Page 99 of Going Solo

With the plan in place and my phone back in my hands, I started absently scrolling through my photos, looking for the perfect image.

“Do you want to stay at ours until this blows over?” Nick asked.

“Jolly good idea,” Ludo said. “Rather ruins the ruse if you’re spotted taking the bins out in your jimmy jams.”

“You’d be very welcome,” Dav added.

I smiled, grateful to have such wonderful friends. Sandy popped her head through the velvet curtain and plonked a bottle of champagne down on the table. “I don’t mean to alarm you, my darling, but there’s a swarm of photographers turned up out the front.”

My heart sank.

“How did they find you so quickly?” Ludo said.

Sandy picked at the foil on the bottle. “If it was one of the punters, they’ll soon discover six inches up the arse is more than enough when it’s a rhinestoned stiletto.”

I shook my head. “John will have sold me out. Serves me right for being chippy with him.”

“John?” Ludo asked.

“PureFM’s entrepreneurial resident busker,” Nick said. “It’s amazing he doesn’t have his own house by now, the way he shakes everyone down.”

The champagne cork popped, and Sandy began pouring out the fizzing golden liquid. “What do you want me to do about the photographers?” she asked.

Sunny answered for me. “Nothing at all.” He pointed at my suitcase. “When you’re ready to leave, Toby, you’re going to march out of here with that suitcase and get straight into a taxi. The last thing you’re going to let the photographers hear you say before you shut the door is ‘Airport, please, driver.’ Make sure you don’t say which one.”

“But they’ll have mopeds,” I said. “They’ll follow us.”

“Up the motorway?”

Maybe Sunnywasa ginger genius? I smiled and raised my champagne flute. We might even get away with this, I thought.

As we all clinked our glasses, a text pinged my phone.

Mum:Elsa says someone’s up the side of the house going through the bins. What should we do?

The 7 best hot takes on “marriage material” finally landing Cole Kennedy

@exkennedictabbey:Toby did the smart thing and patiently bided his time until Cole was in the bargain bin. Never pay full price for damaged goods, y’all! #discountcole

@ronsonnicola28:Imagine having so little self-worth that you let the guy who turned you into an internet meme use you as a plot twist in his ill-advised redemption arc. Who is writing @TobyLyngstad’s story, Colleen Hoover?

@sandwichf1lla:He might not be marriage material but Cole K sure is desperately-snog-my-way-to-good-press material. #popreview #thegotos

@OctimusTate:Give Cole a break. Dude’s a player. All us players got that one ex who’s both still in love with us and so insecure that when we snap our fingers, their legs open right up.

@LadyAndreaG25:So what if he might throw you through a glass table from time to time, Cole Kennedy’s hot. Amirite?

@HannahW99:Self-respect is the most valuable commodity we all have. It costs nothing. Don’t trade it for a lump of Cole. #respect #colekennedy

@Cole4Eva:This whole situation is desperately sad. Cole’s reputation is being trashed by someone who clearly bears him a huge grudge. Imagine if your ex wrote a tell-all book about your time together. I bet you wouldn’t like what you read. Jasper Horner is a bitter, evil creep. #teamcolby #kennedictforlife

ChapterForty-One

Three days later, I found myself sitting in Nick’s car in the car park under his building, waiting for Cole to arrive. It was the morning Cole was due to fly to Stockholm and the first time I’d left Nick and Dav’s apartment since arriving there direct from Miss Timmy’s. I had cabin fever. Now, finally having stepped out the front door, I was terrified someone was going to rumble me. The press seemed to have bought the big lie that I was in Gran Canaria, but that hadn’t stopped them finding new angles to fill the paper every day. I wore my purple onesie, partly so I could throw up the hood if anyone came by, and partly because I hadn’t taken it off since I’d moved in. Dav had volunteered to sew up the leg the evening I arrived because, and I quote, “I’ve just seen how impressively thorough your spray tan is, and that’s more information than I needed at dinner.”

Cole’s big black SUV rumbled up to the gate. As I pressed the button to let him in, I felt both excited to see him and annoyed that all this cloak-and-dagger stuff was necessary. Cole climbed out of the car with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Is this for me?” He batted the velvety ears of my hood, pulled me into a hug, and kissed me. “You can tell me if this is your kink, Tobes. Purple kitty cats in underground car parks is incredibly niche, but… I can work with it.”

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