Page 91 of Holly Ever After

“What is this? I'm not someone you can call in the middle of the night when you feel a little lonely and want someone to warm your bed. So, tell me, what is this? Because if it's nothing then it has to stop. Is it nothing?”

My blood gushes behind my ears, the only sound is the pounding of my heart. I want to shake him, pound my fists against his chest.

I need him to say something.

But when he does, I want to take it back. I want to run and hide. I want to clutch at my chest, so it doesn't hurt.

He lifts his head, those whiskey eyes suddenly detach and grow cold. “It's nothing.”

My heart plummets, the weight of his words sending a shockwave of pain throughout my body. The cold, biting wind no longer feels like the worst thing against my skin; it's his words, and the raw honesty with which he delivers them.

I feel the sting of tears, hot and bitter against my cold cheeks. All the passion, the heat from a few moments ago, feels like a distant memory. A mirage.

“Right,” I whisper shakily, wrapping my arms around myself. “I should have known better.”

He reaches out, the desperation evident in his gesture. But I step back, the space between us growing both physically and emotionally. The maze's claustrophobic walls press in, making the divide between us seem vast.

Every fiber of my being wants to believe he's lying, that there's something more behind his words. But I can't let myself hope anymore. The hurt is too deep, the wounds too fresh.

Taking one last look at him, a figure now lost amid the twinkling lights and tall hedges, I turn away, navigating the maze by instinct. Each turn, each step, takes me further from him, even as my heart aches to go back. But sometimes, the hardest path is the only one to take.

The silence of the night is interrupted by distant laughter and Christmas carols. I’m not even aware of which way I’m going. I’m only aware of his footsteps behind me, his eyes on my back. He doesn’t try to catch up. He simply remains a safe distance away.

A breath of relief gushes from my lungs as I finally emerge from the maze and rush back to the town square.

I might have found my way out of the labyrinth, but my heart remains lost, somewhere deep inside, in a twist and turn I can't navigate.

Once we’re back in the square, I realize everyone is already out.

How long were we in there?

Have we lost?

Fuck it. I don’t care.

“Where have you been?” Dad's voice reaches me.

I force a smile, pushing the emotions down. “Guess we just got a little lost.”

Jackie wraps an arm around my shoulders. “You okay?”

“I think I'm finally at the get drunk and forget stage.”

Her mouth turns down briefly before she pulls me into a comforting hug. “I'm sorry, babe.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Sean rejoining the group. I don't turn to look, but his presence is palpable. Jackie seems to sense it too. She glances between Sean and me, determination in her eyes.

“Let's get wasted,” she declares, taking my hand and leading me away.

Thirty-Six

Sean

The night is cold, the sky ink-black above, littered with a smattering of stars. My old pickup rumbles beneath me, the radio crooning some melancholic country ballad that's doing nothing to lift the weight from my chest.

Working late into the evening usually clears my mind, especially during this pre-Christmas rush. The workshop should have been an escape. The rhythmic hum of machinery, the scent of fresh-cut lumber—it's always been my grounding point. But tonight? Nothing works.

The winding road home offers no relief. The engine's growl can't drown out the reel of memories playing in my mind.