Page 129 of Capri

“That’s not something you can claim to know until you’re in it, Jones. Until you’re living it. I’m talking about real-life struggles that tear people apart. That make marriages fail.”

I see the pain in his eyes. The misery rushing through him, caused by my spiral. “Do I need to spell it out for you, Capri? Stop putting him and I in the same category. I won’t fucking hurt you. What do I need to say or do to make you believe that?”

“At this point, this is entirely because of me. Not you.”

“Oh, don’t give me that shit. You’re so frustrating sometimes.” He tugs at his hair, gritting his teeth. “I give, and I give, and I give, only for you to turn around and do this. What more do you want from me?”

“Nothing! I want nothing, don’t you get it?” I yell, my heart shattering. “I can barely stand to see you with another woman like that. It hurts too fucking bad. And wanna know the worst part about seeing you with her?” He waits for me to tell him. “I knew in my heart it was innocent. I knew out of all the men I had fallen for, you’d be the last one to hurt me.”

“How is that a bad thing? It sounds a lot like you love me too!” His yelling matches mine, only heightening the emotions we’re feeling.

Our voices fill the space between us until they don’t; it’s nothing but the reality of right now. The silence says everything.

I shake my head. “We’re done, Jones. There’s nothing else to say.”

“None of this makes sense,” he says, convincing himself it’s true. “I refuse to believe that. How can you not see how great we are together?”

“It’s not that…”

“Then what is it?” Jones finds my hand again, only to regret it immediately.

“My husband abandoned me. How am I supposed to know you won’t abandon me like you did your mother?”

I suck in a sharp breath, my hand instantly covering my mouth in shock. “Oh, god. I didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have said that,” I blurt out in a panic.

But Jones is despondent. He hasn’t moved an inch since the most hurtful words I’ve possibly ever said left my mouth, penetrating a heart so fucking pure.

What was I thinking? No. No. Fuck. I didn’t mean it.

“Jones, please. Let me explain,” I cry out, reaching out, only for him to jerk away.

His voice is calm. “What are we doing?” He shakes his head in disbelief, lifting his glassy eyes to mine. His stare is cold and steady. “Why are you with me if you think so poorly of me? To say something like that. This isn’t healthy, Capri. You wasted no time stabbing me with my biggest insecurity. That’s not what I want for myself or you. We deserve better than that. I want to be with someone who supports me, who encourages me, and believe it or not, sees the best in me. I thought that was you.”

“I’m so sorry,” I plead. “I didn’t mean it. I said it out of hurt. Please, Jones,” I cry.

He’ll forgive me, right? He has to forgive me. He has to.

“I know you did. But you’re right. It’s over. I’ve spent too many years on my own, searching for a love I never thought I’d find, to waste it all on someone who can’t tackle her problems with a steady head. I know you’ve been through a lot this past year, and I was fully prepared to be whatever you needed to feel better and loved again. But I’m not sure that’s what’s best for us now. You have a lot of hurt inside of you. It seems you’ve got some work to do on yourself.”

I sit speechless as Jones stands, drops my key onto the passenger seat, and closes the door behind him.

42

CAPRI

Two Months Later

“Where is she?”

“Same place she’s been the past two months,” I hear Mom tell Collie.

I don’t have time to prepare before my bedroom door flies open, revealing Collie with eyes of fury.

“Oh, great. You’re up.” She trots into the room on a goddamn mission and hurls the blinds open, drowning me in painful sunlight.

“Jesus, Cols. What the fuck is your deal today?” I groan, covering my face with the blanket.

“Didn’t you hear? It’s intervention day, babe. A.K.A. get your ass up,” she shouts, ripping the blanket off of me and yanking my body up.

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