Page 73 of Crash

“Not the same, Lucas. I had no choice. She did.” Her voice is as tight as her body right now. She crosses her arms across her breasts, denying me access.

“Yes, but maybe she didn’t feel like she had a choice either. I’m not going to pretend I understand, but maybe she suffered too. She’s still suffering.” I pull her body back to mine. “I’m on your side. Always. No questions asked. I didn’t grow up with a sister, but one thing I learned from Tracy over the years is how complicated the mother-daughter relationship can be. Her mom had substance abuse issues and died when Tracy was still a teenager, but your mom is still here. I’m not saying you two will be best friends, but she’s reaching out. Listening to her can only help you. Maybe you can form a relationship, or maybe you’ll realize you can never have one, but either way, you’ll have some closure. That’s all I want. Please, don’t be mad at me.”

She doesn’t speak for several minutes, but she doesn’t try to leave the tub either. The water cools, but she stays in my arms. I sneak a peek at her face and her cheeks are pink, a clear sign that she’s irritated.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m just not in a place where I can talk to her. Not right now. I like our bubble.” She pushes away from me and stands up, splashing water on the floor as she steps out of the tub. She yanks the towel from the rack and quickly ties it around her body before walking out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

I’m right behind her and still wrapping my towel around my waist when I walk into her bedroom. Drops of water from my hair and chest fall on the plush carpet beneath my feet.

“So much for you not being mad,” I say.

“I’m not mad!” She yells, jerking her drawers open. She pulls out some clothes and storms back to the bathroom. I catch the door before it shuts in my face.

“You seem pretty mad to me,” I say as calmly as I can. She ignores me as she takes off her towel, revealing her naked body. I have no time to admire her physique as she angrily tugs on her underwear and puts on her bra.

I take her hand as she’s reaching for her sweater.

“Hey,” I say, turning her around to face me, “Luke loves Vivi.”

The fight goes out of her immediately. She looks at me, eyes filled with tears, before she wraps her arms around me, holding me close.

“Vivi loves Luke,” she says. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t want to talk about her. Today was supposed to be about us. I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of ruining it.”

“She didn’t ruin anything. Today has been perfect.”

“I’ll say one last thing, and then I want to get back to our bubble. I know she has some mental health issues. I’ve known that for a while, but I never considered the other things she did. I always focused on what she didn’t do. And yes, she took care of me physically, but what I needed most was emotional support. I needed my mother’s love. I needed comfort. I wanted her to fight for me, defend me. I needed her to hug me after a nightmare or a bad day.” She pulls back and looks at me, her eyes sad. Tears pool and fall down her pink cheeks. “She never did.”

I reach over and wipe them, pulling her to me again. “I don’t know what it’s like not to have those things. I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing.” I kiss the top of her head.

“You didn’t. I know what you’re doing, and I love you for it.” She pulls away again and pulls the sweater over her head. “Enough of this. You promised me dinner and I’m starving. And by the way, I want to go ice skating again.”

I throw my head back and pretend to groan.

“What? I loved it. I really want to go back,” she says.

“Okay, but I’m getting you lessons because I can’t keep watching you fall every few minutes. No arguments.”

I wait for her to argue and say she can pay for her own lessons, but she surprises me by jumping into my arms, wrapping both legs around me, and kissing me deeply.

“Thank you. I’ve always wanted to learn.”

“I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted,” I whisper against her ear. I pull away and look into her clear brown eyes. “Everything.”

“I have the one thing I want. The one thing I didn’t know I needed. I have you.”

CHAPTER 43

LUKE

Mrs. Etienne frowns briefly as she escorts a couple into one of her tasting rooms, but the other woman sitting in the bakery doesn’t flinch. A lesser woman would have shriveled under the mean glare, but she simply smiles at me as she sips her coffee. The coffee that she ordered from her daughter an hour ago.

I held my breath when she stood in line and ordered, but Vivi treated her like any other customer. Unlike other customers, she’s been sitting here watching me and her daughter for far too long. I look at my watch, anxious for Steve to get here so we can leave. Something is brewing, and I don’t want Vivi to explode at her mother today. I want us to walk out of here, go to her first ice skating lesson, and get on with the rest of our day.

We’ve made Saturdays our day. We spend the entire day together, doing whatever. Today’s a full day with lunch, ice skating, dinner with her friend Terry Ann, and a night club. I don’t care for night clubs, but Vivi wants to go.

Her mother smiles at me again. It’s a sad but genuine smile, which I return. Her smile widens at my gesture and tears fill her eyes. She quickly brushes them away and looks at Vivi again. The line has gotten extremely long, and I see Vivi struggle to keep up. She waves me over.

“Help me. I’ll fill the orders and you ring them up,” she whispers. Mrs. Etienne has a strict rule about only family working at the bakery, but I sneak and try to help Vivi from time to time.

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