Page 32 of Crash

“I’m fine. It’s been a long day, so just tired.” I hate lying to my cousin, but I won’t be the one to tell her that her husband’s brother is an asshole.

Even though I know his words shouldn’t matter to me, they still hurt. I know I’ve played a role in our combative relationship, but the way he cut me down when I went in waving a white flag won’t leave my thoughts.

“Sandy, I was thinking that work is only about three miles away. I can walk, you know. The exercise can’t hurt.” I can feel her eyes burning a hole in my back, but I refuse to turn and look at her. “You’ve done so much for me already. I don’t want to have to take your car too.”

She walks to the kitchen counter and leans against it, giving me no choice but to look at her.

“Vivi, stop. You’re my family. You’re my cousin, but you’re more like a little sister to me. I’m not going to let you walk six miles a day to and from work when there’s a car sitting in the garage, okay. You’re the one doing me a favor. I’m too stubborn to get rid of the car. It’s the first new car I bought and paid off on my own, so it’s sentimental. If you’re using it, Jake can’t nag me about getting rid of it. What’s this really about?” She takes me into her arms and holds me to her.

“I don’t want to be a burden.” She reaches up and gently strokes my hair.

“You can never, ever be a burden. I love you.”

The tears pool in my eyes and slide down my cheeks. “I don’t know how you could,” I manage to croak out.

She removes her hand from her hair and grabs my face with both hands. “Because we’re family. Because you are beautiful on the inside and out. Because I see who you are, and I love everything about you. You’re strong, Vivi. You’re fierce because, despite your shitty parents, you’re an amazing woman. You have a lot of people who love you.”

The tears flow freely at her words, and I wrap my arms around her. She cradles my head and holds me until the tears stop. “I don’t know what I’d ever do without you, Tash, and Auntie. And even Steve.”

“You’ll always have us.” She kisses my cheek and steps away.

Her words helped but being called insignificant is still heavy on my mind. As I load and start the dishwasher, I hear the front door open, followed by a loud knock.

“Knock, knock.” He closes the door and runs up the stairs. The dogs come running to him, jumping, barking, and licking him. He plays with them, while I wipe down the table, my back to him.

“Hey, Luke!” Sandy says, happy to see him. “You missed dinner, but we have lots of leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry. You can bring Zoey next time if you want.”

“I wasn’t with her tonight.” I can tell he’s walking further into the kitchen, closer to me. The dogs follow him, Lady barking with excitement the entire time. “I just came by to see how everyone was.” He’s standing across from me now. I can feel his eyes on me, but I refuse to acknowledge him.

“Sandy, I’m going to get to bed early. Have a good night.” I rinse out the sponge, leave it in the sink, and walk to my room without even so much as a glance in his direction.

After a shower, I pull my Kindle out of my purse and throw it on the bed. Eager to continue the book I started last night, I throw on a t-shirt and grab my bottle of lotion. During the school semester, I do nothing but read school textbooks, but during my breaks, I give in to my guilty secret pleasure of erotic novels.

Just as I’m lathering lotion to my legs, there’s a loud knock on my door. Assuming it’s Sandy, I tell her to come in.

My hand drops from my thigh and I instinctively pull my shirt down, which only comes to mid-thigh. I can feel my face flush as Luke stares at my bare legs. He swallows as his eyes travel up my body, finally landing on my face. I refuse to make eye contact. I look past his head at the door as I wait for him to speak.

“Hey,” he says. He shuffles his feet around and rubs the back of his neck. When I don’t respond, he clears his throat. “I, uh, I want to apologize for what I said in my office earlier. You came in with good intentions, and I was a jerk. I’m sorry, Vivienne.” I finally look at his face, and he looks at me in the eyes while he speaks. So lost in his green irises, I don’t respond.

He clears his throat again and breaks our stare. I didn’t notice before, but he has a backpack. He takes it off his back, opens it, and pulls out a flat box.

“Just a little peace offering.” He hands me a box of chocolates. I make no move to take it from him, but I quickly scan the box. It’s expensive. Seventy pieces of Godiva chocolates. When I don’t take the box, he clears his throat again and then drops the box on my bed.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier in my office. If you’re still interested, I’d like to take you up on that truce.” He offers me his hand, but I don’t take that either. I just keep staring at his face, looking him right in the eyes.

“No, you’re not. You’re not sorry. It’s not the first time you’ve made comments about me and my family, or my situation, which you know nothing about, by the way.”

He finally puts his hand down.

“You’re right. And it’s really none of my bus—”

I hold my hand up, and he stops speaking. “You think you’re the first person to make me feel small? Unimportant? You’re not. I’ve dealt with it my entire life. With the exception of a handful of people, I’ve been treated as insignificant my entire life.”

“Listen, I—”

“You listen. It’s my turn to talk now,Mr. Clark.” He visibly winces at my words. “You want to put me down because of my issues with my parents? Go ahead. You want to walk in here and remind me that this is your brother’s house, given to him by your grandparents? Feel free. You want to remind me that I’m so pathetic my cousin let me move in here with her husband, and not only do they feed me, but give me transportation? Or that my parents are such assholes they won’t let me come pick up my clothes, so Sandy had to take me shopping so I can have something to wear to my new job? The new job given to me by the patriarchy, the job I’m not qualified for even though my duties only include answering phones and delivering mail? You want to make me feel like shit because my parents didn’t give me a seventy-thousand-dollar car for graduating? Hell, they probably won’t even bother to come to my graduation. Now you know my weaknesses,Mr. Clark, but next time you come for me, you better come with much more than that. Next time, I won’t be meek, and you definitely won’t like what I have to say about you.”

I turn my back on him, but not before seeing the shocked expression on his face. Not caring if he’s still in the room, I continue applying lotion on my legs as I wait for him to leave, only the door never opens. He walks closer and stands so close to me, I can feel the heat radiating off his body.

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