Page 90 of Dice & Dekes

I point at him. “Bingo.”

He gets us signed in, then takes us back to a room with two massage tables. Soothing music plays over the speakers. The whole place smells a little… savory. I stop by a weird, irregularly-shaped pink lamp and sniff it a few times. “Are we about to be cured of our demons by Himalayan salt energy? Because honestly, I’m game.”

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing. My mom got into salt lamps for a while.” Knova is already unbuttoning her jeans.

I whistle and wiggle my eyebrows. “Well, hello there.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “We’re here for a massage, Viktor.”

“A man’s allowed to be excited by his wife’s naked body.” I reach for the hem of my own shirt, then hesitate. “Wait, does this mean you and Baylor undressed together?”

She scoffs. “Sweetheart, I was in the military. If you want to fight everyone who’s ever seen me naked, you’re going to have to work on your stamina.”

“I’d rather save my stamina for other things.”

Knova mumbles something under her breath, but she’s smiling.

The masseuses cheer when they arrive. “Welcome, newlyweds!” one of them says.

The other one peers at Knova’s face. “Don’t I know you? Haven’t you been here before? Like, recently?”

“Long story,” Knova says.

After weeks of getting beaten up by Violet Sawyer, having someone go easy on me is a real pleasure. I relax into the experience, smiling to myself every time Knova lets out a satisfied sigh. Yeah, this was the right way to kick off today’s events.

“What now?” Knova asks when it’s time to pull our clothes back on. “Do you want to go home and maybe…?” She shimmies her hips in a way that is simultaneously hilarious and kinda hot.

“Later. I have plans for you today.”

“Your loss,” she says. “What’s next on the agenda, then?”

“Mani-pedis.”

Knova does a double-take with her bra halfway on. “You’re getting a mani-pedi.”

“We both are. It sounds fun, and we could both do with some self-care. Things have been so hectic lately.” I hold out my arm for her to take. “Come on, our appointment’s in ten minutes, and we don’t want to be late.”

Knova seems surprised when we don’t leave the building, but simply relocate to another part of the spa. “This is so fancy,” she whispers, eyeing up the aromatherapy displays that make the whole room smell faintly of oranges and vanilla. “My usual place is in a building the size of a storage closet.”

I glance around at the marble countertops and orchid arrangements. “This place makes my childhood doctor’s office look like a prison lobby.”

A pair of manicurists gets us settled in chairs that turn out to have a vibrating massage feature.

“We should get one of these for the house,” Knova sighs. She settles back and lets her nail tech get to work.

When the woman in charge of my pedicure touches my feet, I let out an involuntary shriek. She jumps back like I kicked her.

“Sorry!” she says. “I thought—”

“No, it’s my bad.” I clear my throat. “Sorry, the bottoms of my feet are just a little… ticklish.”

“Really?” Knova’s eyes light up. “I’m saving that little tidbit for later.”

“Use it against me and I’ll tell everyone about your Costco-level obsession with cheese cubes.”

“I am not ashamed,” she replies with zero hesitation.

I force myself to relax as the nail tech touches my feet a little more gingerly. It takes an active effort to relax into the process, but by the time I’m done, I feel like a whole new person.

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