Page 40 of Your Pucking Mom

Ledger seemed content and chill as I fumbled.

I stared down at him. “Get up,” I whispered, his lips glistening from my arousal. “Get yourself in the bathroom.”

A slow smirk spread on his lips. “I can’t be mad right now. That was worth the twelve hour wait.”

After pulling my pants up, I grabbed Ledger by his hoodie and dragged him toward the bathroom.

“I swear to God, this can never happen again,” I whisper-yelled.

He bowed his head. “I know.”

“It never should’ve happened in the first place,” I huffed, adjusting my thong, then pulled down my sweater and crossed my hands over my chest.

“You got a little something here.” Ledger went to touch my curls but I pulled away, flinching. “Sorry.”

Everything came crashing down around me. He was just devouring me whole and still hesitated after I flinched.

“Ledger…” He turned away.

“We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, Auburn. It’s probably best if we just forget the past twenty-four hours ever happened,” he said, his tone heavy with finality.

I swallowed hard, knowing he was right, but it was difficult to accept. I wanted to explain why I flinched, to share everything with him, but he was Austin’s mentor.

There could be nothing between us. It was impossible to imagine a world where we could be together, so pretending like we lived in this fairy tale was a lost cause.

He had taught me men could be safe and warm and kind. That was a lesson worth having. I needed to let him go, though, and go back to pretending like we didn’t know each other.

Nodding, I watched as he left the room. Austin’s voice brought me back to reality, and I hobbled over to where he stood in the center of the changing room, his brows furrowed.

“Mom, are you okay? I heard you weren’t feeling well. Did Cap take care of you?” His words held a different meaning, but I could only nod and reassure him I was fine.

“Are you ready to go back out there?” Austin asked.

“If it’s okay with you, baby, I think I want to call it a day and head home. I barely slept last night, and I’m exhausted,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Should I take you to a doctor?”

“I’m fine,” I insisted, my tone light but hiding a myriad of emotions.

When dropping Austin at his house, I claimed that my hip was hurting and I was too exhausted so I didn’t have to go up. Fortunately, I found a parking spot right outside of my apartment before I practically bolted up the stairs.

I had all intentions of cleaning up the mess from earlier, but I passed out on the bed after throwing the covers over myself and wallowing. It was so fast and wild with Ledger, but he was right. I couldn’t risk Austin’s career. I’d worked too hard to help him get here.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw his face, and as much as I willed the tears not to come, the floodgates opened. The truth was staring me right in the face, and I was terrified. I was so scared of opening my heart, making selfish decisions, and using this move as a fresh start for myself.

I was terrified of being alone. Throughout my entire adult life, I had never truly been alone, even when I was surrounded by my teenage son. I had never felt touch-starved before, but after the way Ledger handled me in that locker room, everything changed. I realized I was starving for his touch, craving the warmth, light, and safety he provided. I picked up my phone, dialed Emma’s number, and she picked up on the first ring.

“Come on, old lady. It’s past your bedtime. What’re you doing calling me this late?” Her cheerful mood made my tears pour out.

“Em?” I asked through sobbed hiccups.

“What happened?” Her tone quickly shifted to that of concern.

“I think I need you.”

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