Page 38 of Crash

When Tash and Chris told us what happened, I told Sandy I would leave her house to avoid any drama. Tash laughed and said if my father so much as looked at Sandy wrong, Jake would unleash all kinds of hell upon Ixon Chateau.

“Listen, Vivi. There is nothing your father can do. You’re an adult, so he can’t make you go back home. He’s lost all his power, and he knows it. He wants to keep your stuff? Let him. He’s only doing it to hold on to his last shred of control. All of that is replaceable. Sweetie, we’ll just request a copy of your birth certificate, and we can go shopping anytime you need. For anything you need. You’re free, Vivi.” Sandy reached across the table and held on to my hand.

“Thanks, Sandy. And you’ve done too much for me as it is. You already bought me a new wardrobe.”

“Then I’ll take you shopping,” Tash says, grabbing my other hand. “Point is, you’re not alone.”

I cried that night, but it was a cry of relief rather than sadness. I cried for that little girl who’s never known the unconditional love of a mother. I cried for the girl who’s been fighting against her tyrant father her entire life. I cried because I stayed three years longer than I should have, but I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone else, and my father at least paid for college courses.

I cried for the young woman whose mother just stood there and watched in stony silence. There were no words from her to defend me. I stuffed a few things in my bag and took the bus to my aunt’s house. Like expected, she hugged me and took me in. She sent me to Sandy’s house in case my father decided to come to her house looking for a fight.

That night as I laid in Sandy’s guest bedroom, I cried tears of joy for having family. As awful as most of my life has been, I’m thankful for having a family full of strong women who help each other freely and without expectation. I made two promises to myself that night.

I promised I would stop crying over things I could not control. And I promised I would pay it forward through charity work and mentorship.

My reverie is interrupted when Luke speaks. “Maybe you can save up and go next year since you have a job now,” he says as if he’s doing his best to understand being broke.

“Yeah, maybe. Hopefully, I’ll have a fulltime job. I do want some work experience before going to graduate school.”

He seems surprised by that admission, but then he tells me of his plans of getting a master’s degree in finance. He even jokes about moving out of the mailroom.

I’m not sure how it happened, but the room gets darker. The dogs settle down in front of the couch and a movie is suddenly on the TV. I grab a throw, which matches the pillows Luke is hoarding and spread it across my body.

“I’ll share the pillows if you share the throw.” He lays a pillow on his side and beckons for me to come over. I slide along the couch and lay on the side of his big body, my head on the pillow, which is practically in the crook of his arm. I drape the throw against us.

“Troy had a huge crush on this actress when he was a kid,” he says as Sandra Bullock is driving a bus. “He had posters of her, and I drew on all of them one day when he was out. I think I gave her mustaches and horns in all of them, and I colored one of her teeth black. That’s the only time I remember him ever getting mad at me. Jake laughed so hard he almost pissed himself.”

I smile at the story and picture a little blonde Luke wreaking havoc in his brother’s room. I don’t have siblings, but I can sort of relate. I remember driving Sandy crazy because I always wanted to play in her makeup. What I didn’t know was that it was secret makeup she kept hidden from her mother.

I lean closer into him, and in the dark and warm room, I let my eyes close for a second.

I don’t know how long my eyes stay closed, but the sound of a ringing phone is what wakes me. The room has gotten even darker, and a different movie is on. Luke must have fallen asleep too because he jostles awake when I roll off him and run to the kitchen for my phone.

CHAPTER 19

LUKE

I swear, if that is her gay boyfriend, I will punch a hole in the wall, but my hand is saved when I hear her say Sandy’s name. I straighten up the couch as I pretend not to listen to their conversation. She laughs at something. The sound of her laugh is husky like her voice, and I decide that I like how it sounds. I watch her as she speaks. Her back is to me, one hand on her hip. Her messy bun must have come loose as she slept because her hair is wild and free and hangs down her back.

Today was the first day since our first kiss that she’s come to the office without a scarf around her neck. During lunch on that first day, I went to the mall and bought her a bunch of scarves. I had no idea what I was doing. I grabbed a handful and handed them to the cashier.

I left the Macy’s bag on her desk. She tried to return them, but I insisted. I explained I was the reason why she needed a scarf, so it was my duty to provide them. She reluctantly accepted, and to my surprise, when I saw her a few hours later, she was wearing one of them instead of the one she had borrowed from Sandy.

When she ends the call, she finally turns towards me. She’s in nothing but black yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt. She doesn’t have on a stitch of makeup. In fact, she only wears the red lipstick on occasion, and she’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Oblivious of her beauty, she ties her hair up on top of her head, leaving her long neck on full display. Ready to be bitten and sucked.

“That was Sandy,” she says, ignoring the electrical charge in the room. “They’re on their way to a late dinner.”

“Sounds nice.”

“Yeah. It sounds like they’re having fun. This is their downtime before all the Christmas parties they’re obligated to attend this month. I guess you probably have a lot too.”

I do. Between work and family, I must have half a dozen Christmas parties to attend, but the only ones I’m looking forward to is the one my parents have every year and the one Jake and Sandy are having this year.

“I do, not that I’m looking forward to all of them.”

“Well, I’m looking forward to the office party and to the one Sandy’s having here. I’ll be at my aunt’s house on Christmas day, which usually involves work, but I love being with her.” She smiles as she says it. She walks closer to me and sits on the arm of the couch before she continues to speak. “I honestly don’t know how your brother and Sandy juggle both families. I’m happy to be selfish and spend the day with my family. Another pro in the single column.” She smiles as she says it. It’s almost as if she’s figured out some secret.

“It’s part of loving someone, Vivi. I think you’d want to do those things. Sure, it’s a juggling act, but making your significant other happy should make you happy too. I’ve watched my parents do it my entire life. Then I watched Troy and Tracy try to juggle family, you know. Tracy could have said fuck it, but she didn’t because she loves my brother. Really loving him meant she understood what family meant to him, so she always remained open even when things were hostile. Jake and Sandy have much better relationships with their in-laws, though. I think loving someone means going out of your way to love who they love too.”

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