Page 110 of Rook

“Ma, what are you doing?” I asked as I climbed off my bike to find her walking around with no fewer than eight hummingbird feeders in her hands.

I felt it then—that little tightening in my stomach, long-buried but familiar. The fear that this was it, the moment I’d been bracing myself for. A manic episode.

“Washing the feeders?” she said, brows furrowed.

“Why?”

“Because mold and mildew grow on them in the hot weather, and it can hurt or even kill the hummingbirds…”

“Oh, okay,” I said, feeling the tension leave my shoulders.

“Worried about me?” she asked, giving me a soft smile. “I’m doing just fine.”

She was, too.

There was a time when I was very young when I remembered her being balanced for this long. But this was the first time since then that I wasn’t constantly anxious about another bad cycle.

Yes, there had been a few times when she’d been a little down, or maybe a bit up, here and there. But the medications had been keeping her almost perfectly even since she’d left the state health facility.

She was gardening, working, going to art classes and book club, exercising, keeping house, and going to therapy.

This was the woman she’d always been capable of being. If only they’d found the right meds earlier on.

Tessa asked me once, cuddled close at my side, if I was upset or resentful that I hadn’t gotten to have this version of my mother growing up.

And, sure, life would have been a hell of a lot easier.

But everything that had happened in my childhood made me the man I was, had pushed me onto the path to meet my club brothers, and, of course, Tessa.

It was hard to wish for a different life when it led to such a beautiful one eventually.

“I can see that,” I agreed. “Need any help with that?”

“Both our hands don’t need to get sticky. What are you doing here? Don’t you have a wife you should be celebrating right now?”

“I’m on my way there. I had to stop in a town out this way to pick up part of her gift. Figured I’d stop by and see you.”

“While I love it here, and will miss nosey Mrs. Winters, I am really looking forward to being closer to you all.”

It would mean a lot of change for her again. New work, new places, new people. But if she was excited about it, I was going to be too.

“We’re looking forward to that too. Are you still coming by later?”

“There’s no way I am missing out on that cake that I’ve been hearing Tessa rave about for months.”

“It really is that good. Alright, I gotta go pick up some pizza dough before heading back.”

That’s right.

Tessa was getting her own long-overdue personal pan pizza and her pin.

But because she was now a grown-ass woman, not a little girl, she was going to get several little personal pan pizzas with all her favorite toppings.

The girls were helping me out by taking her shopping for the day, so I could get everything all cooked up.

I’d just pulled the last little pizza out of the oven when I heard rushed footsteps outside.

“I got the coolest—” Tessa said, her voice excited, but trailing off when she saw the whole setup. Which was a mix of bookish and birthday decor.

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