Page 10 of Beachside Kisses With My Best Friend

I chuckle. “I believe we all saw each other Saturday night at the barbecue in your very own backyard, Bea.” Lucy and Blake invited their closest family and friends over to announce their pregnancy, and Burt and Bea hosted.

Bea waves her hand in the air. “That hardly counts. I didn’t get a chance to catch up. How’s your mama doing? We’ve missed her at book club.”

“She’s feeling a bit better than last week. She had to miss Ryder’s birthday dinner and felt really bad about it.”

“Oh, how’s the little man doing?” Janine asks.

“He’s great. Loving being five now.” I take a sip of my coffee while glancing surreptitiously at the white clock hanging on the black brick wall behind the counter. A stitch of impatience pulls at my chest. Because the clockface tells me all I need to know—I’ve got only a handful of hours left until preschool is over, and I’ll either be able to finish the work that’s piling up or calling in yet another favor to Marilee, who I’ve been relying on far too much lately.

Marilee, whose words from last week I can’t get out of my brain:“I value your opinion, and you’re one of the only ones I trust to always tell me the truth.”

The truth?

Ha. She couldn’t handle my truth.

“The poor dear.”

Bea’s words snap my attention back to the town matriarchs beside me. “What’s that?” I say.

Janine tuts and pushes a strand of her gray bob behind her ear. “Is he still having nightmares about his mama being gone?”

I feel the band around my chest tighten. I know it’s not my fault Ryder’s going through this. But he already had to deal with parents who didn’t live together, who didn’t even love each other.

Who were only in each other’s lives permanently after a one-night stand—something I’ve never done before and have never done since, the combined effect of rejection and alcohol.

He already had to live with the consequences of my poor decisions and broken heart, but then to lose his mom when he was just barely four years old?

I want so much more for my little man than the year he’s had. Than the life I’ve been able to give him.

I clear my throat. “He’s back to sleeping in his own room, thankfully. Of course there are still some nights when the bad dreams come…”

“Of course, dear, of course.” Bea’s strong arm pats my shoulder. “You’re such a good daddy.”

What do I even say to that? Because I want to be. But I can’t help feeling like I’ve failed him. I try not to take work home, to be fully present for him when I’m there. But that doesn’t help during my busy season, when I can’t be home at all. Because when you run an adventure tours company and are one of the only guides…well, sometimes you literallycan’tbring it home.

Thankfully, I make enough to support us. But being a small business owner at a start-up company—and being a dad on top of that—is not for the faint of heart.

I don’t want much in this life, just to take care of my people as best I can. To make things as smooth and easy for them as possible.

But Mom’s sick, Dad’s an alcoholic, and they’re living paycheck to paycheck. Ryder’s mom-less and has to be over at his other grandparents’ house or with Marilee more than he’s with me. And Marilee…

I shift my weight from one foot to the other. “You’re kind to say so.”

Janine leans in close like she’s divulging a secret. “So?—”

“I know that look.” Bea yanks Janine upright. “Leave the poor man alone.”

“What?” Janine presses a hand to her chest, her mouth screwed into a smile that’s about as innocent as a toddler with a dirty diaper. “I was merely going to ask?—”

“I know what you were going to ask,” Bea says. “And you don’t need to.”

I’m glad Bea is sure, because I’ve got no clue. But now that the flow of conversation is broken, it’s the perfect place to finally assert myself and escape. “It was great running into you ladies, but I’m needed at work. Mandy’s holding down the fort alone.” Not that my assistant minds. She’s used to my wonky schedule.

“Of course. Get on, now.” Bea makes a shooing motion, and I take the chance to get out of Dodge.

A breeze greets me as I duck out of the building. I toss a wave to Adam Painter across the street, where he’s sweeping sand off the deck of Rainbow Ice. In between the ice cream shop and The Green Robin restaurant sits Blake’s black-and-white food truck, its serving window shuttered until about eleven, when he’ll start grilling up some of the town’s best fare. His wife alternates between working as a waitress inside the Robin and helping him out at the truck, which has turned into a thriving business.

The man’s got it all. Plus a kid on the way.

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