Page 15 of Unmasking You

“I’m not here for you,” I say while picking up the dog in my arm so she stops humping my leg. I caress her long fur, but at Jamie’s murderous look, I place her on the floor and continue. “I’m here for a chai latte.” I turn to Andy. “Is that ready?”

Yep, I kept the no-lying policy in place. In my mind, I roll my eyes at myself.

I don’t miss Jamie’s hurt face, and it’s going to add to the pile of regrets I have and haunt me for a long time.

The satisfaction of seeing Andy leave should make me feel like an arsehole, but instead, I’m relieved.

Jamie only stares at me, and it seems like he isn’t even blinking. It’s as if he’s trying to rein in everything going on inside him. He keeps himself still, but his trembling hands are impossible to miss. Then he clutches them into fists.

Being forgiven is becoming even more of a distant possibility.

So, focused on Jamie, I miss Andy returning. I look at the cup he’s holding in front of me and then at the man holding it, and it’s clear what he wants me to do. As if I was ever someone who did things other people asked of me, unless it was my father.

“J—“

“Here’s your chai latte,” Andy says, placing the cup in front of me and himself in front of Jamie. “Please leave now.” He’s polite but firm, and I bet it would take him less than a minute to throw me out of this place.

I leave before my mouth can spout more bullshit, but not before I take a good look at Jamie.

As soon as I’m out, I want to walk back in. This encounter was supposed to go a totally different way. It was supposed to end up with me asking for forgiveness, instead of me spouting bullshit because jealousy clouded my mind.

Andy is accompanying Jamie to his usual table, his hand on Jamie’s lower back, and his body close as if he’s trying to protect him from me, even if I’m not there any longer. My mood goes sour, and with a growl I leave them to it, but I vow to myself to come back and find a way to make him listen.

Whatever happened ten years ago, I had my faults, yes, and I regret them all. But I never wanted to harm him in any way.

How am I going to come back from what happened today?

He’s sure I haven’t changed, and my behaviour has given him plenty of proof. But it’s a lie. Ihavechanged. How am I going to prove it to him now?

Is there a way out of the hole I dug for myself?

Or maybe Jamie is right, and I am a dickhead, and I’m the only one who doesn’t want to admit it.

I need to stay away from him.

Chapter 7

Jamie

I still haven’t recovered from my encounter with Shane.

His behaviour reminded me so much of when we were in school. The way he treated Queen Lizzie, though, reminded me of when we first became friends. He treated me with the same gentle touch he used with Lizzie, the same care, and gave me the same undivided attention. I was like my dog, eating from the palm of his hand and craving his attention every moment we were together—and beyond. I’m glad I had more self-control or I would have humped his leg like Queen L did.

I used to crave spending all my time with Shane. He made my life a little less analytical and a lot more adventurous.

We never did anything dangerous; however, being with him was like standing atop a train going full speed.

He made my life exciting and kaleidoscopic, and every day we got to spend together left me wanting more and more.

Until… I prayed night and day for him never to look at me again. While my heart cried for him to be back by my side.

Why was he doing this to me again?

“You need to come to this appointment.” Alexi’s impatience at my lack of attention is like a wave of stormy water crashing against a rock.

“You know I’m the one who does the typing, and you’re the one who does the talking.”

”Idoknow that, but the client wants to see both of us at the meeting.”

---