Page 16 of Going Solo

Cole was waiting outside the record store, leaning back against the shop wall with his guitar case slung across his front and a couple of vinyl albums under his arm. He looked like an album cover. Effortlessly cool. I trotted up the street towards him like a hog after its breakfast, cursing myself as I felt a trickle of sweat roll down my back. Cole turned and saw me, his face cracking into a big smile.

“Hey, you made it.”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and I worried he might feel dampness. I twisted into him to try to hug him properly and kiss his cheek, but the guitar between us made it awkward.

“Watch the new vinyl! This is the Velvet Underground anniversary edition.”

“Sorry!” I jumped back, abandoning my attempt to kiss him and cursing my clumsiness.

“I’m starving. Do you still want to grab some lunch and sit in the park?” Cole asked.

“Absolutely. I’ve booked us a table at the finest restaurant I could afford. It’s on the way.”

Twenty minutes later, unable to find a free bench in Castle Park, we were sitting on the grass, shoving Big Macs into our mouths and admiring the thousand-year-old castle the Normans had built on the site of some old Roman ruins.

“Have you ever been in?” I asked.

Cole nodded. “School trip. I love ancient history. I wasobsessedwith Queen Boudica.”

“I’ve always vibed with Boudica,” I said, slurping on my Coke. “Probably because she burnt Colchester to the ground, which is an idea I can really get behind.”

Cole laughed.

It was a glorious day, and the midday sun was beating down on us. The park was bustling with people enjoying their lunch breaks. A couple of fit lads had taken their shirts off. I felt a bead of armpit sweat roll down my side.

“It’s a hot one today,” Cole said, stripping off his hoodie to reveal the vest underneath. “Aren’t you hot?” As he sank his teeth into his Big Mac, I tried not to stare at the lean, firm muscles of his arms, pretended not to notice the way his shoulders were more heavily tanned than his biceps, tried not to imagine whatever shirtless agricultural labours had created this body. I wanted to lean over and kiss him, but he had a mouth full of hamburger. Sweat trickled from my other armpit. Cole pointed at my chest, apparently suggesting I take off my top.

“In the middle of Colchester? No way. You must be mental.”

Cole shook his head and pointed again. I looked down to see I’d spilt tomato sauce and mayo all down my T-shirt.

“Bollocks!”

Already dying of embarrassment, I grabbed for a napkin to wipe it up, knocking over my Coke and sending black sugary liquid and half-melted ice across the lawn towards Cole’s hoodie and guitar.

“Sorry!”

“It’s OK, don’t worry about it.” Cole laughed, plucking his belongings out of harm’s way.

I dragged the napkin up my white T-shirt, trying to scoop up the bulk of the sauce and succeeding in smearing it everywhere. Why was this all going wrong? My hand started to shake, and I hesitated.

“Here, let me do it.”

Suddenly Cole was on his knees on the grass in front of me, a napkin in his hand, dabbing at the tomato sauce. His face was inches from mine. The swoosh of his hair brushed my face, tickling my skin, making the hair on my arms stand on end. Cole’s face was set in concentration, his eyes determined, his brow furrowed. It was so sexy. I couldn’t look away, even as he dabbed gently at my chest. He looked up. Our eyes met.

“It’s a goner, I’m afraid,” he said. “This needs stain remover and a washing machine.”

Cole’s eyes were burning with intensity. His lips were so close. Was this the moment? Was I about to have my first kiss? My mouth felt dry. I swallowed, ran my tongue across my lips—and found a sesame seed in the corner of my mouth. And my butt felt wet. The Coke had found my jeans. I wanted to cry. This whole stupid day was a write-off. I’d humiliated myself in front of a lad I had a massive crush on—the only guy who’d ever been interested in me. I’d ruined it.

“Sorry. I think I want to go home.”

“We can do that.”

“No, I mean, I have to go.” I stood up, brushing my greasy hands on my jeans. I felt crushed, empty. Cole was never going to want to see me again after this. I had to get out of there.

Cole stood. “Whatever you need. We can hang out another time.”

I froze, letting the words sink in. He still wanted to see me again?

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