Page 108 of Going Solo

“Marsha P says, ‘I’ve been listening toPop Reviewsince I was twelve and I’ve been team Colby since day one.’” I coughed. “OK. Thank you, Marsha. We’ve got a voice note here. Let’s hear from Medhat.” Tap. I hit play on the voice note.

“Oh my God, Toby, are you mad? You’re like,soooocute together. For God’s sake, go out there and get your man. We’re all rooting for you!”

I looked at Tarneesha, who was meant to screen these notes before they went to air. She shrugged.

“Let’s hear a track,” I said, pressing the button to fire off the song.Tap. I switched my microphone off. I punched at the button that allowed me to speak directly to Tarneesha.

“What are you playing at?”

“It’s not me,” she protested. “It’s been non-stop since WebFlix dropped their promo. It’s all anyone wants to talk about.”

“It’s our last show, babes, can we talk aboutPop Reviewplease?”

“The listeners want to talk about you and Cole.”

“Absolutely not.”

But for the next three-quarters of an hour, every caller and every message to the chat line was about the same topic: People were suddenly invested in a Cole and Toby love story they had barely known was happening.

Tammy F:You’re so cute together! OMG! #teamcolby

Yara A:I can’t believe he wrote The Flame for you and you still let him go a second time! Are you mad, Toby? Go fix this, immediately!

Tim L:My boyfriend and I have a spare front row ticket to tonight’s show at Wembley. For the love of all that is holy, please come with us. You have to get back together with Cole.

Ravi D:Don’t listen to the haters! Love is love. You two belong together!

A message from Tarneesha flashed up on the screen: “Robbie from Leeds is on line one.”Tap. My microphone was on. I back-announced the song and hit the button that put line one live to air.

“Robbie from Leeds has called into the show,” I said. “Robbie, what hasPop Reviewmeant to you?” I lifted the fader to hear Robbie speak.

“Well, I’m more of an old rock and roller, me,” he said, and I recognised the voice immediately.

“Is that… Robbie Johnswagger… of Buzzsaw fame?”

I looked at my team through the glass. Tarneesha shrugged again, but Nick couldn’t hide his smirk.

“The one and the same, young lad,” Robbie said. “Long time, no speak.”

In fact, I hadn’t spoken to Robbie since that fateful day by the pool onMake Me a Pop Starwhen I was swapped out for Taylor Knight.

“I wanted to wish you all the best for your final show and thank you for your contribution to the music industry,” he said. “It might not have been the role you thought you’d play, but I want you to know we all respect the way you talk about music. You bring real intellect to the conversation, and we’ll miss you doing what you do, because you’re bloody good at it.”

My throat felt like it was trying to swallow a snooker ball. “Thank you,” I squeaked out. “That means a lot, coming from a legend of the industry.”

“I do think you’ve been a bloody bellend about Cole, though, to be blunt.”

Sideswiped at a thousand miles an hour. My whiplash had whiplash.

“If he was good enough to be considered marriage material twelve years ago, he’s certainly good enough to be marriage material now. Helen Keller could see you two love each other and belong together, and she’s been dead for sixty years. Pull your bloody finger out.”

I couldn’t form words. I flailed about, trying to find something to say.

“You do love him, don’t you, Toby?” Robbie asked.

I nodded until my vocal cords caught up with my head.

“Yes, of course,” I said defensively. “I think I’ve probably loved him since the day we met.”

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