Page 53 of Friends Don't Kiss

“Yes, there is a point. Kiara is perfect for you. She’s your best friend. You have stars in your eyes when you think about her.”

I don’t know about having stars in my eyes, but I’m not going to argue that I have feelings for Kiara. More than vague feelings. The idea of her on a date with a stranger revolts me.

Willow reads my mood. “Let me help you.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

She smiles like she’s won Ms. Angela’s spelling bee a-fucking-gain. “I’ll put you on the same dating app as Kiara. It’s slim pickings, so I’m sure she’ll be interested in you.”

“Why would she click on my profile?”

“Oh, she won’t know it’s you. I’ll put a fake picture.”

That doesn’t sound right. “Isn’t that, like, illegal or something?”

“Well, you’re not trying to go out with other women, right?”

This makes me pause. But how would trapping Kiara on a date with me make things better? I don’t like this scheming. “I don’t know, Willow. I don’t like it.”

“Oh, come on. What’s the worst that can happen? She doesn’t swipe on your profile? She leaves your date when she sees it’s you?”

I chuckle. “She’d be pissed, for sure.”

“Pissed is her baseline attitude. You got nothing to lose.”

If it works, it could be fun. I already know where our first date will be. She’ll absolutely love it. Even if nothing comes out of it, we’ll have a fun night. Willow’s right: what is there to lose? “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Don’t think too long. I put her profile up last night, and she already has a lot of… interest.”

Fuck. I check the time. “I have to head to the Select Board meeting in half an hour.” I finally put my name down, and tonight the board is interviewing the candidates and making their selection. The meeting is in an hour, and I’m not showing up late. Not with how Kiara encouraged me to join.

Willow lets out a little shriek, runs to her car to grab her bag, and drags me to my office in the back.

Five minutes later I’m revising my opinion on Willow not being a cop at heart. “Alright, interests. Tell me everything you like, and we’ll keep only what’ll tickle Kiara.”

“Pepperoni pizza, Allagash IPA, dark grade syrup on Noah’s bratwursts, Chris’s brioche, napoleons, chocolate cheesecake, Mom’s lasagna… You’re not taking notes?”

She purses her lips. “Let’s maybe elevate this out of the food arena.”

She making fun of me right now? “You asked what I liked.”

She sighs, then sits up, realizing her patronizing attitude isn’t the way to go with me. “Okay.” She spreads her fingers out, counting. “Snowboarding. Video games. Fixing cars. What else? What do you do for fun?”

“I race cars.”

She tilts her head again. “How did I not know that?”

“Keep that to myself. Mostly.”

“That’s pretty cool. Does Kiara know?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then, let’s muddy the waters. We won’t mention racing or she’ll see right through it. Give me a few minutes. I’ll come up with something.”

As I walk into Town Hall that evening, I know it was the right call. It’s time I not only give back to my hometown but also put my mark on it. Kiara said something to that effect too.

The meeting goes as planned. I’m asked a few questions, the other applicant as well, then Lynn, Cassandra, Owen, and Noah retreat to a small office, followed by Ms. Angela who serves as secretary. They come back minutes later and announce they chose me to replace Stan for the remainder of his term. The meeting is adjourned, and the few people in attendance start leaving.