Page 36 of Beachside Kisses With My Best Friend

“I get it. I already feel that way about my kid, and he or she isn’t even born yet.” Blake frowns. “But I know my sister. She loves with her whole heart, and she’d do anything for anyone.”

“You’re right.” And it’s a precious thing. Too many people in this world are the exact opposite. Ungiving, undeserving. Selfish.

I fear I might be one of those people. I think Blake knows it too.

Blake chalks up again before taking another shot, but this time he scratches. Leaning down, he pulls the solid blue ball from a pocket and sets it on the table. “All I’m saying is, I don’t like to see her taken advantage of. But I gave her my perspective on this whole thing, and she didn’t want to hear it. So now, I’m telling you.”

I retrieve the cue ball and set it down, line up to take a shot. “Telling me what?”

“I know what she means to you.”

I miss. By a lot. “Do you?” My voice shakes and I look away, clearing my throat before I glance back.

“Yeah, it’s kind of obvious, especially after that display last night.”

“Oh.” I figured, but hearing it confirmed…

Great.

“Okay, so… What?”

Blake runs his thumb down the top of the stick. “Donny really messed with her, and I didn’t step in to stop it. That’s one of my biggest regrets in life. I won’t stand by again and watch her get hurt.”

Shoot. Blake’s a good guy, my friend, and more than that, Marilee’s only close relative. I don’t want him thinking badly of me. “Look, I need you to hear this. The last thing I want to do is hurt Marilee.”

“I know, man, but this whole thing reeks of hurt. Lucy tells me I just need to be patient, to trust that what’s supposed to happen will happen, but I can see a world in which Marilee feels obligated to love you back just because she’s too afraid to hurt you. Or lose you.”

I feel like he’s jabbed his cue stick directly into my stomach. “I don’t want that either.” And maybe that kiss showed her all my cards. Maybe, without meaning to, I put too much pressure on her.

“Good.” Blake sinks two balls in a row. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.” With one ball left, he’s about to win.

Not that I care. This whole game is a sham—just like, apparently, my marriage.

But I knew that. Iknowthat.

And I need to remember that, over and over again, until it’s drilled into my brain and there’s no room left for pesky things like hope.

Marilee did me a huge favoronlybecause she cares about me as a friend.

And no matter how much I loved kissing her—or how much she seemed to enjoy kissing me back—I will not be another Donny in her life. I will not demand more of her than she’s willing or able to give.

Even if I wish things could be different.

ten

MARILEE

Parenting is an excellent distraction from the rest of life. It can be all consuming if you let it. And in this moment, I’m riding that train all the way to the sunset, baby.

First, because Ryder and Scarlett are absolute dolls, and I adore them with all that I am. And second, because I baked my fingers to the bone yesterday, and so today, baking can no longer serve to divert my attention from Friday night’s Kiss-Gate—as my friends have taken to calling it in our group text thread.

So, kicking around a soccer ball and building sandcastles and picnicking on the beach?

Yep. Today, parenting is winning.

We’ve been here for hours—me and Ryder and Scarlett and Jordan—and the kids still have energy to burn. After stuffing them full of turkey sandwiches, chips, fruit, and peanut butter bars, they’re ready to ramp up and go again, so Jordan’s out there near the water, chasing them around in a rousing game of tag while I clean up.

My whole body sinks into the blanket as I finally close the lid on the wicker picnic basket. The sand and grass are soft where I sit on the bluff overlooking the ocean, which gently undulates against the shore. I think that’s one reason I like this spot so well—instead of rocking waves that crash and toss, the rounded shoreline allows for a slower pace. The water still laps, the tide still comes, but it’s calmer. It allows the perfect opportunity for thinking.

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