Page 136 of Family Bonds- Garrett & Justine

She barely got to his front porch and he was opening the door and then pulling her into his arms for a hug.

“I wanted to do this an hour ago but knew better not to.”

“I would have started to cry,” she said, sniffling. She didn’t want to cry now either, but she didn’t think she was going to be able to stop the flood of emotions that were swirling through her body.

She’d never been this emotional of a person in her life, but with everything that happened the past year, she supposed it was better than holding it all in.

“I know,” he said. “Come sit. Let me talk first if I can.”

“Sure,” she said. “Finish what you wanted to say to me before.”

“I didn’t tell you about Taylor. I made that decision not to and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. More than once we talked about the drama in our lives and we were working it out. It was just one more thing and maybe I was fearful that you’d walk away if you got hit with it all at once.”

She weighed his words. “I can see that,” she said. “I worried the same when you found out about my father and what I was going through. I even worried when I had the breakdown in Roark’s office.”

“You shouldn’t have worried at all but especially at that point. I love you. I knew you were going through a hard time and I wanted to be there for you. I wouldn’t have been anywhere else.”

“Just like when you got served the civil suit I didn’t go anywhere either,” she said. “I wasn’t going to let you do it alone. I know you. I’ve seen how you are with everyone. You put them first and yourself last. I think it all just built up and you exploded on Saturday.”

Her eyes dropped to his hand, the broken finger sticking out like a flashing sign of proof.

“I did,” he said. “I lost it because you mean so much to me and I knew I fucked up. It boils down to that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I can use all the excuses that it was too much drama early on, but I had no reason to not say something after. I’m positive at some point, I would have, I just don’t know when.”

“I believe you,” she said. “I really do. I think if Taylor hadn’t knocked on the door Saturday, you would have said something at some point. Whether it came up because I asked or something else triggered it. I had no right to get as upset over it as I did. You carry a lot of demons around too, but you hide yours so much better than anyone else. I don’t know if that’s healthy either.”

“I’ve been told that before,” he said. “I can try to change it, but it’s hard. With you, it hasn’t been as hard to change. It’s my love for you. I want to protect you at the same time protect what we have. If that means putting me last, it’s what happened.”

“And that is going to stop,” she said. “I know I’m horrible about running and avoiding tough things in life.”

“Not anymore,” he said. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“I am,” she said. “And some of that is because of you. A lot of that growth has come since I met you. I want to protect what we’ve got too and that means there are going to be times I put you first. That doesn’t mean I’m hiding my own feelings. It just means I love you enough that it’s your time. Or your moment. I’d like to think you can understand that.”

He looked as if he was weighing her words and she reached her hand over to lay it on his, careful of his broken finger.

She didn’t want only the words to come out of her mouth. She wanted her actions to be there too.

“I can understand that,” he said. “I’ve got my pride and my ego might be bigger than it needs to be.”

“Garrett,” she said. “No. That’s where you’re wrong. Your ego isn’t big at all. I don’t know anyone that would say that about you. What people say when they describe you is how kind and considerate you are. That you put the needs of everyone first. Your family even knows that. You need to putyourneeds first, and if it hurts someone else, if it hurts me, then I have to learn to get over it.”

“I don’t want you to get over it,” he said.

“Stop,” she said. “That isn’t what I mean. Nothing and no one is perfect. We both know that now even though I thought you were perfect early on. That’s your flaw.”

“What’s my flaw?” he asked, frowning.

“Not letting people see the cracks you’ve got in your life,” she said strongly. “We all have them. I know there is a time and place and who should or shouldn’t see them. Like your patients shouldn’t, but I think if they did see them, they’d think you were even more human.”

“You’re probably right,” he said.

“I know I am. Just like I know what we’ve got is strong. Nothing can break it. Nothing can breakus. You said what you wanted but are giving me time. I know that. You’ve never hidden it and you’ve found a balance between making it known and not pushing.”

“I’m glad you could see that,” he said.

“I’m making it known what I want. It’s you. Where we live or work makes no difference to me. I mean that. Home is with you. Work is where it falls. No decision needs to be made today, but know that I want us to make the best decision for us after we lay it all out. We’ll make it work. I’ll make it work.”

He pulled her close and hugged her. “Thank you for that,” he said. “Home is with you and as long as we agree on that point, the rest will be easy.”

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