Page 47 of Unmasking You

I sit down next to Shane, and maybe I shouldn’t because he wasn’t nice to me yesterday, but I want to talk to him anyway.

“Hi,” I whisper, so he’s the only one who can hear me. I won’t feel too ashamed if he doesn’t reply.

He doesn’t really look at me, instead blatantly ignoring me as if I’m not really there.

It’s like there’s a wall between us, a wall that I don’t know how to climb because I’m not sure what I did to have it erected in the first place.

I place my book on the desk and pretend to concentrate on the lesson, but my thoughts are all jumbled inside me, and my gut is telling me I did something wrong, and that’s why Shane doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore.

Didn’t he want to kiss me? Did I come onto him too forcefully?

Oh, God. My insides turn upside down, making me want to throw up. But no, I’m sure it wasn’t all in my mind. Everything was good when it was only the two of us.

We don’t talk, and I’m glad when the bell rings, pushing us to another class, a different class, so I won’t have to sit next to him, racking my brain about why he isn’t talking to me.

I reach my locker and open it, hiding my face so others don’t see the tears ready to flow, and use the sleeve of my jacket to wipe them away. I hear voices around me, but I don’t pay them any attention. I pull my book out for the next lesson, and take a step back to close the locker.

A shove sends me crashing against the locker, and I bang my head on it. I turn around, and the gang’s all there, led by Shane and Dan. I detest the look in Dan’s eyes, so full of hate, and it makes me shiver in fear. What did I ever do to him?

“Hey,” I say, while I glance at Shane, but his gaze on me is a blank canvas. It’s as if we’d never met before. What the fuck?

“Sorry, Povo, I didn’t see you there. You should watch where you’re going before someone gets hurt.”

What the fuck! Is he blaming me?

“Stop calling me that.”

“What’s up your ass today?” I hate the disgusted smile he sends my way.

“Go back to class.” Mr Andrews’s voice has everyone moving. All except Dan who is still looking down on me.

“Is there a problem, Mr Bryant?”

“Nope, I think Mr Wilson here has one, though.”

“Mr Wilson?”

“No problem here, Mr Andrews.” I close my locker and walk away, but I still feel Dan’s eyes on me.

I don’t turn back. Ignoring him is the best thing I can do.

Ignoring him is not working.

Every time no one’s looking, I find myself pushed against walls, lockers, or whatever surface I’m next to when the gang walks past me.

A month after my near first kiss with Shane, my life at school has become a nightmare.

Now I’m surrounded by Dan, Tom, and Toby, towering over me. I don’t miss Shane, just a few feet away, pretending not to see what’s happening here. He hasn’t been the same since that day. Nothing has been the same.

What I loved about him, I now hate the most. I want to cry because it’s not even true. I’m still waiting for him to turn my way and save me. And every time he doesn’t, I die a little bit more inside.

I can’t believe that for a couple of seconds, something that felt so right has become the worst decision of my life. And now, this mess is my life.

“If you open your mouth again to accuse us of bullying, I will find you outside of school and break your legs.”

“Please, leave me alone.” My voice shakes, and I hate myself for it.

“Povo, stop fighting, because things can get much worse.”

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