Page 34 of Going Solo

“Well, you can sod right off, then.”

“Please, Toby, I love y?—”

I hung up the phone.

Two days later, a lawyer from Totally Television turned up on the doorstep. I refused to sign the NDA. I’d doubtless made a powerful enemy. But then, how could they possibly make my life worse? I called Cole to give him a piece of my mind, but his new number was disconnected.

Cole and the gang the “Go Tos” for Quant

With the first of the “Make Me a Pop Star” live shows starting this weekend, Felicity Quant’s Totally Television has revealed the names of the acts formed during the show’s gruelling group stage.

The five-piece boy band starring this season’s heart-throb and certified “marriage material” farm boy, Cole Kennedy, will be called “the Go Tos.” Kennedy and bandmates Joey Demasi, Chase French, Yoshi Kawaguchi and Taylor Knight released a short promo video on social media showing off the band’s new branding and an accompanying hand gesture that has already taken social media by storm.

As one internet wag pointed out: “They’ve got a logo, they’ve their own sign language, and they’re already the biggest boy band in the country. Imagine what’ll happen if they actually release a song?”

Announcing the name on the social media accounts of Totally Television and Totally Records, Quant said the name “the Go Tos” alluded to the fact that “throughout the auditions, these five boys were the ones we kept going back to, time and time again.”

Other acts include a four-piece girl group called Crush, the duo Bernie and Audrey, and “alternative” trio BatSkink.

ChapterFourteen

Ididn’t watch any of theMake Me a Pop Starlive shows go out. I couldn’t. It hurt too much. The bullying at school was relentless. I struggled to leave my bedroom. Even Elsa had realised something was seriously wrong and stopped making fun of me. And while my life went to hell, Cole and “the Go Tos” were becoming more famous by the day—and harder to avoid. They were everywhere: TV, radio, billboards, social media. In November, I started skipping school. The school called my parents, obviously, which led to a blazing row that ended with me running out of the house in floods of tears. I went to the only place I could think to go.

“Don’t eat the brownies, they’re hash.” Aunty Cheryl had her back to me while she made me a cup of tea. “They’re for my book club.”

“You belong to a book club?”

“I can read, you know.”

“Yeah, but, like…doyou read?”

She waved a hand in the air. “I usually read the synopsis on Wikipedia, to get the gist. In case the topic comes up.”

“Isn’t talking about the book the whole point of a book club?”

She plonked my tea down in front of me.

“Sometimes I forget how young you are, Tobes. The point of a book club is so the girls can get together to drink rosé midweek and slag off their nearest and dearest.” She opened a kitchen drawer and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. “Irish?”

“I think you’ve forgotten how young I am, again.”

She shrugged and emptied a slug of Jameson’s into her mug.

“How you coping, babes?”

Suddenly there was a lump in my throat, and I couldn’t find the right words.

“We need to toughen you up, babes. What have I told you a thousand times?”

I knew what was coming. My aunt held a hand up in front of her face and waggled her now raspberry nails.

“These nails are my sword,” I recited dutifully.

“That’s right.” She grabbed a handful of her hair. “And these extensions are my shield.” She circled her face with her finger. “Thisis my battle dress. When I’ve got my eyelashes on and a face full of slap, no one can get through me.”

I sighed. Aunty Cheryl reached over and twisted a piece of my fringe, combing it back into place with her acrylics.

“You’re a special boy, Tobes. We need to build your armour up.”

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