Even if I knew it was probably not smart to let myself pursue it.
As I drifted to sleep, there was one thing I was very clear on, though.
I couldn’t open up to him.
I couldn’t tell him about my past, about the club, about the people inside of it, about the men who made me need to gather only what I could carry and sneak out while everyone was asleep.
It was too risky.
There was too much at stake.
Because if Rook knew everything, there was no way in hell he would go through with marrying me.
Not even if it was fake.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Rook
I wasn’t sure if I’d comforted Tessa or made shit worse by bringing up her fucked-up past.
I mean, no, I had no idea what she’d been through. But everything about how she responded to me—or toward things involving me—made me believe I was on the money about her life prior to Shady Valley involving a fuckuva lot of abuse.
If not physical, then at least mental. And after that whole “Ihaveto” thing, I was pretty sure it was sexual too. Even if she didn’t even recognize that yet herself.
I won’t lie; I wanted to know it all. I wished she would just… walk over, sit down, and spill about everything she’d been through.
But after the party at the club—that I’d left early and crashed in one of the empty bedrooms—I’d woken up to learn that Tessa had already gotten up, eaten breakfast, and headed back to the apartment. According to Coach, who was outside when I went to look for her.
I caught a ride into town with Detroit, who was heading to the gym, and managed to catch Tessa coming out of the bathroom in a towel with another on her head.
“Oh.”
“Sorry,” I said, averting my gaze. “I should have… knocked.”
“On the door of your own apartment?”
“It’sourapartment,” I reminded her.
“I just need a few minutes to get dressed, and I’ll be ready.” At my blank look, she added, “The drug test. We told Nancy we’d go first thing in the morning.”
“Right. Okay. Let me just grab a shower too.”
I’d taken one the night before at the clubhouse, needing a few minutes alone to deal with the frustrated desire that I didn’t want Tessa to know about.
But seeing her in a towel, skin all pink—yeah—I needed another few minutes of alone time before we headed out together.
By the time I came back out of the shower, Tessa was in a pair of cut-off jean shorts that showed off a nice chunk of leg, flip-flops, and a simple white tee.
Still, she was ridiculously fucking gorgeous.
“So how far is this place?”
“It’s about half an hour outside of town.”
“I’m shocked Nancy lets you go that far.”
“Right?” I asked, snorting. “You wanna take your car? Or my bike?”