Page 12 of The Court of Thorns and Wings

His eyes lightened to silver. “I wish I could say I regret kidnapping you, but I can’t.”

I started, not expecting that.

“If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here with you now, and that’s unfathomable. I’m a selfish, entitled moron who regrets everything that happened to you, but I can’t find the remorse you deserve for bringing you here and setting off this entirechain of events.” He hung his head like the guilt weighed on him. “Which gives you every right to hate me and every reason to get far, far away from me.” His eyes glistened as he stared into my eyes, warning me away. “If you want to leave, you’re free to go. I won’t make you stay. I just hope you don’t for my own selfish sake.”

The little bit of a wall I’d constructed around my heart shattered. His giving me the freedom to decide whether to stay or leave made things desperately clear, even though my head screamedno. “I want to stay, but I fear what might happen to us.” The simple truth couldn’t be ignored. Even if I wanted to leave, I couldn’t. Not now… not with him saying these things.

He winced. “You should want to get far away from me. In fact, I should make you.” A tear trailed down his cheek as his irises turned stormy. “For your own safety, you should leave now before I change my mind and refuse to let you go. I’m struggling—and knowing it’s best for you to leave is the only thing forcing me to say the words. If you don’t leave and change your mind later, I won’t be strong enough not to hunt you down. Do you understand?”

Why did the sound of him hunting me down thrill me? I was tempted to try it just for the thrill of seeing his desperation to retrieve me, but even considering doing that made me feel guilty.

At the end of the day, I wanted him to know I felt the same way. “I understand, and I’m not going anywhere.” I wiped the stray tear from his face. “You’re right, though. You’re the reason for everything I’ve gone through since you brought me here, so why the sudden change?”

“I struggled with your situation the entire time, but you were Seelie, and it was easier to hang on to that hatred. I felt a pull toward you, but I thought that maybe if you went away, I wouldn’t struggle anymore.” He flinched. “But the more time wespent together, the stronger the tug became—until I had to open my eyes.”

He huffed but didn’t pull away. “You met every challenge that came your way head-on, even when the odds weren’t in your favor. You showed empathy, strength, and a resilience I never knew existed, and the way it pained you so much to kill one of us despite how we treated you forced me to open my eyes and actually seeyou. I hate that it took me so damn long.” His jaw clenched.

And that was what I needed to know. “This moment right here, with you opening up to me and baring your soul, made it all worth it. If you feel for me half of what I do for you, there’s no question where I need to be.”

He caught my hand, and the buzz from his touch warmed my body even more. He whispered, “Some of my people will still want to kill you. You’ll still be at risk here, and your parents will eventually come for you. My guards may not be able to fight them off, so you’ll have to make a stand. That’s too much to ask.”

“It’s not.” I stepped into him, our chests touching. “I don’t even remember them, Tavish. My parents are the ones on Earth, the ones Finnian is fetching. They raised me when my biological ones passed me off without a second thought. Standing up to them won’t be hard because they’re strangers.”

“They won’t be for much longer.” His free hand touched the top of my sparkly sea-green wing. “Your magic is returning, which means your memories will be restored at any moment.”

The way he touched my wings almost had a groan slipping out. I’d never felt anything so intimate before, but I’d had wings for only a few days. That had to be why. Still, need burrowed deep in my stomach.

“I’ve given you no reason to want to stay here. It’s merely the fated-mate bond forcing you to speak this way.” He scanned my face, taking in every crevice.

“Fated mate?” Finnian had alluded to some sort of connection, but he hadn’t named it. Is that what he’d meant?

He sighed. “Right. You don’t remember. It’s when a soul is halved and placed in two separate people. They’re only whole when together, and it’s Fate’s way of marking the perfect person for you. It’s rare and precious, and the magical markings indicate what we are to each other and also make it clear to everyone around us. It causes the buzzing between us and the urge to be next to one another. The connection makes us want to be together, even when it’s bad for us.”

The explanation made so much sense, and somehow, it made me even more certain. “I could say the same for you, but I know that’s not true.” I cupped his face, lifting his head so he stared into my eyes. “You took care of me in your own way, even when you didn’t want to. You saved me from a guard who wanted to disfigure me when you didn’t have to. You had me stay in your bedroom instead of a horrid prison cell that smelled of bodily fluids while giving me a comfortable place to sleep, clean clothes, and a bathtub.”

“I made you sleep on the floor, and you were attacked in the tub.” Tavish’s jaw clenched. “If only I could kill my cousin—”

“You did what you could with the debt you owe him.” I placed a finger over his lips, wanting him to allow me to finish. He had to stop beating himself up so much. “You clothed me, fed me, and allowed Nightbane to stay with me to protect me. You kept me safe, even from your own people.”

He winced. “I should’ve done it sooner. You never should have suffered through the gauntlet.”

“I believe the gauntlet is the reason my power has started coming back.” Until I’d been forced to protect myself and get through perilous situations, I hadn’t shown any changes. “And if you hadn’t kidnapped me, we wouldn’t be having this moment. It sucks that it took all that for us to get here, but if we can moveforward stronger together, then everything will have been worth it.”

“Don’t say that. What you went through was unbear—”

I was tired of him talking, so I kissed him.

He froze but didn’t pull away, so I brushed my tongue over his lips, needing to taste him.

“Blast,” he groaned, opening his mouth to allow me entrance.

I slid my arms around his neck, my sides aching a tad, but not enough to make me stop. The taste of what I could only describe as velvet night and frosty air made me want more. My fingers twined into his hair as I pressed my body to his.

We’d kissed like this only once before, and it’d been cut short when he noticed the magical tattoo on my chest. This time, nothing would stop us, even if I had to take the lead.

He wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me flush against him. Then he dropped his hands and tried to step back quickly.

I let him go as a sharp ache shot through my heart. “Did I do something wrong?”

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