that one of us has time to eat.” Ryder sat down beside Sage.

Then the four of us dug in. Sporadic chatter mingled with our dinner.

Almost three hours later, Ryder and Sage headed home with their baby.

And Grayson and I snuggled on the couch.

“You look really happy today; content; at peace. I’m glad we had them down for dinner.”

“That was definitely nice, but I think it was more the fact that we were finally able to make love. Not only did I miss that connection terribly; it was a reminder of all he took away from me. I needed something to help me feel whole again. And I know I’m getting there. I’m just anxious to get back to the real me.”

“You’re real enough for me.” He shot me a devilish grin. “But I understand your frustration. I would be pissed too if I couldn’t do the things I normally did. If I felt like I couldn’t be me. But you’ll be able to go out and do things like before soon.” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “But I know one thing you do really well and I’d like to repeat it several times tonight as well. Let’s go start our naughty sexcapades with a shared shower.” Grayson tugged me up off of the couch and led me down to our room.

Even though I still had some things to work through to get back to the real me; this me was thrilled to be experiencing another night filled with Grayson doing all sort of naughty things to my body while he demonstrated just how much he loved me.

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