Page 62 of Going Solo

“Well, you aced your audition. The judges loved you. Even the woodlice eating the floorboards knew you were going to be a star. So, that’s hardly a surprise.”

“You know that’s not what I mean,” he said, turning to face me. I glanced over at him. His eyes were red.

“You better not have the audacity to cry right now?—”

“You were smart, funny, confident?—”

“Shut your lying mouth, Cole Kennedy. I was none of those things. I was a fat, spotty, awkward, orange?—”

“Orange, I will concede, but you weren’t even remotely fat. That was all in your head. You still had a bit of puppy fat in the face, that’s all.”

“Puppy fat? Mum once said I was ‘cherubic,’ and Aunty Cheryl asked how many cherubs I ate in an average sitting.”

Cole laughed. “Do you think Aunty Cheryl might have been responsible for some of your body image issues? Everyone has puppy fat at sixteen.”

“Why are we talking about puppy fat?”

“I wasn’t. You were. I was talking about the fact I met this amazing boy who charmed me with his brains and his wit, and who saved me from the Hallelujah Curse, and who filled a pair of skinny jeans in the most…delicious… way possible.”

I roared in frustration. “You’re doing my nut, Cole.”

“You wore your sexuality loud and proud at a time when I was still coming to terms with mine. That was so sexy. The instant I laid eyes on you, I knew I wanted you. Within half an hour, I swear, I thought, ‘I could fall in love with this guy.’”

I closed my eyes, blinking away the frustration, hurt, and rage, giving myself a moment to find the right words. But when I opened my eyes, the tail lights on the lorry in front of me were shining bright red, and we were speeding towards them way too fast. I slammed on the brakes. We lurched forward. Cole put his arms out to avoid smashing into the dashboard. The tyres squealed. I closed my eyes, waiting for the sound of crunching metal and shattering glass.

We stopped just in time.

“Jesus, are you OK?” I said, my heart thumping like a coked-up jackrabbit having a wank.

“I’m fine,” Cole said. He put his hands on his head. “The hat’s OK. We’re fine over here. Are you OK?”

“I’m OK.” I looked in the mirror. Cole’s fleet of SUVs, no doubt with better brakes than the van’s, had safely stopped. I craned to look up the road ahead. The traffic was at a standstill, with red tail lights as far as I could see. “I think there might be an accident. I don’t think we’re going anywhere for a while.”

“I knew we should have got snacks. How amazing would a doughnut be right now?”

I looked out the window at the vehicle directly to the right of us. It was a minibus full of teenage girls. They were jumping about excitably and pointing at the van and thePop Reviewsignage. One girl mouthed the words “taking… pop… seriously.”

“Get down!” I said, hitting Cole on the arm. “For God’s sake, keep your hat down.” I slapped it over his face. “Here, lie down. Donotlook out the driver’s side window.” I explained about the bus and the girls. Cole was calm. He appeared used to this sort of situation. He lay down along the bench seat of the van.

“This is cramped,” he said after a minute. His legs were folded hard up against the passenger door. He shuffled back, resting his head on my lap. “That’s better.”

“That’s assault,” I replied. But he didn’t move.

I sat there in disbelief. Cole’s head was warm against my leg, the smell of cinnamon and hair shampoo filling the air. His face was right by my dick. Like, if he turned his head to the left, his lips would brush the zip of my jeans and I’d feel the warmth of his breath against my groin. And for all I hated him, all my cock knew was that there was a fit guy with his face in my lap, and it would not ask my brain for permission to launch. This was toointimate, too uncomfortable. But I had no choice but to put up with it because the alternative was a busload of schoolgirls recognising one of the most famous pop stars in the world and thenbedlam. We were trapped. Trapped by the traffic, by a busload of teenagers, and by the things we used to feel for one another. I looked down at him. Cole smiled.

“This, by the way, is why I always take the jet.”

Twat. “I didn’t ask you to be here.”

“I wouldn’t have missed our road trip for the world.”

“Because you fell in love with me instantly?” My words were ripe with disdain. “When we were kids?”

“To be fair, that’s not quite what I said. The only person I fell in love with instantly that day was Gaston.”

I rolled my eyes.

“How is Gaston, by the way?”

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