Page 25 of Crash

“Kids, go to the TV room and put on some cartoons. Tristan, leave Uncle Jake alone for a minute and take your little brother. Take Emma too, okay?” Troy says.

Tristan reluctantly leaves Jake’s side. Mom takes the kids out of the room and comes back minutes later.

“Explain why my granddaughter is so upset?” Mom crosses her arms and looks directly at Troy, waiting for an answer.

“Hey, Clarks!” Before we can get any explanation, Jake’s best friend, and honorary Clark brother, JD, walks through the door, carrying his almost one-year-old daughter, Addison, while holding on to his wife’s hand. When Addison sees us, she reaches over for her mother, who takes her from JD.

JD kisses my mom and hands her a bouquet of flowers. Next, he kisses Tracy and attempts to kiss Sandy, but my brother playfully blocks him. “Why is it so somber in here? Normally the old man is putting a drink in my hand the minute I cross the threshold.”

“Grab yourself a beer, JD,” the creator says to JD. He looks over at JD’s wife, who is now taking the coat off the baby. “Alex, help yourself to whatever you want. You two are right on time because we’re still waiting on an explanation from my son and Tracy. You two,” Dad says pointing at Troy and Tracy, “start talking.”

“My brother happened,” Tracy begins. “He showed up at our house two hours ago with a new baby. Even though he and Beth couldn’t or wouldn’t take care of Emma, they weren’t responsible enough to prevent another pregnancy. I had no idea I had another niece. He shows up drunk and the baby wasn’t even in a car seat. We’ve been running around trying to find a store that’s opened today. Troy had to install the car seat at a Target parking lot. And my brother scared the shit out of Emma. Told her he was taking her back if she didn’t hug him.” Tracy slams her hand on the counter. “I hate him!” She puts her face in both hands and starts to sob.

“That son of a bitch,” my mother says. The baby starts to cry, and Troy rocks her. He walks over to where Tracy is sitting and rubs her back.

“We’ll deal with it, Tray. Sit here and I’ll go get her freshened up. Sandy, Alex, can you stay with her?” Sandy nods at Troy. “JD come with me. I need your help with something.” The two leave the room, leaving the rest of us to endure the awkward silence after Tracy’s speech. I look around the room and catch Jake’s eye. He shrugs as he mouths ‘what the fuck?’ at me.

Jake walks over to Alex, gives her a kiss, and holds out his hands to Addison, who happily goes to my brother.

“She loves her Uncle Jake,” he says, kissing her temple.

“How can he do this again?” Tracy asks no one in particular. “All the shit he made us go through before he signed over his rights to Emma. Do you know we had to pay him off? At least Beth did the right thing and relinquished her rights, but my brother is an opportunist. Our family was complete, I thought. It’s so hard, Sandy,” Tracy says, grabbing Sandy’s hand. “Emma is smart but she’s behind, and I think it’s because Beth drank and did who knows what else when she was pregnant with her. Travis is great, but his speech is delayed. We are going to start potty training him, and I was thinking of going back to school, at least part-time, but now I have a one-month-old again. I’m so selfish because I don’t want to do this, but I can’t let her live with my brother and Beth. They think they have a free pass to keep having children they have no intention of raising.”

She removes her hand from Sandy’s and rubs her face. “For the first time in my life, I feel like I need a drink.” She looks around the room, her eyes landing on my rum.

“Um, let me get you some water instead,” I say as I run to the fridge.

“Tracy, that doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you human. You’re still in shock, but it will be okay,” Sandy says.

“You’re allowed your feelings, Tracy,” Alex says. “There is no wrong or right way to feel. This was dropped on your lap today. Give yourself a break.”

“The girls are right, Tracy. We’re here to help you. You should get full-time help. You run yourself ragged trying to do everything, and a part-time nanny just won’t cut it now. Hire someone full-time. I’m here to help, and so is the rest of the family,” my mother says. “But you’re right about one thing. You can’t let that beautiful little baby go live with that man. You’ll never forgive yourself.”

“I know.”

“I’ll help you search for a full-time nanny,” my mother offers.

“You don’t have to. I know you just tolerate me around here, Lil, or should I say Mrs. Clark?” Tracy says, bitterness lacing her words, reminding the entire room that my mother has only recently been civil to Tracy.

My mother throws her hands up in frustration. Jake looks around the room. “I think I’ll go see what Troy and JD are talking about. You want to come, old man?”

Dad whispers something in my mom’s ear before following Jake out of the kitchen.

Sandy finally speaks up.

“That’s unfair, Tracy. She’s offering to help, and whatever happened in the past, she loves Emma like her own.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just so angry at James.”

“What’s the baby’s name?” I finally ask.

“Rosalyn Grace, but she goes by Rosie,” Tracy says. “She’s named after my mother.” She smiles slightly.

The doorbell rings, and I jog to the front of the house, relieved to be away from that heavy conversation. When I open the door, the last person I expect to see is Vivienne as she holds a huge box with the bakery logo.

When she sees me, the change in her posture tells me she wasn’t expecting me to open the door. She holds out the box to me, but I don’t take it. I take her in instead. I haven’t seen her in weeks. She looks the same, but her cheeks are pink, probably from the chilly fall air. Her hair is still a wild mess of wavy locks, desperately in need of moisture and a brush.

She’s wearing that same ugly black coat she put on the last time I saw her. The last time I had her pressed against the wall. The time my dick got hard and brushed against her thigh. The time I felt her breasts on my bare chest.

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