Page 55 of Beachside Kisses With My Best Friend

“I can top that easy,” says Elisse, who’s sitting behind the computer inputting all of our names into the bowling lane we’ve rented for a Thursday girls’ night out at the Bowl O’Rama one town over. Or rather, nicknames she’s given us: Preggers (Lucy), Princess (Chloe), Sissy (Kelsey), Bestseller (April, who blushes and rolls her eyes at Elisse’s belief in her author-ly future), Boss (herself), and Wifey (me…yay, thanks for the reminder, Elisse).

Elisse pivots to face the rest of us, save her twin, who is still at the rack of balls trying to use her big brain to select the one that will help her win (whereas most of us chose what was lightest or prettiest). “For the wedding at the vineyard last weekend, the bride told all of her bridesmaids to dye their hair green to go with theBeetlejuicetheme. Which, ew, why?” As of last summer, Elisse works part-time for Chloe, coordinating events at her family vineyard and part-time for her parents doing marketing for wine tastings and purchases. “She changed the theme at the last minute, but one poor bridesmaid did not get the memo.”

“Oh no!” We all laugh, and then Elisse launches into boss mode with a “Preggers, you’re up.”

Lucy stands and salutes, gathering a ball and tossing it granny style down the lane, where it gutters before even reaching the pins. She shrugs and sashays to the ball retrieval to wait. Several disco balls glitter overhead in the alley, which is hopping tonight, mostly with older ladies and church groups. Over the speakers, Kelly Clarkson’s singing about being stronger even though she’s gone through pain.

I’m not sure if that’s true of me, but I want it to be.

Suddenly, there’s a gentle hand on my upper arm. “Mare, you okay?” Kelsey’s soft voice—the total opposite of her twin sister’s—is low, but everyone seems to snap to attention around me.

Her brow furrowed, Lucy ignores the ball that spins up from the ball return and stalks over to sit on my other side. “I’ve been wondering the same thing. You’ve been so quiet.”

Everyone else leans in.

Can they sense the internal battle I’ve been having for the last five days, ever since Jordan kissed chocolate off of me? When my brain got so muddled that it couldn’t catch up to what was happening, and I felt both relief and disappointment when Ryder interrupted us? When he called me Mommy and made every dream of mine come true—just before reality crushed my spirit?

“I…”

Just then, a waitress delivers two pizzas, three baskets of fries, and some buffalo wings. We all turn to Lucy with amused looks because she was only supposed to order us a few baskets of pretzel bites.

“What?” She snatches a fry. “I’m hungry.”

It must beat being sick all the time. I bump her with my shoulder. “Glad to see you doing better.”

“Same, girl, same.” Lucy pulls a slice of pizza off the greasy aluminum platter and shoves it onto a paper plate, then glances around at all of us. “Well, come on. Don’t let me be the only one eating.”

That’s all it takes for us to grab our own plates and dish up. “Chloe, how’s wedding planning going?” The fries are a bit salty for my taste, but better if drowned in ketchup, so I dunk one and blow on it before bringing it to my mouth.

She fingers the tie of her shirt as she gently swirls a cup of ice water. “Flutterbum’s at it again.”

We all giggle behind our food because, thanks to Chloe, we are all quite familiar with the antics of Kentonia’s official wedding planner, Felicia Butterflum, who is a force to be reckoned with. The thing is, so is Chloe, and as she launches into story after story of Felicia’s attempts to overrun Chloe’s big day with ridiculous royal demands, I find myself thankful that Jordan and I didn’t have to go through all of that. The only regret I have is that all of our friends weren’t there…

Then I catch myself.

Because what…?

I blink at my half-eaten pizza, which turns to cardboard in my mouth. When did I start thinking of our wedding day asreal?

I push my plate aside and grip my stomach, which tightens.

“You look pale,” Lucy whispers in my ear. “Like you’re going to throw up. And believe me, I know what that feels like. You need help getting to the bathroom?”

“No. I’m okay. I think.”

Lucy rubs my back, concern etched on her features. “What’s going on, then? Is it work?”

“No, although…”

My friends are suddenly quiet again. Geez. I’m not used to being the center of attention. But each one of them—even the often-grumpy Elisse—is gazing at me with love in their eyes. Full acceptance. They want to know, truly know, what’s going on in my life. And too often, I keep things inside or only share what I’m thinking with one or two people. Usually Jordan.

Lately, though…

Chloe wipes her mouth with a napkin. “Although what?” she prompts with her gentle accent. Despite the rocking music blaring through the space, we feel cocooned in this moment. “Last we heard, you agreed to take over for Marla. When’s that go into effect?”

“Supposed to be the end of the month.” So, like, two weeks. “We’ve spent the last week training on the budgeting and billing systems, the backend stuff. It’s a lot more technical than I thought it’d be.”

“I remember how overwhelming that was when I ran the Robin for a few months last year when Winona was out of town.” Lucy pats my knee. “But you’ll figure it out.”

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