Page 89 of Crash

“I didn’t hide. I told you I was leaving, and you have absolutely no business being mad at me,” I say as I point to myself. “You’re the one keeping secrets. I asked you point-blank about that bitch and you gave me some bullshit about her not being who you thought she was. Come to find out, she was pregnant with your child and you were ready to marry her.” He finally stops his pacing and fixes his angry eyes on me again. He takes a menacing step toward me, but I hold my ground. “Is this what you do, Luke? Ask every woman to marry you.”

“Bullshit.” He steps back and runs a hand through his hair. He takes several deep breaths and when he looks at me again, he’s less angry. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you everything, Vivi. That was shitty of me, but I’ve done nothing but show you how I feel about you. I told Tori this to her face. Things with her ended years before we began, and any feelings I had for her died a long time ago. Don’t you dare use this to push me away. That’s what you’re doing, but I’m not going to let you.”

“What else are you keeping from me?” I ask, my arms crossed. “How do I know you still don’t have feelings for her?”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Vivienne?” He rubs his temples as he walks to me. He stands right in front of me and takes both of my hands. “I was in a relationship with Tori. I can’t go back and change that. I thought I loved her, and I thought she loved me too. I was a fool. You know what I’m not a fool about? You. I fucking love you so damn much, and I know you love me too, so what is this about?” I try to pull my hands away, but he holds on.

“Talk to me, love,” he says gently. He pulls me towards the bed and when he sits down, he pulls me on his lap.

“I’m not your type,” I say.

“What?”

“The way I look. The way I am. I’m nothing like the women you were into before. What if I’m just a temporary distraction?”

He throws his head back, but not before I see his exasperated eye roll.

“Love, out of the two of us, you’re supposed to be the smart one. You’re my type. Everything about you. Your looks. Your fire. Your heart. Your mind. Everything about you is my type. I want everything with you. You’re my future. Don’t use this as a way to push me away. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” I say, laying my head on his shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I left. I was hurt you didn’t confide in me, and I hate the idea of you and her. At one time you loved her enough to want to marry her. I was scared you’d realize I was a mistake too.”

He pulls me closer and kisses my forehead. “Oh, love. You’re the best mistake I ever made. Listen, she told me from the beginning she wasn’t ready for motherhood. I brought up marriage because I wanted the baby. Yes, I did care for her, but I never even considered marriage until she told me she was pregnant. It’s all I think about with you. Can we be done with this fight, please?”

“Did she really do that?” I ask, breathless.

“Yes. The day you asked me about her, I had just gotten you back and the last thing I wanted to talk about was that. That was a horrible time in my life. And I knew what you’d say.”

I look up at him. His face is void of any expression.

“You can read my mind now?”

“I don’t have to read your mind to know you’re one of those my body, my choice types.”

I twist out of his hold and turn to face him. I grab both of his hands and intertwine our fingers.

“I can’t speak for anyone else, Lucas, but it would not bemychoice, okay. Do you want to know what I would have done? I would have told you to get your head out of your ass so you can help me raise our baby. That’s what I would have done! I’m sorry you went through that. For the record, I think you would have been a great father.”

He’s silent but I feel him relax underneath me. His hand gently strokes my hair.

“You think so?”

“I know it. You adore your nieces and nephews and the feeling is mutual. Victoria Palmer is not fit to shine your shoes, Lucas Clark. Honestly, it’s a good thing I came along when I did because who knows who else you’d be with. Probably Zoey,” I joke.

“Definitely not Zoey,” he says, kissing my hair. “What I had with Tori wasn’t love or anything close to it. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. You’re my person, Vivi.”

“And you’re mine, Luke.”

“Luke loves Vivi.”

“Vivi loves Luke.”

“There you two are,” my mother says when we finally walk out of the bedroom. She smiles and visibly relaxes when she sees our intertwined hands. “I’m going to make a salad while the lasagna cooks,” she says, pointing at the oven. “I’m so glad I made this a couple of nights ago. It’s extra meaty, Lucas. One of you set the table. It’s snowing pretty heavily now. Maybe you two should spend the night. I don’t want you driving in this mess.”

I open my mouth to make the argument that we have no clothes, but Luke surprises me when he says he packed us a bag before he came over here. I’m left to set the table while he runs outside to retrieve the bag.

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